


Family Found

by Songbirdsmile



Series: Family Found [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV), Higher Ground
Genre: Angst, CM s4e14, Crossover, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Drama, Family Secrets, Gen, Mentions of past drug use, Mount Horizon, Surprise Connections, chance encounter, mentions of past abuse and trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:33:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 51,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27648931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Songbirdsmile/pseuds/Songbirdsmile
Summary: When JJ is confronted with her own shocking family secret while investigating a case on the other side of the country, she draws upon the support of friends and family, new and old, as she uncovers the missing pieces of her past.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/William LaMontagne Jr., Peter Scarbrow/Sophie Becker
Series: Family Found [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2038698
Comments: 8
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a multi-chapter work with sequels, that will cross over into two additional fandoms. 
> 
> Takes place during and after season 4 episode 14, ‘Cold Comfort.’
> 
> This is my first attempt at posting a multi-chapter story. First time writing one, too. Please forgive me any mistakes as I figure out how to do this, and let me know what you think. 
> 
> EDIT: As I continued writing this series, it developed into a split story between Family Found (focusing on JJ) and the companion/sequel story Shaken and Stirred (focusing on Shelby's world and maybe Jess's). They don't need to be read concurrently, but if you want to, and want a reference guide, the chronological chapter reading order is listed at the bottom of my profile. 
> 
> If read by itself, Part 1 of Shaken and Stirred will be snapshots of Shelby's experience during the Family Found timeline. Once we reach the conclusion of Family Found, the story will continue forward with Part 2 of Shaken and Stirred. Hope this makes sense!
> 
> P.S. If you are here because of Steve, he will be hinted at in Family Found, come into play mid-Part 1 of Shaken and Stirred, and be featured more regularly as time passes throughout the rest of the series. Don't get discouraged if you don't see much of him yet.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

JJ couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so divinely motivated. Her logical brain told her that taking evidence to a psychic was misguided, that there was no valid reason for entertaining this as a true lead. Her maternal instinct weighed heavily on her heart, but she was aware of that bias, that she was over-identifying with Sandra Lombardini’s desperate need to believe her child was still alive. There was no other explanation for allowing herself to potentially mislead the investigation than just plain gut feeling and faith.

As the team worked at the police station, JJ slipped out to visit Stanley Usher, the psychic that Rossi was so adamantly against involving. With the suspected killer’s letter in-hand, she made her way across town, certain this would provide a solid lead.

The infamous Washington rain poured down as she pulled into the quiet residential neighborhood, dense cloud cover making midday feel much later. Parking along the curb in front of Usher’s house, JJ grabbed her umbrella and the letter and dashed to the covered porch.

Her knock was answered quickly. “Hello, Agent. Do you have news?”

“No. I’m sorry to bother you, Mr. Usher, but do you have a moment to look at something else for Brooke Lombardini’s case?”

“Of course. Please, come in.”

She leaned her umbrella against the porch wall and stepped inside. “I have a letter written by a person of interest. Anything you can get off it would be appreciated.”

As the psychic settled in with the letter, JJ wandered to the windows and looked out through sheets of rain. House #1, a young family with a toddler girl and two older boys. House #2, a duplex, split by a single woman in her late 20s-early 30s and a retired couple in their 60s-70s. House #3, recently purchased by a family with two teenagers. House #4, longtime home of an elderly man, possibly widowed.

JJ’s position as the unit’s police and media liaison kept her busy in most situations, but left her twiddling her thumbs in some others. She often played this game of building her own mini profile for a selection of people or places. Though she would never tell the others outright, it was a point of pride that she was picking up their methods, learning by observation the finer details of profiling.

Previously, she hadn’t wanted the responsibility of being an official team profiler and just enjoyed improving her skills. They came in handy when selecting the team’s cases.

But recently, she had begun looking into classes. While on maternity leave, she’d made some inquiries, and, between online classes and weekend seminars, she thought she could accomplish it over the next few years. Honestly, she lived the master class every day, but she was finally ready to invest in the formal training.

With a cough, Usher puller her attention back to the room. “They are near water… I see a rocky shoreline.”

“Anything else? Any more feelings on her well-being?”

“This letter isn’t hers, it’s his, but I’m getting a sense of… impatience.” His face was grim.

“Okay. Thank you for your time, Mr. Usher.”

“It’s no trouble. I want to help.” At the door, he shook her hand. “We were interrupted at the station, but may I say again, ma’am, congratulations. It’s a wonderful thing, building a family.”

“Thank you. Have a good day!”

As JJ approached her car, the keys slipped out of her grasp and she struggled to balance her umbrella and purse while maneuvering to catch them. Just as she managed to get them into the lock, she heard a voice call from across the street.

“Shelby! Lovin’ the new ‘do.”

JJ looked around, but it seemed they were speaking to her.

“What’s with the surprise visit?” they continued. “I wish you would have called. I’m heading out.”

JJ scanned the street and found a young woman with blonde hair waving at her. She was standing on the front porch of the duplex in what, through the rain, looked to be patterned scrubs and a jacket, with a large purse over her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else,” JJ called back.

“Funny, Shel. Come on, let’s get out of the rain. I’ve only got a few minutes before I really will be running late.”

“Really, ma’am. I’m not sure who you think I am, but my name is Jennifer Jareau. I’m here with the FBI, investigating some murders in the area. I need to get back now. You have a good day.”

She got into her car and immediately put the odd encounter aside as she focused on what she hoped was a new lead to catch this killer.

*****

JJ was in the conference room gathering up all the team’s case files and debris and clearing the board so they would be ready to depart once they returned from the field. They’d called to let her know that Brooke had been found alive and Roderick was taken safely into custody. Hotch had been kind enough to let her know about the rocky shore billboard, and she was feeling a little shaken. Also, a little vindicated. Rossi’s rude dismissals and flat out refusal to tolerate anything related to the psychic had been grating on her.

She could accept that her interpretation of the lead was wrong, and she would definitely be addressing her response to the lost child aspect of this case when she got home. Everyone was someone’s child. Her knee-jerk reaction to that scenario would be crippling in this job if she didn’t get a handle on it quickly.

“I need to see Agent Jennifer Jareau, please. Is she here?”

JJ turned to see the woman from that afternoon at the front desk.

“Hello, ma’am. How can I help you?” she said, walking over.

The woman stilled and looked almost entranced by something as JJ approached.

“I… I’m sorry to bother you during your investigation, but I really need to talk to you. Is there somewhere we can speak in private?”

“It’s fine. We just wrapped up the case. We can speak back here.” Leading the way, JJ quickly gathered the last few files and scanned for any visible photos or evidence.

“I hope you found the killer.”

“We did, and a life was saved, too. It was a good day.” She motioned the woman into a seat at the conference table.

“That’s great, I’m glad to hear it.” The woman was obviously nervous and using small talk to delay their conversation. She kept awkwardly staring, as if waiting for something to happen, but it seemed like JJ was the cause of her anxiety.

Unsettled herself, JJ brushed a hand over her hair and tugged at the bottom of her shirt. “So, what did you need to talk to me about?”

“Well, after I saw you earlier, I had this feeling that something was off. It kind of settled between my shoulder blades and just wouldn’t shake. You see, you look so much like my sister, Shelby. So I called my mom, just to tell her about the crazy coincidence. But when I told her, she got real quiet.” She’d been rambling with increasing speed, but there she stopped for a deep, shuddering breath and continued more carefully. “Jennifer, I figure you don’t know anything about this, since you had no idea who I was talking about this afternoon, but… did you know you’re a twin?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve loved Higher Ground since it aired in 2000, so I forget sometimes that some people have never seen it. There should be enough explanation throughout the text to fill in the background for those who haven’t, but the important point to note is that A.J. Cook, who plays JJ in Criminal Minds, also played Shelby Merrick in Higher Ground. For the purposes of this story, the HG story-line has been shifted backwards three years to line up their ages. (JJ doesn’t have an official birthday that I could find, so, working backwards from her career, 1980 worked for me.) If I introduce any characters from the original HG story-line, I will explain in-text, so prior knowledge of the show is not necessary. You’ll just get more suspense out of this.
> 
> Also, I am not comfortable trying to write out the accents or the phrasing of unfamiliar-to-me regions without a ton of research, so Will may seem a little OOC. Please imagine his Louisiana accent!
> 
> Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Trigger Warning: If you are unfamiliar with the Higher Ground storyline, Shelby and Jess’s childhood was scarred by sexual abuse at the hands of their stepfather. If you are unfamiliar with JJ’s Criminal Minds backstory, her older sister committed suicide when JJ was 11. I will not be referencing these directly for now, but the resulting emotional traumas play into the plot. They may be discussed eventually. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

“…What?” JJ couldn’t have heard that right. It was ridiculous. But she could see the hair on her arms standing on end.

“This is so awkward. I can’t believe I’m the one that has to break all this to you. I’m so sorry if it’s confusing, I only just found out myself, but please, hear me out. My name is Jessica Merrick. I was born in January 1982. My older sister, Shelby Merrick, was born July 15, 1980.”

JJ’s heart began to race at that. Surely it was a coincidence that the woman’s sister shared her birthday… and looked like her. One of those twin-stranger marvels-of-nature things. Right?

“My mom, Alice Merrick, has just informed me that our father’s name is Henry Jareau and that we were born in Pennsylvania. She never told us that before,” the woman grumbled.

Her head was reeling. How could this woman know her father’s name and her home state? It couldn’t be true.

“Apparently, when Mom and Henry divorced not long after I was born, they split up the kids. Mom took me and Shelby, and Henry kept you and our older sister.”

“Roz,” she gasped. Now her stomach was rolling. She pressed a fist to her mouth, trying to suppress the flood of anguish and memories that name jolted loose.

“Is that her name? Mom didn’t get that far in the story before I got mad and hung up. I tried to call Shelby, but she’s out in the woods and won’t be back until tonight. I had to see you again. You said you were F.B.I., so I looked up the news and saw the case you must have been on, and I came right down here.”

“Yeah.” Breathing was becoming an issue. She needed the woman to stop talking. Her other hand grabbed the edge of the table.

“This is all just insane. I mean, who separates twins like that? The real world is not like a Disney movie. Though I suppose they had to get the idea from somewhere. But really, it’s a horrible thing to do. And not just the twins, all four of us. And to never say anything?”

She had to make it stop. What did the woman say her name was? “Jessica! Please! Give me a minute here.”

“Sorry, I ramble when I’m excited. I’ll shut up.” Jessica bit her lip as JJ worked to pull herself back together and fend off an all-out panic attack.

They sat quietly for a few minutes. Jessica was silent but still fidgety, looking all around the room when she wasn’t staring at JJ like she was analyzing every detail.

JJ managed to shut down her external reaction first, staring blankly at the table as she took slow deep breaths and dealt with the inner turmoil. Head, heart, gut… in this moment, there was one thing they all agreed on. Proof. She needed proof.

Jessica broke the silence first, with a very gentle, “Are you okay?”

“Do you have any pictures?”

“Yes! I’m sorry I didn’t think of that before.” She scrambled through her purse. “I have a few on my phone from the last time I saw Shelby. And I have a ton more at home. Here.”

Jessica placed her open phone on the table in front of JJ. The small screen showed two smiling blondes, and one of them was her. No. Shelby? Her hair was longer, and she had bangs. It looked like they were hiking, dressed in plaid flannel shirts with huge backpacks. Jessica took the phone back and switched to the next picture. This one showed JJ, no, Shelby in a kayak. Her long ponytail was pulled through the back of a baseball cap, and she was sticking her tongue out at the camera.

“I… It’s me… I mean… she looks just…” JJ collapsed back in the chair and ran her hands over face. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

“I’m so sorry to spring this on you. I can’t believe no one ever told us. Over 25 years, and I’m just finding out I only know half my family. I mean I knew that I had a dad I’d never met, but sisters! This is just so insane. Do you want to meet Shelby? I can take you to see her, she’s only a couple hours away. We could—”

“Stop. Please, Jessica. I can’t…” Thoughts of Roz were bubbling up again. “Too much, too fast.”

“Sorry!”

“Stop apologizing! You don’t need to. Sounds like you were as in the dark as I was.” JJ tried to shove the painful memories back behind their wall so she could figure out what to do next.

“Yeah.” It seemed a herculean effort for Jessica to contain her nervous energy, but she was trying.

“Can we just… you said Shelby’s gone ‘til tomorrow?”

“Well, she’s hiking, but she should be back in a few hours.”

“Okay. Can you just give me tonight to wrap my head around all this? Give me your phone number. I’ll call you later.”

“Sure, I can do that. Oh, Jennifer, I’m so happy to meet you! I know I’m freaking you out, but can I hug you?”

“Um, yeah, I guess.” JJ awkwardly accepted the bouncing woman’s embrace. She only held it for a few moments, but was starting to relax into it a little before they pulled back. It felt right, in an odd way.

Jessica retrieved a blank scrap of paper and a pen from a nearby table. “Okay, here’s my number. I was supposed to be working tonight, but I called off when all this happened, so call anytime you want.”

“All right. Please… can we keep this between us for now? Don’t tell anyone else today. Except your sister, if you want, of course. My team’s going to be back any minute, and they can already read me like a book. I’m not… I’m not ready to deal with them when I don’t even understand…”

“Yeah, that makes sense. I’ll clear out of here. Give you some space.” Jessica looked a little disappointed, but JJ was too overwhelmed to care. “I won’t say anything.”

“Thanks.”

“Talk to you soon, Jennifer.”

“I’ll call you later. Bye.”

JJ watched her walk out of the building. She couldn’t believe what just happened. How had her entire world been flipped upside down in one conversation? This was all too much to take in. A twin. And a little sister. The mother she never knew. All here in Washington. A whole other family on the opposite side of the country.

Family! Call Sandy. And Will. Maybe they could help her work through this.

She looked around the room again, noting the time, and started to pull herself back together. Had to do it fast if she didn’t want the profilers to catch on.

She finished methodically packing up the case materials and, feeling her calm start to return, headed outside to find a nearby bench. The rain had stopped in the last hour, so she took a moment to breathe in the fresh air before dialing Will.

It was after 6:00 on the East Coast, so he was at home and picked up right away.

“Hey, cher.”

All the self-control she’d muscled back into place crumbled at the familiar greeting.

“Will.”

He was instantly alerted by the tremor in her voice. “What’s wrong, cher? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Safe. All good. Case is over. We saved the girl.”

“That’s great. What’s up? You sound off.”

“I just… Will, some really weird stuff just happened, and I’m so confused.”

“Tell me, cher.”

There was a long silence as JJ tried to figure out how to explain her life-altering conversation.

“JJ?”

“I have sisters,” she burst out.

It was Will’s turn for confused silence. “…What?”

The chaos in JJ’s head finally started flowing. “I ran into this woman when I was out on the case. A young woman. She called me Shelby, but I just blew her off and went back to it. To the case. She showed up at the station a little bit ago and explained. She’s my little sister, Will. And I have a twin. Apparently, my long-lost mother’s here, too. This woman was just as surprised as me. Not about her mom, but about me. She told her mom about meeting her sister’s lookalike, and her mom confessed the whole thing to her. They split us up in the divorce. Me and Roz and Shelby and Jessica. My little sister’s name is Jessica. They kept everything a secret from us all these years. She had pictures. She looks just like me. Shelby. My twin.”

“Wow, cher,” Will said, dumbfounded, when JJ finally paused for breath. “That’s big.”

“Yeah. I don’t know what to do. Jessica wants to introduce me to her. My twin. Shelby. I guess she’s out in the woods until tomorrow? I don’t know where. Or why. But she was so excited. Jessica. Practically bouncing off her seat as she was telling me all this. It was all too much. I told her I needed a break and I’d call later, but Will… I… I…” She was on her way to panic again when Will jumped back in.

“I got you, cher. Is anyone from the team with you?”

“No, they’re still out at the scene. But they’ll be here soon. I don’t want them to know yet, Will. This is too big. Too personal. They’re family, but this is Family. I need to figure it out in my own brain before they get their profiler noses near this.”

“I understand. Listen, I’m going to call the sitter back. She’ll come stay with Henry, and I’m going to grab the next flight to Seattle. I’ll be there tomorrow morning.”

“Thank you, Will,” she nearly cried in relief.

“I want you to head back to your hotel now, okay? Get a new room for us.”

“Okay.”

“Call Hotch, and ask for a few days of personal time. Claim illness if you want, or tell him I’m surprising you for a weekend without the baby or something like that. We’ll fly back together later.”

“Okay.”

“Take a nap, go for a swim or a run, whatever you want to clear your head. Then call Jessica back. Talk as much or as little as you want, but tell her I’m flying out, and we’d like to meet Shelby this weekend, if she can set that up. You want that, right?”

JJ thought about it for a minute. “Yeah. I mean, we can’t stay in Washington for long, and who knows when I’ll be back this way. It’s so fast, but I want to meet her. Yes.”

“Good. Tell Jessica that. I’ll call and let you know details about my flight as soon as I book it.”

“Okay.”

“You want me to call Sandy, cher?”

JJ sighed. “No, not yet. I may call her later, but I need to do that myself. I have questions.”

“Got it. All right, clear out of the police station now so you don’t cross paths with your team. Get over to the hotel. I’m going to go see about a flight, and I’ll call you back soon with the itinerary.”

“Thanks, Will. I love you so much, babe.”

“I love you, too, cher. I’ll be with you soon. Hang in there.”

“I will.” She felt so much better for having a plan.

“Hey, it’s overwhelming, but this is a good thing. It’s unusual to add family members instead of lose them, right? Especially for us.”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Her heart twinged.

“See you soon, cher.”

*****

With her head leaned against the water-spotted window of the cab, JJ called her boss.

“Hey, Hotch.”

“JJ. We’re just wrapping things up here. We should be back shortly.”

“That’s great. Got a second to talk privately?”

“Sure.” There was some rustling movement and the sound of a closing door. “Okay, I’m alone.”

“I’m on my way back to the hotel, Hotch. Something’s come up, and I need to take a few personal days.” She hesitated. “I know I just got back from maternity leave, but this is really important.”

“What’s going on?” The apprehension was clear in his tone.

“I can’t say. I don’t want to lie to you, Hotch,” she said apologetically. “This is extremely personal, and I’d rather not tell the team about it right now.”

“I understand. And it’s fine to take a few days. But, are you okay?”

“Yes, or I will be.” JJ considered how best to alleviate his concern. “No physical harm, no danger. Just stress. Will’s flying out here tonight, so I won’t be alone. I promise I will fill everyone in when I get back to D.C. Which should be Monday, I think. If that’s okay.”

“Of course. Should I tell them anything? You know they’ll be concerned.”

JJ pinched the bridge of her nose. “Please don’t say anything more than I’m staying for a few extra days in Seattle. You can call it a surprise, romantic, baby-free vacation, if you think that will keep them from profiling and trying to solve the mystery. I love them all, but I need to figure this out for myself before I let them in.” She hated asking him to lie.

“All right.”

“I’m getting a new room at the hotel for Will and me. I’ll be out of my shared room before you guys get back. I don’t want to run into the team. They’ll start profiling the second they see my face; I’m too shaken up.”

There was a heavy pause on the line. “You sure you’re okay? I can delay the flight back. Stay with you until Will arrives.”

“No. Thank you for that, Hotch, but I really will be fine. It’s actually a positive thing, I swear. I’m just in shock and so overwhelmed I’m having a hard time thinking straight.”

“JJ… This time, can I be godfather to one of your twins?”

That startled a laugh out of her. “What? No, that’s not it! And leave the mystery alone for now, please!” She was shocked at how close he unknowingly came. Damn profilers and their sixth sense.

“I mean, it’s one thing they’ll consider. A celebratory weekend…” he teased, dryly.

“Noted. I can fill you all in before I’m back at the office Tuesday, and we can nip any rumors in the bud. Maybe you could convince Rossi we need a team dinner—plus Will—at his house for some reason, on Monday night. I know he’s going on annual leave for his book tour soon. This doesn’t really affect the team, but you’re all family, and I would like to share once I’ve got it figured out.”

“I can do that. We’ll let you know what we set up.”

“I may be offline for a while, but I’ll check my messages. Thanks, Hotch. For everything.”

“You’re welcome. Call if you need anything, JJ.”

“Will do. Bye.”

*****

“All right, B.A.U.,” Hotch called out, stepping back into the room. “Let’s get out of here. Wheels up at 5:00.”

They all moved towards the cars, pleased with the happy ending and eager to get home.

“Who was that?” Emily asked. “It looked serious.”

“JJ. She’s flying back commercial. She asked to stay a few extra days. Will’s flying out to meet her here.”

“Go, Blondie!” Morgan chimed in. “A little post-baby romance in the Pacific Northwest. Nice.”

Hotch just quirked a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: I decided to keep this story from JJ's POV. The next Family Found chapter will continue JJ's evening. To read what happened when Jess broke the news to Shelby in the meantime, switch to the companion story, Shaken and Stirred, chapters 1-3.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated Trigger Warning: If you are unfamiliar with the Higher Ground storyline, Shelby and Jess’s childhood was scarred by sexual abuse at the hands of their stepfather. If you are unfamiliar with JJ’s Criminal Minds backstory, her older sister committed suicide when JJ was 11. I will not be referencing these directly for now, but the resulting emotional traumas play into the plot. They may be discussed eventually. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

The rain had started again. It was the first thing JJ noticed when she woke, but her mind was calmed by the quiet pattering of raindrops on the window, tempted to fall back asleep.

She’d pulled the curtains closed, undressed, and crashed as soon as she got into the new hotel room, only staying conscious long enough to text Will the hotel name and room number and say she’d be napping for a while.

He had responded right away with: _alaska airlines flight arriving 9am pst. love you_

Her eyes searched for the clock; it was only 5:30. The team should be in the air by now. Rolling over to check her phone, she found more messages.

From Garcia: _surprise sexy weekend getaway? that’s my girl!!! alert the sitter - may steal my godson for a playdate…_

From Rossi: _team pizza night at my house 7:00 monday. bring will. enjoy seattle_

From Spencer: _Hope all is well. It was great having you back with the team. See you Monday at Rossi’s?_

JJ smiled. Her team was the best.

Judging the time difference, she decided to call her mom before Jessica. She sank back into the pillows and took a few minutes to figure out what she wanted to say, then hit the speed dial.

“Jen! How are you?”

“Hi, Mom! I’m good. We just wrapped a case in Washington State. A happy ending for a mother and daughter. It made me want to call you.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so glad you did.”

They spent some time catching up on their lives until JJ gathered the courage to mention her news.

“Mom, do you remember anything Dad told you about my birth mother?”

“Sweetheart, you haven’t asked about her in years,” Sandy began cautiously. “It feels like you’re leading up to something here. Just tell me. What’s on your mind?”

“I found out she’s here in Washington. Did you know that?” JJ held her breath, not sure what answer she wanted.

“No. All Hank ever told me was that his ex-wife’s name was Alice and she left him to move out West. He never wanted to talk about her, so I left it alone. Hank was real close-lipped about the past.”

“I know why,” JJ muttered.

“Jenny?”

“When they divorced, they split up the family. Right down the middle. Dad kept Roz and me. She took my twin sister and our baby sister.” JJ’s voice was quiet, but edged in steel. The more she thought about this, the angrier she got.

Sandy wasn’t making any sound. JJ was just starting to get nervous when she finally heard, “…What!?” in a harsh whisper. “I don’t understand.”

“I have more sisters, Mom. I met one of them today. Jessica, my little sister. She was born the year they divorced, so two years younger?” JJ was working herself up again. “I just randomly met her when I was working on this case in Olympia. She lives across the street from the man I was interviewing. She saw me by my car in the rain and thought I was her sister, Shelby, coming to visit.”

“Are you sure, Jen?”

“I totally blew her off, Mom. I thought she was confused. But she showed up at the police station later, looking for me. She had called her mom, who admitted the whole thing. Told her Dad’s name for the first time; it’s not that common of a name. Told her where we lived. It all matched. She showed me photos of her and Shelby. Mom… she looks just like me. I’m a twin. I have this other half that I forgot all about.” JJ was in tears now.

“Oh, honey.” Sandy’s voice cracked a little. “Are you there alone?”

“Will’s coming. I called him right after she left. I was so confused and in shock, I’m not sure I made any sense, but he talked me through it. He’s on the first flight out in the morning.” JJ swiped at her eyes and cleared her throat. “I got a few days off of work, and we’re going to meet her. Shelby. Jessica said she’d introduce me. I have to call her back tonight and set that up,” she finished, sounding determined.

“Okay, that sounds good. I’m glad he helped you figure this out. This is a lot,” Sandy marveled. “You should go ahead and call Jessica. I think I’m going to call Will and offer to relieve the babysitter tomorrow. I could use some quality grandson time.”

“All right, thanks. Mom, you may have to fight Henry’s fairy godmother for him. Pen texted me earlier and said she wanted to steal him sometime this weekend.”

“We can share,” she laughed. “I’d love to finally meet her. Your stories are all so over the top.”

“Well, that’s Penelope, incandescently extra, with a heart of gooey caramel and a brain like a circuit board…” JJ’s own brain shouted a warning. “Mom, she doesn’t know anything about what’s going on. Nobody on the team does. They all think I’m having a romantic, baby-free getaway. I plan to tell them on Monday night. After I’ve met Shelby. I just couldn’t deal with anything else this weekend.”

“Okay, I understand, Jen. I won’t say a word. Now, you call me back anytime if you want to keep talking. I mean it. Tonight, tomorrow, whenever.”

“I will.”

“One more thing. Is it okay if I talk with your brother? I know you don’t want to take on any more right now, but he’ll need to know. He’d want to know. I think…” Sandy stopped and continued softly, “I think I may need someone to talk this through with, also.”

“Of course, Mom. Tell Paul I’ll talk to him next week. This is so crazy. Our lives all changed in one afternoon.” After a long pause, JJ stumbled through her next request. “Mom, it’s okay if you don’t, but I thought I’d check before I said anything. Do you… do you think you and Paul might want to… maybe it would be okay if… would you be willing to—"

“Jen, yes. Absolutely. If you want us to meet them, and they want to meet us, those girls are more than welcome in our home any time. We would love to get to know your sisters with you. Despite whatever questionable choices your father and mother made,” her voice tightened at that, “you are a family. And your family is our family. Always.”

“Thanks.” JJ lingered for a minute, not knowing if she really wanted to share her last thought.

“I’m really mad at him, Mom,” she whispered finally.

“Me, too, sweetheart. Me, too.”

*****

After indulging in a good cry and some pillow-muffled yelling, JJ made her return call to Jessica. She really couldn’t deal with much more upheaval tonight, so she planned to quickly set up the next day’s meeting and head to the hotel’s gym. But once Jessica got her on the phone, it proved impossible to avoid more conversation.

“Hi, Jessica, it’s—"

“Jennifer! You called! Oh, I was so nervous you wouldn’t. You seemed so freaked out this afternoon.”

“Yeah, I was. I am. But I’m starting to wrap my head around it.”

“Good. I might have seemed calmer when I talked to you, but I had my own little hysterical fit earlier after I talked to Mom. I was so mad! It wasn’t pretty, and my steering wheel’s a little bruised.” She chuckled a little. “I finally got ahold of Shelby after dinner. She had no idea either. She took the news about as well as you did. Lots of silence and panic. This whole situation is really throwing all of us for a major loop.”

“Yeah, that’s for sure,” JJ replied, already feeling the pressure building behind her eyes once more.

“I asked her about bringing you up tomorrow, and she said she can clear the day if you want. No pressure.” Jessica sounded nervous, like she was trying her best not to spook her new sister.

“I want. Actually, there will be two of us coming, if that’s alright. I called my partner, Will, after you came to the station, and he’s flying out in the morning. I think I scared him, I was so rattled. He’d like to come with me when I meet Shelby.”

“That’s great! We’d love to meet him, too. I’ll let her know. There are guest cabins up there, if you guys don’t want to drive back late. How early is he getting to Washington?”

“He should be in Olympia by 10:30 or 11:00, I think. We’ll… talk about staying overnight once he gets here.” JJ hadn’t even considered yet how long this reunion might last. She was still focused on the first meeting.

“Sounds good. Why don’t I meet you at your hotel at noon? Then we can all drive together. That should give us plenty of time. It’s about a two-hour drive to where Shelby is. She works at a boarding school up in the mountains.”

“Okay, that works.” Seemed like they’d found the first difference between the twins. JJ couldn’t imagine being a teacher. “A boarding school? Not something you hear every day.”

“Yep. It’s a pretty special place, and it’s like home to me. I went there, too.”

JJ wanted to ask her more about it, but Jessica kept right on going.

“Thanks for doing this, Jennifer. I’m really glad we’ll get to spend a little time with you before you go home.”

“Me, too.”

After that, JJ had given Jessica the hotel address and said goodnight.

Determined to sweat out some of her nerves, JJ found her way to the gym and moved through a full circuit of weight machines. Once she finished that, and five miles on a treadmill, she headed over to the pool to swim laps. By 10:00, she had finally burned through a good chunk of her stress and was ready to shower and sleep, wanting to be well rested for her second day of overwhelming emotional revelations.

She’d listened to every gut-punching detail Jessica had babbled out today, but now it was going to be her turn. Fair’s fair, and there was no putting this off. Her sisters deserved to know the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

JJ checked her watch again as she paced the baggage claim area. When she’d awoken for the third time at 5 a.m. and her eyes refused to close again, she decided to just drive to Seattle to pick up Will. She’d texted to let him know but had no idea if he would see the message in time, so she was hovering near the stairs, determined to catch him.

Yesterday’s shock and panic had eased overnight, despite her fitful sleeping. Each time she’d lain awake, staring at the ceiling, her brain would run through it all again. She’d picked apart her memories, searching for any slips in conversations with her dad or Roz, trying to dig up any forgotten moments of time with her twin and little sister. Always believing she’d had a good memory, JJ was left disappointed and discouraged, with more questions than answers, as she’d worked to recall childhood details that just wouldn’t come.

The drive north had allowed her a break, as the unfamiliar roads and weekend traffic required her full attention, but she’d arrived early, and her head was spinning once more.

On her fiftieth lap past the coffee cart, she heard her name and turned to see Will jogging down the stairs. She rushed into his arms and clung to him for a few minutes. Breathing in his cologne, laced with that newly-familiar baby scent, and feeling his solid chest beneath her cheek brought her back to center as his hands alternately stroked her hair and rubbed circles on her back.

Eventually, she surfaced and they moved to the baggage carousel, where she was surprised to see that he had checked a large suitcase.

“I’ll explain later. Let’s get to the hotel and grab something to eat. I’ve been up since 3 a.m.”

They walked hand-in-hand to JJ’s rental car in the short-term lot as Will obliged her request for any stories of Henry she’d missed and were soon back on the road to Olympia.

“So how you doing, cher?” Will asked as JJ drove south on the highway.

“Much better. Head’s clearer. I’m not as panicky. A little angrier,” she shrugged.

“Well, that’s good. Sleep helped?”

“Yeah. And I called Mom.”

“I know. She called me right after. Decided she’s going to drive down this afternoon and take over with Henry for the rest of our trip. Worked out well, the sitter couldn’t do overnights this week.”

“I warned her that Penelope has her fairy godmother wings on this weekend. She’s planning to steal Henry at some point. Mom promised to share.” JJ laughed at the thought of the two of them fighting over cuddle time.

“Bless that crazy woman. So, does Penelope know what’s happening?”

“No. She and the team think we’re on a post-baby romantic getaway. Expect teasing when we see them Monday.”

“What’s on Monday?”

“Pizza night at Rossi’s. I asked Hotch to set it up. I couldn’t lie to him on the phone. He got really worried, and he was so great about it, even offered to stay with me until you got here.”

Will raised an eyebrow as she continued.

“I wouldn’t tell him any details. I only said I was shaken up by something very personal, but I wasn’t in danger, and it was a good thing. And I promised to tell everyone about it on Monday if he would keep them from sleuthing ‘til then.”

“Well, that worked out all right, I guess, if they think we’re just having a fun weekend.”

“Oh my god,” JJ laughed, remembering the call, “Hotch made a joke about us celebrating being pregnant with twins. I almost choked. Hence the immediate team dinner before they can all let their crazy ideas spin out of control.”

“Good idea.” Will reached for her hand. “You know, I feel like we’ve barely slept in weeks, but now we know twins run in your family… gets a guy thinking.”

JJ pulled her hand free with a groan and smacked his chest. “Too soon, babe. In all ways.”

*****

Back at the hotel, they stashed Will’s suitcase in the room and walked to the diner down the street for an early lunch. They placed their order and chatted more about Henry and mundane things at home before JJ got curious.

“So why did you bring your briefcase to lunch, in Washington?”

He took a deep breath as he moved the case from the bench seat to the side of the table. “I had a lot of time to think after I got the flight and the sitter figured out last night, so I grabbed my work laptop and did a little looking around.”

“Will.” JJ snapped her eyes to his.

His hands went up in a plea for patience. “Now, I know, cher. I felt kind of guilty about it, but tell me you wouldn’t do the same for me, or your family, or your team. If someone you loved had people pop up claiming to be family, wouldn’t you feel a little suspicious? You’d want to make sure they weren’t being conned. Weren’t going to be in danger if they decided to go someplace with them.”

Her stony silence disagreed.

“When Sandy called, we talked a while about all this. I didn’t tell her what I found, just eased her mind. She’s all shook up, worrying about you. I promised I’d look out for you through this. And that starts here.”

JJ broke her glare to smile kindly at the waitress when their food arrived. Then, she kept her eyes on her plate as she dug in.

“Cher, I only did the basics. Pretty much, Google could tell you what I looked up. I know I’m working with family here. I’m treading carefully. I’m not going to tell you anything you don’t ask for, and I’m not going to let on that I did it. I just wanted to make sure we weren’t walking into anything dangerous and to have the information ready if you felt you needed it. You were so thrown yesterday. I got your back.”

She thought about it, and though she still disagreed with his unsolicited invasion of her new sisters’ privacy, she was a little curious. “And are we walking into anything dangerous? The way you’re dancing around this makes me think there’s something bad.”

“I think your sisters are good people.” He picked up his fork and started in on his eggs.

“That’s not what I asked.”

He took a long sip of his coffee before he answered, “I don’t think we’re in any danger.”

“Will.” She set down her silverware and waited until he looked up. “Is there something bad?”

“How much you want to know?” he asked carefully.

Honestly, she could do her own check on the women with one quick call to Penelope, but she’d never even considered it. It hadn’t crossed her mind in the middle of all the panic, and it didn’t feel right now. But he already had the info…

“Broad strokes. Only the vital stuff. I’d rather learn about my family from what they want to tell me. I hope anyone would do me the same courtesy.”

“Okay, cher.” He made a point of moving the case back down to the bench, out of sight, and reached across the table to hold her hand. “You and I, we’ve had some heartache in our lives, yeah? Shelby and Jessica are no different. Those girls have stories. I’ll let y’all share when you’re ready.”

“You didn’t mention Alice.”

“No, I did not. And neither have you. You’re meeting Shelby today. No one said anything about your mother. So I figure, one step at a time in this great family discovery. She’s a worry for another day all together.”

JJ exhaled in relief. She really wasn’t ready to dive into feelings about Alice and her part in all this.

“Thanks, Will.” She squeezed his hand and let go. “Now eat up. Jessica’s meeting us at the hotel soon.”

Will nodded and spread jelly on a piece of toast. “So what’s your plan for today?”

“Well, Jessica said it’s about a two-hour drive into the mountains. I guess they can arrange for us to have a room there if we want to stay longer. She works at some kind of boarding school.”

“Why don’t we go ahead and check out of the hotel, then. We can always get a room closer to the airport if you decide you don’t want to stay at the school.”

“Okay.” She gulped down the last of her coffee. “Will, do you mind if I ride with my sister and you take the rental? Once we get there, I’m bound to be more focused on Shelby, and now that I’m over the initial shock, I think I’d like to have some time to get to know Jessica. She reminded me of Penelope, in some way, through the haze of panic. I feel bad about blowing her off yesterday.”

“No problem, cher. It’s your trip. Honestly, if she’s like Penelope, I’ll be glad to miss some of the girl talk.”

She just laughed and threw a balled-up napkin at his head.

*****

JJ was relaxed on a couch in the hotel lobby when her little sister practically bounced into the room, spotting her immediately.

“Hi, Jennifer! It’s so good to see you again!”

“Hi! Please call me JJ. Everyone does.” As JJ rose, she felt Will come up beside her and place a hand at the small of her back. “Jessica, this is my partner, Will LaMontagne. Will, my little sister, Jessica.”

“Jess,” she corrected with a smile, offering a hand. “Nice to meet you, Will.”

“Pleasure’s mine, Jess. This has all been quite the surprise, but it’s great to meet more of JJ’s family.” He politely kissed her knuckles.

Jess blushed at the unexpected attention and giggled over his accent. “Is that Louisiana I hear?”

At his nod, she launched into a story about a college trip to Mardi Gras.

JJ rolled her eyes at the over-dramatic gesture, but smiled over her sister’s adorable reaction as she busied herself gathering the luggage. If she didn’t know the girl was only two years her junior, she would have bet on her still being a college student, thanks to her youthful looks, childlike energy, and enthusiastic behavior.

They all headed out to the cars, and Jess gave Will a rundown of the directions before hopping in. Will gave JJ one more bolstering hug and kiss, then ushered her into Jess’s car.

“Well, he’s a cutie! How’d you two meet?”

“We worked together on a case.” JJ kept her answer vague, not wanting the trip to turn into a discussion of law enforcement and serial killers.

“Nice. You know, I couldn’t help myself this morning, I was so curious. I Googled ‘Jennifer Jareau F.B.I.’”

JJ cringed, hoping she hadn’t found anything too disturbing.

“I watched a couple clips of you in press conferences. You handle the media really well. So commanding, but you can see the heart behind it at the same time.”

Touched by that description, JJ smiled and mumbled a soft “Thanks.”

“Did you look us up, too?” Jess asked as she navigated into midday traffic.

“Jess, I work for the F.B.I. I have the ability to find out every detail of anyone’s life. I try to never do that unless I’m working a case. It’s not fair.”

“Oh.” All humor drained from Jess’s face. “That makes sense.” She bit her lip and started to look very worried. “Thank you for that.”

JJ felt terrible. This is why she was so frustrated with Will at lunch. No quick information was worth damaging this fragile new relationship.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to freak you out.”

Jess waved away the thought, but she remained silent.

“Honestly, I was too overwhelmed by everything yesterday to do more than call Will and my mom and arrange to stay longer. Didn’t even think about looking you up.” JJ continued, determined to get her sister back to her apparently bubbly self. “So now that I’ve regained control of my brain, I’m really looking forward to us all getting to know each other, in person.”

Jess finally perked up a bit.

“I don’t want to have to go through all my stuff twice, but why don’t you tell me about yourself while we drive? Shelby already knows all that.”

“Sure! I can do that.” Jess looked happy for the offer. “Well, I told you I’m two years younger than you, but I don’t think I said I’m an R.N. at a hospital in Olympia.”

“No, you didn’t. How do you like being a nurse?”

“It’s great! I love helping the patients and seeing them heal. There are still cases that don’t go the way you hope and weird hours sometimes, but overall, being a nurse is the best.”

JJ laughed. “You could have just been describing my job, too. Helping people, long hours, and no happy-ending guarantee.”

“True!”

“Are you in a particular area at the hospital?”

“I’ve moved around a little over the years, but now I’m in pediatrics. I love working with the kids.”

It made perfect sense to JJ. Her vivacity would be ideal for dealing with childhood illness and injury.

“And what do you love when you’re not at the hospital?”

“I like to hike. When I can get away, I drive to different state parks across the Northwest. I spent my high school years in the woods, and though I wasn’t very outdoorsy when I started, mandatory participation and good old-fashioned peer pressure—the friendly kind—had me making the best of it. Eventually it grows on you. Communing with nature and all that. It’s really relaxing.”

Jess happily continued to talk, drifting naturally between topics. JJ listened as she went from her favorite trails to her music and movie preferences to her friends in Olympia, and the time passed quickly. As they got closer to the school and the roads became windier and steeper, JJ started to chime back in with more than encouraging noises.

“She knows we’re coming, right? You told her about me?”

“Yep. Like I said last night, I think she was about as freaked as you were. I was just everybody’s favorite person yesterday.” Jess frowned at that thought.

“Hey, that was some major info you uncovered. I don’t envy you for the job of breaking the news to us. It was weird enough telling Will and my mom. I haven’t told anyone else yet.” JJ turned to face her sister. “Are you doing okay with all these revelations?”

“So far, so good! I’m ignoring the secrets, since they just make me angry, and focusing on the new family.”

“Good.” JJ forced a smile. She wasn’t looking forward to explaining that Jess’s newly-acquired family was not quite what she thought. She’d realized late last night that neither of them had really brought up Hank and Roz beyond their names, and she wasn’t sure what Alice had told Jess.

“So tell me a little more about this school. You went here, and Shelby works here?” Looking out into the passing forest, she tried to push the worries aside a little longer.

“We both graduated from here. Shelby came back a few years ago to join the staff. It’s home for us, and the staff is family.”

“That’s nice. And it’s a boarding school?”

“Horizon can be described a lot of different ways,” Jess hedged, “but I call it a sanctuary. It’s a bit like a cross between standard high school and sleepaway camp, with extra focus on outdoorsy activities and therapy.”

JJ blinked at that, but didn’t say anything.

“Essentially, it a place where kids go, or get sent, to get away from the crap taking over their lives and learn how to deal with it.”

“Oh. Okay.” JJ fumbled, but quickly pulled together a more coherent response. “Actually, that sounds great,” she continued, with a wistful smile. “I could have used a sanctuary like that at some points in my life.”

Jess seemed to melt from a tension that JJ hadn’t previously noticed. “Yeah, it’s a special place. And here it is.”

The car slowed and turned onto a gravel lane, past a wooden sign painted with “Mount Horizon High School.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: There will be reference to the girls' past experiences with abuse and suicide in this chapter. They will not be discussed in detail.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

JJ’s eyes were scanning, taking in every detail. There was a beautifully rustic lodge, obviously well-maintained, surrounded by forest. She could see the edges of more structures beyond, could hear distant voices mixing with bird calls. The woods made her a little nervous, but she had bigger things to worry about today.

Will appeared at her door, pulling her in for a hug as she got out of the vehicle. “All good?” he murmured.

“Yeah, it was nice,” JJ responded with a happy smile. “She’s really sweet.” She turned and looked at the building again.

“Ready?” Jess asked from the front steps. She looked like she thought JJ might run at any second.

In truth, JJ wasn’t considering that at all. She had a sister to meet. A whole new chapter of her life was unfolding. She was just feeling the weight of the moment and needed to prepare herself. She took a few deep breaths, grabbed Will’s hand, and followed.

“Yes, let’s go find Shelby.”

“I told her we’d be here around now, so—”

A dark-haired, middle-aged man stepped through the front doors, and Jess leaped at him, squealing a bright, “Peter!” He returned the hug with a laugh, but his eyes were trained on JJ.

Jess pulled back and turned to make introductions. “Guys, this is Peter Scarbrow, the Director of Horizon. Peter, this is our sister, Jennifer Jareau, and her partner, Will LaMontagne.”

“It’s great to meet you both.” He joined them on the stairs to shake hands. “Wow, the resemblance is so…”

“I know, right?” Jess said excitedly. “Come on, let’s go get her.” And she vanished into the building.

“Of course.” Peter cleared his throat and motioned them inside. “Shelby didn’t want to do this in front of the students, so my office is yours for as long as you need it.”

As they passed him, JJ noted that the man looked like the epitome of outdoorsman, casually comfortable and sturdily-built. He didn’t look like any school administrator JJ’d ever met.

When Peter paused at the front desk for a hushed conversation with the secretary, JJ and Will looked at the framed photographs lining the walls of the office. They were mostly solo portraits or groups of teenagers—former students and class pictures, she assumed—but the variety of natural backdrops made her gape in awe. She was pretty sure one was a mountain in Asia, and another looked like a South American jungle. One photo featured a terrified guy riding backwards on a running camel, another had a couple snorkelers in a cloud of tropical fish. Her eyes went wide when she found one with a wedding party skydiving in a circle over a patchwork quilt of farmland.

Amidst the National Geographic nominees were college graduation shots, military portraits, family photo Christmas cards, autographed sports photography, a woman dramatically pointing to the open sign in a bakery window, and a young man sitting on a couch next to… was that David Carradine?

“The kids that connected with this place the most like to send back letters and photos from time to time, let us know how they’re doing, share their accomplishments.” Peter stepped up beside her, looking like a proud father as he scanned the display. “Some of them have a competition going for the most interesting picture.”

“Is that Everest?” Will asked, astonished.

“They get around,” Peter chuckled. “Shall we?” He led them down a hallway off the reception area.

As they passed a large window, she came to an abrupt halt and squeezed Will’s hand. Inside the office, Jess was speaking with two blonde women. JJ’s doppelganger looked up and locked eyes with her.

Will tugged on her hand. “Come on, cher. Nearly there.”

When they entered the door, Will ushered her forward and moved to stand beside Peter.

Her twin stood slowly. “Well, this is surreal.”

“Yeah. I mean, Jess showed me pictures, but you were all tiny on her phone and… here you are, just… Wow. Shelby?”

“That’s me. Shelby Merrick. Or so I’ve been told. Who could really say anymore? And you’re Jennifer Jareau?” Shelby was rubbing her hands nervously at her sides.

JJ smiled at her twin’s sarcasm. “Yeah, but JJ. Please. I’m only Jennifer when I’m working… or in trouble.” She finished with a shrug.

“Wonderful,” a voice exclaimed from somewhere behind her. “There really are two of them. Not sure the world is ready for another Shelby.”

JJ turned at that and scanned the room.

Will was braced, like he was ready to take on anything that dared disturb her, but his watchful gaze was so full of wonder, too.

Jess clung to Peter, his arm around her shoulders, beaming with joy and struggling to hold still.

Peter looked so delighted. His eyes kept darting back and forth between the twins.

The woman sitting with Shelby had moved to Peter’s other side, holding his hand in both of hers up against her heart, with her head leaning on his shoulder. Tears were running down her cheeks.

Jess caught the direction of JJ’s eyes. “JJ, Will, this is Sophie Becker-Scarbrow. They don’t like it when we call them Mom and Dad, but they kinda are.”

Sophie laughed then, and playfully scowled at Jess while wiping her eyes. “Hi. This is so amazing. I can’t believe you girls found each other this way. After all these years.”

JJ turned back to Shelby, who was currently staring at her twin’s hands.

“We have the same hands,” she said, holding hers next to JJ’s. They marveled for a minute, then continued searching out other similarities.

“Your eyes are the same color as mine.”

“Your hair’s longer.”

“I think you might be taller than me.”

“Can I hug you?” JJ asked.

“Yeah, of course. Bring it in.”

JJ couldn’t explain her feelings in that moment. It was almost as if something shifted within her. Settled. She felt Shelby’s arms tighten as hers did, and they stayed there for a couple minutes, overwhelmed by the emotion of reuniting. When they pulled back, both women had tears spilling over.

“It’s a miracle! I can’t remember the last time I saw Shelby cry!” Jess whispered astonishedly to Sophie, who looked a little troubled by that statement. Then, she was ducking behind Peter and giggling as Shelby winged a nearby throw pillow in her direction.

Peter caught it in front of his face with a yelp, and the tension in the room released as everyone began to chuckle at the sisters’ antics.

“There’s two of them to tease now. I’ll have to up my game.” Jess called from behind Peter. “Heads up, JJ. Once we get to know each other better, you’re fair game for all my sisterly love!”

JJ was pleased by that idea and, after sharing a look with Shelby, found it easy to respond in kind. “Back at ya, kid. All my life, I was the baby. I may need to flex my new big sister muscles. Get over here,” JJ replied reaching an arm out to draw the woman into a brief, teary hug.

Unable to quell this new crying jag, JJ turned into Will’s open arms. “Sorry, guys,” She spoke into his shoulder. “I’m not usually this melodramatic, but the stress of the last—” Her head popped up, eyes wide. “24 hours! How has it only been a day since all this was uncovered? Anyways, yesterday plus the case we just finished, a major lack of sleep, and the crazy new-mom hormones. I’m all out of whack.”

“New mom!”

“Oh my gosh!”

“You have a baby?”

Sophie was beaming, while Jess was back to bouncing and gripping the arm of Shelby, who just smiled at JJ knowingly.

“Yep. Our son, Henry, is three months old,” she said, trying to dry her face delicately with a tissue from the box Peter had suddenly provided. “He’s back in Virginia. with my mom right now. Oh, I’m sorry! I got so caught up in meeting you, I forgot. Shelby, Sophie, this is Will LaMontagne, my partner.”

“F.B.I. partner?” Shelby asked cheekily as she shook his hand.

“No, ma’am. I’m a detective with D.C. Metro P.D. Pleased to meet you,” Will tapped a kiss to her knuckles.

“Oh my,” was all Shelby managed. She wasn’t blushing as hard as Jess had, but there was a devilish twinkle in her eye.

“Isn’t that the dreamiest accent?” Jess sighed comically.

JJ just laughed at them. “It is, especially when he dials up the Southern charm. Luckily immunity comes with time, or I’d never get anything done.”

“Do you have baby pictures?” Sophie asked, hopefully. She seemed unaffected by the accent, too focused on the news of Henry.

“Do we have baby pictures…” Will chuckled, “only thousands. Think JJ filled the memory card daily while she was on maternity leave, and she bought a camera to leave with the sitter, to capture anything we’d miss while working.”

“Well, let’s all sit down and break some out! Peter and I have to check in at the school in a bit, and I want to see my newest nephew! Oh, forgive me,” Sophie turned to JJ. “Jess told you the girls like to call us Mom and Dad. I love them dearly, but I’m way too young for that, so I’ll be Aunt Sophie, if you’ll let me. I just adore kids. And these girls really have become our family.”

“Don’t worry, Henry would love another honorary Aunt and Uncle. He has loads of them already with JJ’s team.” Will responded.

JJ agreed and moved to look at her sisters. “And my mom is excited to welcome you both into the family, too.” She backpedaled when she saw the twitch in Shelby’s eye. “If you ever want. I mean, you’ve got… and I’d like… well, someday… but she’d like to meet you. If it’s not…”

Shelby reached out to calm her fluttering arms. “That’d be great. I’d love to meet your mom sometime.”

Jess nodded her agreement. “Come on, sit. I want to see Henry.”

Sophie put a hand out to stop her. “We’ll need fuel for all this storytelling. Anybody want a drink? We’ve got tea, coffee—”

“Decaf,” the girls chimed in.

“—soda—”

“Diet.”

“—or juice. Hush, girls.”

“No sugar-crazed caffeine addicts here, Sophie!” Shelby exclaimed.

JJ laughed awkwardly at what seemed like an old running joke. “Decaf coffee sounds good to me. I’m not sure I could take the extra jitters right now.”

Will and the others made their requests, and Jess went with Sophie to collect them from the kitchen. “Don’t you go sharing all the important stories before we get back!” she called as they left.

Will settled into a corner of the long couch, drawing JJ down next to him, while Shelby and Peter grabbed chairs. They all recognized that Sophie and Jess would be drooling over photos, and they’d rather watch than be climbed over.

JJ carefully dove into conversation while they waited. “So, Sophie said newest nephew. Do you have more nieces and nephews, Peter?”

He looked to Shelby, who nodded tensely, before saying with the biggest, proudest grin, “We’ve got an honorary niece. Light of our lives and plague of our cookie jar.”

“My daughter, Ginny, is four. And the sneakiest cookie thief around,” Shelby explained.

JJ sat up straight. “You have a daughter! That’s wonderful. Is she here?”

“She’s with friends today. I wasn’t sure how all this was going to go.”

JJ’s excitement deflated a bit at the wariness in Shelby’s voice.

“I understand. I’ve only hit crying jag number one so far. I wouldn’t want to frighten her,” she offered with a small smile. “I hope you have pictures, too.”

Peter hopped up to grab a frame off his desk. “That’s our angel.”

JJ cooed at the picture of Shelby, Ginny, and a man, all dressed in Christmas pajamas and cuddled on a couch. It looked recent. “She’s so adorable! Is this her dad?”

“Yes, he’s in the Navy and comes back to see her whenever he’s on leave. He was here for her birthday in December,” Shelby said, pointing to the photo.

“That has to be tough.”

Shelby waved away her sister’s concern, but shifted nervously in her chair. “We tried the long-distance thing, but about six months after Ginny was born, we decided we make better friends. Co-parenting has worked out great for us, and he’s a really dedicated father. They talk every week, and he’s always sending her little things from his travels. He’s the main reason for our cookie monster. I’ve never met another four-year-old with such adventurous eating habits and love of foreign snacks. She’ll try anything if it makes him happy.”

JJ laughed. “You know, that’s another thing we have in common. Long-distance relationships.”

“What? What did we miss?” Jess demanded as she rushed in with a tray of fruit and nuts, followed by Sophie with drinks. They were quickly distributed around the coffee table, and the two claimed their seats.

“Nothing you didn’t know already. Shelby just told me about Ginny and her dad. I was saying long-distance relationships are another item for the list of similarities between us.”

“I lived in New Orleans until Henry came along. We met when JJ’s team was working a case in my district. Flew back and forth for a year,” Will explained as he pulled out his wallet and began rifling through. He removed a few photos from it, and handed them to the eager ladies. “Here’s our boy.”

Much cooing and admiration followed as they were passed around the room and Shelby pulled up some more pictures of Ginny on her phone to show JJ and Will.

“So,” Peter began as the photos and phones were returned, “I’m here as friend and family, not as a counselor, but can I get the ball rolling on the tougher stuff for you? We all seem to be dancing around some big elephants. At least decide what you girls want to talk about today or put off to later. Name your elephants. What will be difficult?”

JJ was a little confused and nervous at the suggestion. Of course, she’d anticipated some tough conversations today, especially on her side, she just hadn’t really thought of how they’d broach the subjects. She certainly hadn’t expected a guided group therapy format. She turned, speechless, to Jess and Shelby, who shared a long look.

With a strangled smile for her sister, Jess reluctantly volunteered, “Our mother. She and I have a pretty tense relationship. She and Shelby have a really bad relationship.” She set her hand lightly on JJ’s knee. “It’ll be a hard conversation for us, but we’ll answer any of your questions. I don’t know if you hope to meet her this trip. We can make that happen if you want.”

JJ took a moment to absorb that statement and think through what Jess had offered. In one of her early morning stare-at-the-ceiling sessions, she’d imagined everything she would like to say to Alice, every question she wanted answered. Jess made it sound like a meeting would be especially painful for the sisters. Honestly, she didn’t make it sound all that appealing for JJ either. Not on this short trip, anyways. JJ silently resigned herself to leaving it alone for now and finally looked up at her twin to shake her head.

Shelby gave her a tiny smile in gratitude and forged ahead with her response. “Our past. We’ve worked hard to accept and move beyond the things that happened in our childhood, but we still don’t like to talk about them. I’d rather not dive too deep into that today.”

JJ felt crushed by the implication of suffering. Combining that with Jess’s statement about Alice and her calling Horizon her sanctuary, Will restricted comments about the background check, and her technicolor mental catalog of crimes from working with the F.B.I., her mind was churning out possibilities, each worse than the last. She linked her fingers with Jess’s and addressed Shelby. “Of course! We just met an hour ago. I don’t expect you to share your entire life story with strangers.”

Will spoke up as well. “I’m here to support JJ through this, but, as long as she’s okay with it, I can take a walk or drive back to town while you share whatever you’d like. Don’t let me make you uncomfortable.”

“Thanks, Will,” Shelby exhaled in relief.

“JJ,” Peter nudged amiably. “Want to name your elephants? What’s going to be hard for you to talk about?”

“I…” JJ looked down, still holding Jess’s hand, and curled into Will side a bit tighter.

He kissed her forehead and murmured in her ear, “Be the brave woman I love, cher. It will be okay. I got you. They’ll understand.”

“The girls have lots of practice with group discussions like this. It’s one of the things we do here at Horizon. It’s okay if this feels awkward for you,” Peter explained, looking worried and a little guilty about her reaction.

“And we’re not pressuring you to talk about anything you don’t want to,” Sophie offered. “We’re thrilled just to meet you and welcome you to our family. I can’t imagine how strange it must be for all three of you to discover family you never knew about. You’re dealing with a lot of different emotions right now, but none of them need to be fear.”

JJ took a few steadying breaths and whispered, “My side of the family. I don’t… I don’t know how much Alice told you. I don’t know if she even knew anything about it. I just… We’re not done with the big revelations, and I’m afraid to hurt you.”

Shelby and Jess both looked disturbed by her phrasing, each edging towards the closest parental figure.

“Rip the band-aid off, JJ. We can handle it. Get it out there so you can stop stressing about it.” Despite her insistence, Shelby’s face was shuttering in anticipation of pain.

“Will’s the only person I’ve talked to about all this, aside from family, in over a decade… but Jess had to start all the tough conversations yesterday. Now it’s my turn. I can do it.” Steeling herself, she began, “What did Alice say when you talked to her, Jess?”

Jess cleared her throat and, with a slight tremor, recited, “She told me Dad’s name is Henry Jareau and that we have an older sister, too, but she didn’t tell me her name. She admitted that she and Dad split up the four of us when they divorced. She said we all used to live in Pennsylvania before she moved us to Washington, following some affair that didn’t last. She took her maiden name again and changed our names to match. She didn’t say why no one ever kept in touch. That’s all. I called and filled Shelby in after she got back from the hike last night. She didn’t know any more than I did.”

“Okay. I don’t know how to do this any way other than just telling the story from the beginning. Can I just…” She looked up at Will.

“What do you need, cher?”

She glanced around at all the concerned faces and bit her lip. “I feel like I’m being a five-year-old, but…” JJ got up and rearranged their placement so that she was sitting on the couch between Will’s legs, leaning back against his torso, with his arms wrapped around her.

“I will never object to holding you close, cher,” he said with a soft smile. “You good?”

She nodded and continued quietly, speaking to Shelby’s feet. “What I know of those early years is just what you’ve recapped. I have no clear memories of either of you,” she said sadly. “Our older sister, Rosalyn, was born in 1974. Six years older than me and Shelby, so she would have been about eight when they divorced. Which means she knew. She knew and never said anything.” JJ threw a hand over her mouth as her tears began again. “God, what that must have done to her. It explains so much.”

Will nuzzled a kiss above her ear and rested his chin on her shoulder.

“Dad remarried in 1986. He went by Hank, by the way. I was six, Roz was twelve. Sandy was a widow, and she had a son who was a year older than Roz. Paul, the best big brother ever.” She smiled brightly. “We got along so well, even though I was so much younger. Dad and Sandy each adopted the other’s kids, so Sandy’s always just been Mom to me. Not a step-mother. She’s the only mother I’ve ever known, and I love her so much. I’d love to introduce you, when you’re ready.”

JJ’s breathing was becoming erratic, and she felt Will running a soothing hand up and down her arm as she pressed on. “Dad died from a heart attack in 1989. I was nine and Roz was fifteen.”

Jess let out a shocked cry and leaned into Sophie.

Shelby stood abruptly and said, “I need a minute,” as she headed for the door.

“Wait! Please!” JJ begged. “Let me get this all out while I’ve got the courage. I don’t want to do this again. I’m almost done.”

Shelby turned back and looked deep in her twin’s eyes. She grimaced and nodded, moving to stand behind Peter’s chair with a hand on his shoulder in what appeared to be a death grip. His own hand came up to cover it. Her face turned to stone as she fought her emotions, but the turmoil was clear in her eyes.

JJ didn’t waste any time, continuing, “Mom was great after he died. There was never any question about it. She loved Roz and me. We were a family, and that wasn’t going to change. So we all got through it together… I found out later that Roz was a lot more rebellious than I was ever aware of. Even before Dad died. Not in really dangerous ways, I think, but I know she was partying a lot and her grades were slipping. We loved each other, but she was a lot closer to Paul than she was to me. I was the kid sister. Paul was a friend. When Paul went away to college in 1991, Roz was seventeen. I was eleven.” JJ’s voice had dropped to a whisper again. “And that November… one day, I came home from school and… and found her. She… She had… Sh-sh-she—”

JJ broke off into a sob, and turned to press her forehead to Will’s temple. He squeezed her tightly in his arms, as if promising to hold her together.

Everyone in the room was crying now. Sophie had Jess in her arms, sniffling as she rubbed circles over the weeping girl’s back. Peter was clearly distressed, but was holding onto Shelby’s hand with both of his, as if anchoring her to the room. Shelby’s face was still a stone wall but her body was contorted in agony, turned away from everyone, and when she finally looked back, her eyes were haunted behind the tears.

“I’m s-s-sorry. I’m so sorry. You have difficulties with your mom, and you thought you were getting the whole rest of your family back, but it’s just me. I’m all that’s left.”

“No.”

JJ snapped her head up to see a sorrowful, but fiercely determined Shelby standing in front of her.

“Stop it. There’s nothing to apologize for, and you are not alone. JJ, it hurts, but really, we’ve only known about them for a day. It’s kind of a case of ‘can’t lose what you never had.’” Shelby was gaining strength and conviction as she spoke. “We knew Dad had left us behind ages ago. And we never knew Rosalyn existed until yesterday. So really, we’re still coming out of this conversation in the positive. We’ve got you, Will, and Henry. And Sandy and Paul. A brother we never expected.”

“He’s got a wife and daughter, too. Erica and Katelyn.” JJ sniffed loudly as the speech worked to pull her back together. “You’re right. I hadn’t thought of it like that. I’m gaining you and Jess. And Ginny and her dad. And Peter and Sophie.”

“And there’s more than just the people in this room making up our Horizon family. We’re not going to throw them all at you today, but this place is tight. We all look out for each other,” added Jess, standing beside her sister.

“Once I tell my team about you, my B.A.U. family, they’ll be the same.”

“So we’re facing a little heartbreak now, for a lifetime of love and support. I think we can handle that,” Shelby finished.

JJ patted Will’s arms, requesting release, and jumped up to lock her sisters into a group hug. The emotional roller coaster of this weekend was proving worth it, so far. Her sisters seemed like strong, supportive, interesting women. With the painful words released, she was rapidly feeling better, though still a little guilty for shifting her burden to their shoulders. But now she could look forward to the rest of her time with them without stifling panic.

“Girls, why don’t you take a walk, show JJ the lake before it gets too dark,” Peter suggested to the sniffling trio as they stepped apart. “The students will be at dinner soon. You should be able to get around without causing too much of a stir.”

“Yeah,” JJ exhaled and wiped at her face, “a walk sounds nice. I’d love to see more of your home.”

“We’ve got a guest cabin available for you two, if you want to stay tonight. You don’t have to decide now.”

“I think I’d like to.” JJ turned to Will.

He smiled his agreement. “I’ll grab our bags and get settled in while you girls walk. Think I might need to catch a nap. I left the house before 4 a.m. Eastern today, and the jet lag’s catching up to me. Come get me when you’re ready to eat, okay?”

JJ leaned in and gingerly gave him a kiss, aware of how gross she was at the moment.

“We all look like hell.” Shelby chuckled. “Bathroom’s back this way. I’m not letting my kids see me like this.”

“Good point. I’ve got your face. Suppose I can’t let them see me a mess either. Lead the way.” JJ grabbed Jess’s hand as they left the room, dragging her along.

*****

Will turned to Peter and Sophie. “While they’re gone… Full disclosure, I know a little more than JJ. I ran a very shallow background check before I left. Just wanted to make sure she wasn’t walking into something dangerous. I told JJ I did it this morning, but we agreed that I wouldn’t tell her anything. She wants this all to be on their terms. The three of them. I respect that.”

Peter and Sophie exchanged a look. “And what do you know, Detective?”

“I found a sealed juvie record that I did not open. A little info on their education and jobs. I knew about Ginny… and I saw the articles about their step-father.”

“I see.” Sophie’s eyes had turned hard, and Will couldn’t tell if it was for his actions or the subject.

Will held up his hands in apology. “I meant no harm. I mean no harm. I’m not going to say anything to them. I just didn’t want to lie to you, since we established y’all are like their parents… or older siblings. We all just looking out for our girls. JJ means the world to me. And it’s hard not to use that resource when you got it,” he finished with a dry chuckle.

“Well, I can understand the impulse to protect. But from here on out, if there’s something you want to know, just ask,” Peter said and walked out.

Sophie followed, throwing over her shoulder, “Let’s get your bags to the cabin, Detective.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! It makes me so happy to see that there are subscribers to this story. I'd love to know what you think. I have this plot mostly mapped out, but I'm open to suggestions and adding scenes if there's something you think I should explore.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now for something a bit lighter. Also, I'm a name nerd, so please forgive the self-indulgent scene at the end of this chapter.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

Will was trying to gauge Sophie’s mood as he pulled his suitcase and carry-on from the car. She just took JJ’s go bag and silently led him down a path around the side of the lodge.

It led to a wide grassy area with picnic tables and Native American-inspired statues, surrounded by a variety of buildings on a gently-sloping hillside. The structures were connected by rock-lined paths and boardwalks that stretched into the woods beyond. Sophie pointed out the larger ones as student dorms and classroom buildings. At the back, a row of tiny cabins looked down over the campus, each featuring a carved wooden icon over the door.

“These are our guest cabins. We added them a few years ago. There are also staff dorms and cabins throughout campus and into the woods. That’s where Shelby is. Some of our staff drive in from other towns, but most live on-site, available for anything that might come up. You guys are in here tonight.”

Sophie climbed the steps of the cabin with a maple leaf sign, towards the end of the row. Inside, he found a cozy room with a queen-size bed and a small seating area. There was a door to the bathroom off the back between a narrow, curtained closet and a small in-set bookshelf. The whole space was very efficiently designed and well-maintained.

“This is beautiful.”

“Thanks, the tiny cabins were a special project for our students some years back. They worked really hard to get grant funding and did most of the construction themselves. A couple of them run a business now, designing tiny houses. It’s one of my favorite things about Horizon.” Sophie turned to look him in the eyes. “We encourage our students to find their passions and use them to drive their lives forward, out of the muck.”

Well, she didn’t seem too angry, just disapproving of him and proud of her students. He took a breath before diving in.

“Mrs. Scarbrow…”

“Sophie, please.”

“Sophie, I apologize again if I made you and your husband angry. I was just looking out for JJ. When she called me yesterday, she was so out of sorts. And that’s real unusual. My girl’s got a great head on her shoulders. Deals with the dark corners of our world every day and keeps on finding the light. It rattled me.”

She pursed her lips for a moment before she shook off her critical mood and smiled. “No, we understand. And we appreciated your honesty. I think we’re all on a bit of an emotional overload today.”

“Thank you,” he exhaled, glad his actions had not damaged this fledgling acquaintance.

“You know, Shelby was one of my first kids here. I love all my kids, but that first group will always hold a special place in my heart.” She sank into one of the chairs, motioning Will to the end of the bed across from her. “We lived through the last year of Shelby’s nightmare, felt useless as she struggled to make it out the other side. And then Jess came to us towards the end. You read the articles. We were there for all the aftershocks, the healing. As a cop, you’ll have seen similar situations before. But you have the benefit of being able to walk away when a case is closed. Typing it all up in neat, numbered files and moving on to the next. We live in the wake of the storm. Picking up the pieces and helping these kids find their way again. We get invested. And sometimes, these kids become family. So, I understand your actions, but I hope you’ll understand our instinct to protect Shelby and Jess.”

He recognized her unwavering determination to stand as a shield against any threats to her family and the same fierce spirit he saw in JJ on a regular basis.

“Yes, ma’am, I do.”

“Good.” She rose and clapped him on the shoulder on the way to the door. “Get some rest. We’ll send someone to get you before you miss dinner.”

*****

Back at the lodge, the girls cleaned up and set out for the lake in resolutely brighter spirits.

Jess stopped on the steps and turned back to face her sisters, jarring momentarily at the sight of them side-by-side. “We’ve got about an hour, if we want to eat but avoid most of the students. I’m declaring this a trauma-free hour. Let’s just admire nature and talk about silly things.”

At their grateful nods, she continued, “I’ll start with some twin-verification questions!”

“What the hell would those be?” Shelby gave her sister a look that questioned her sanity.

“I’ll ask a question. You both answer, and we’ll see if your answers match. You share DNA, let’s test nature versus nurture,” Jess pleaded. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“Why not,” JJ shrugged.

Shelby just waved a hand in acceptance.

“Okay! First up, favorite color?”

“Green.” “Green.” Both girls answered simultaneously, and exchanged a smile.

“Dogs or cats?

“Neither.” “Neither.”

“I’m not home enough,” JJ was quick to explain. Shelby agreed.

“Favorite ice cream flavor?”

“Vanilla.” “Vanilla.”

“No! Chocolate is the only acceptable answer,” Jess cried.

JJ defended their choice. “Chocolate is great, too, but vanilla is the perfect ice cream. It’s just right on its own for everyday enjoyment, and—”

“And it’s the perfect base for toppings when you want a little something special.” Shelby jumped in.

JJ smiled at her. “Exactly. No fight for taste dominance.”

“Simple harmonious deliciousness,” Shelby finished.

Jess stared at them in disbelieving wonder. “Wow, we’ve already reached the point of twin-sync where you’re finishing each other’s sentences?”

JJ narrowed her eyes at Jess, secretly quite amused. “Shut up. Next question.”

“Favorite movie?”

“ _Clueless_. I can recite almost the whole movie.” JJ smiled, but hid her face in her hands.

“I saw that one, it’s good. But mine’s _Addams Family Values_.” At JJ’s questioning look, Shelby shrugged. “I didn’t see it ‘til college, but… I could relate.”

Jess broke into giggles.

JJ gave her a wary look. “To which character?”

Shelby just smiled. “I swear, it’s really funny.”

“Favorite sport?” Jess continued.

“Soccer.” “Soccer.”

“Peter got me on the team at a prep school down the lake senior year. I got a full ride to Western Washington University out of it.” Shelby grinned at the memory.

“Nice, we’ll have to play sometime! I got an athletic scholarship to University of Pittsburgh, but I transferred to Georgetown my junior year, and I didn’t play there.”

“Which conveniently brings us to… college major?” Jess was clearly enjoying this.

“I started out a Media & Professional Communication major with an Admin of Justice minor at Pitt, but switched it around and graduated Georgetown with a Sociology BA, Journalism and Government double minor.”

“Overachieve much?” Shelby smirked. “Kinesiology - Sport Psychology major and Sociology minor. I got a Graduate Certificate in Mental Health Recovery and Trauma-Informed Care at San Diego State before I came back to work at Horizon.”

“I did a Masters in Conflict Resolution at Georgetown before I joined the F.B.I.”

“More twin-sync proof! Sports, sociology and saving people.”

“You save people, too, Jess. You went the medical route. JJ picked government, and I chose psychology.”

They all considered that for a minute.

“Favorite place you’ve traveled?” Jess asked as they reached the lake.

“Well, that’s not fair.” Shelby objected. “JJ’s job takes her all over the country. She’s been way more places than I have.”

“That’s probably true, but you traveled with the team,” Jess countered.

“Western Washington soccer team?” JJ asked.

“Well, yes, we traveled some, but she means after college. I got a sports psychology internship with the Washington Freedom women’s soccer team. I got to travel with them for games. But we didn’t get to do a ton of sightseeing while we were there.”

“Seriously? You worked with Abby Wambach and Mia Hamm? That’s so awesome. What a great internship!” JJ was rolling in jealousy until something clicked in her brain. “Wait, after college. 2002?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Summer 2002, I took an internship at the F.B.I. Field Office in Seattle.”

“No way! You guys flip-flopped states? Weird.”

They settled along the edge of the dock, swinging their feet as Jess continued to comb through their likes and dislikes. No tears were shed, and they were able to relax until Sophie appeared with a camera. She made the trio pose with the fading sunset and reminded them, if they wanted to eat, they’d better get back to the lodge.

*****

When JJ returned to fetch Will for dinner, he finally explained the contents of the big suitcase.

“On the phone with Sandy last night, she thought it’d be a good idea to bring along some photos to share, in case you wished you had them. So I grabbed the albums. We got the ones of Henry, of course, but I found a few of you and your family, and I gathered up some pictures of the team. You can share as much or as little as you want.”

“Will, that’s perfect!” She kissed him in thanks. “I’ll mention them at dinner.”

The news was met with enthusiasm.

“Oh, that’s wonderful! Thanks, Will!” Jess exclaimed. “I don’t have any of my things here, but Shelby, you have some albums, right? At least of Ginny.”

“I do. I can grab them later.”

After the students were in their dorms for the night, the new family group all sat around the lodge fireplace with tea and hot chocolate, passing albums between them and sharing the stories behind the photos.

“I just can’t get over how cute Henry is. And I can see some resemblance to his namesake in these photos, too. I forgot to ask. Does he have a middle name?” Sophie asked.

“He’s Henry William. In memory of both our pops,” Will answered with a soft smile.

“Shelby, these pictures of Ginny are precious.” JJ said absently as she flipped over another page. Then she stopped midway. “Huh. You know, speaking of names, it’s odd… Mom and Paul usually call me Jen, but Roz always called me Jenny. Her name is so close to mine. How’d you decide on it?”

Shelby froze with her mug halfway to her lips. “Oh!” Voice full of awe, she could only say, “Closer than you know. Jennifer.”

“Oh, that’s so freaky. I can’t believe we didn’t even think about it before!” Jess sounded excited.

“What?” JJ looked to the others around the room, confused.

As the girls were too amazed to answer, Sophie volunteered, “Her full name is Genevieve Rosemary.”

“Genevieve Rosemary?” JJ grabbed for Will’s hand.

“Yeah. I’d always loved the name Genevieve. And her dad’s sister’s name is Mary, but I didn’t like it by itself. I picked Rosemary instead,” Shelby whispered.

Jess’s eyes went wide. “I remember when we were little, you had one doll that you carried with you everywhere. For years. I always wanted to play with her, but you wouldn’t let anyone else touch her. She was named Rosie.”

They all absorbed that in stunned silence until JJ exclaimed, “Oh! Roz gave me a baby doll she had named Francesca. But she told me to call her Chessie.” JJ choked up, staring into the flames, flashing through recovered memories.

“Shelby. Wasn’t there… ‘Til you were like eight or nine, you wouldn’t go to sleep at night without your stuffed bear. Wasn’t it named Gina…? Or Gem?”

Shelby gasped. “Gemmi Bear…” She stifled a sob and quickly walked out of the room.

JJ began to take great gulping breaths. “I had a teddy bear named Shelly Bean. Same thing, I wouldn’t sleep unless I was holding her. I’ve got to… excuse me.” She followed Shelby’s path out.

Will moved to get up, but Peter held a hand up to stop him. “Let them work it out. They’ll be fine.”

He considered for a few moments, but then nodded and slid back. The four of them went back to flipping through albums as the logs crackled in the hearth, sipping their drinks.

A few minutes later, Will broke the silence with a revelation of his own. “If Henry had been a girl, we’d picked the name Rochelle Andrea LaMontagne. JJ insisted. Andrea for Sandy, whose full name is Alexandria. She wanted something to honor Rosalyn but didn’t feel right using her exact name. The only other Ro- name she considered was Rochelle. She liked the nickname Chelle.”

*****

Fifteen minutes later, breathing easier after a good cry on the porch, JJ found Shelby sitting on the floor of the kitchen eating chocolate ice cream out of the carton. She didn’t look up, just held out a spoon.

“So. We transferred our love for a missing twin onto teddy bears loosely named after candy… and us,” JJ chuckled as she sat down and scooped a bite.

“You, too?” Shelby’s jaw dropped.

“Oh, yeah. Nice to see you again, Shelly Bean.”

Shelby snorted. “I’ve missed you, Gemmi Bear.”

They ate in silence for a minute before Shelby asked, “Do you think that was our idea or theirs? A way to explain away our missing people. ‘Oh baby, there is no real Jennifer; that’s your imaginary friend.’” Her voice dripped with bitterness.

“I don’t know,” JJ sighed. “We about done with the emotional upheavals for the day, you think?”

“Man, I hope so. I’m currently aiming for the mother of all sugar crashes to knock me out for the night.”

A few spoonfuls later, JJ sighed again. “I miss Henry. The case in Olympia, where I met Jess, was my first case back from maternity leave. I’ve never been away from him so long before. Yet another emotion to pile on this decidedly traumatic weekend.”

“At least your little man isn’t talking yet. I’m glad Ginny’s staying overnight in town again. I love her so much, but I can’t deal with the four-year-old inquisition tonight. ‘Why, Mommy? Why?’” Shelby laughed. “Do you… uh… want to meet her tomorrow?”

JJ turned to her with a huge grin. “Of course! I’d love to.”

“Well, I called Gracie earlier, and I’m going to pick Ginny up around breakfast, so we better get some sleep. You have no idea yet, the energy packed into such a tiny human.”

“Looking forward to it.” JJ stood and washed her spoon. “Better go find Will.”

“Have a good night, JJ.”

Shelby waited until JJ was at the door before calling out, “Just remember to behave yourselves, a teenager will be doing the laundry when you leave!”

JJ looked back, scandalized and blushing deeply, then scurried out the door.

Shelby’s smirk faded as she took another bite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading these stories concurrently, switch to Shaken and Stirred, Chapter 4 for the rest of Shelby's evening.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

Will eased JJ back against the door for a long, slow kiss once they entered the guest cabin and removed their coats. She breathed him in and felt a little of the day’s tension dissipate.

“I like your family, cher.” He moved to nuzzle at her neck, fingers gliding along her sides.

“Me, too. The more I talk to them the more comfortable I feel.” As she relaxed, her mind drifted back through the day’s conversations.

“That’s good. And how are you feeling now?” His voice lowered as he switched sides and began to nibble on her earlobe.

“About?” There were so many emotions tangled in her brain, she really couldn’t pin one down unless he was more specific.

Will stopped, leaning his forehead against the door for a moment before stepping back. “About anything. The girls, your mom, Henry—"

“Oh, my baby. I really need to call tomorrow morning. It’s way too late now. Suppose I knew this was coming, but I don’t like being away from him for so long.” She began to chew on her lip.

“We’ll be sure to find time in the morning to call.” He took her hand and led her over to sit at the edge of the bed, kneeling down to take off her shoes. “And everything else?”

“Well, there’s no simple answer for that. Peter and Sophie seem great. That surprise group therapy session really threw me for a loop. Jess mentioned therapy was part of the program here, but geez. I haven’t been in therapy since R— Since junior high.”

“Cher…” He paused the foot massage he’d begun to look up into her eyes.

She looked away and rolled right past the slip. “And F.B.I. psych evals, of course. No escaping those.” Scooting back to lean against the headboard, she moved onto her next thought, staring at her hands. “Jess is a hoot, a bit like a less brightly-colored and eccentric Penelope. She’s so light-hearted and goofy, but then super caring and insightful at random moments. I can tell she’s diving in head-first, embracing me whole-heartedly, but she’s definitely papering over her more painful thoughts on all this. And Shelby…”

Will sat on the bed and took off his own shoes before resuming her foot massage. “Your twin’s a tough nut.”

“Yeah. I like her. She’s kind and sarcastic and strong. We seem to have a lot of interests in common. I see so much of myself in her, but then we’ve got some pretty big differences, too.” She paused. “I’ve got a few things I bury deep down, but I don’t think I’m very closed off in general. Am I?”

“No, cher. You’re pretty open. You guard your personal privacy in some situations, like about us in the beginning, but you’ve got an open heart and personality most times.” He kissed her ankle and switched to her other foot.

“I think she’s got layers upon layers of walls and emotional armor around her heart normally, but this situation is throwing bombs at them. I got the sense that they were all surprised how quickly she’s accepting me. She and Jess didn’t say anything about their childhood traumas, but it must run extra deep for Shelby. And that kills me. I mean, my childhood was no picnic,” she had to clear her throat before continuing, “had some major losses, but I had such supportive family to get me through it. Reading between the lines, theirs was awful, and they didn’t have that support until they came here.”

She finally looked up. Will’s lips had formed a hard, thin line, and he was staring at a spot on the wall as he nodded.

“Will, I’ve got this entire B.A.U. database of crimes spinning in my brain, linking things they’ve said, looking for a match. They said they don’t want to talk about it yet, and I respect that, but since they helped me get through telling them about Roz and Dad, it kills me not to be able to help them in return.”

He remained tensely silent for a minute before asking, “And Alice?”

“Well, I haven’t met her yet, have I?” Her hands started to wave as she spoke. “And they aren’t talking about her. I mean, I know they offered, but after everything they did and didn’t say about their childhood, I couldn’t push it. Not yet. And anyways, I’m getting a really bad feeling about her from the girls. Maybe I shouldn’t want to meet her. What do you think?”

“Cher…” He kissed her other ankle and set the foot down. “I think you should follow your gut. You know what’s right for you. It doesn’t matter what I think about this.”

Her eyes narrowed as she finally focused on his face. “God, you’re a terrible liar, Will.” She pulled her legs back to hug her knees. “You know, don’t you? You know what happened to them.”

He rubbed a hand over his hair. “Nothing specific, but I have a good idea.”

“Dammit, Will!” Suddenly full of energy, she jumped off the bed to pace.

“You asked me not to tell you. You wanted to learn about your sisters in their own words, in their own time.”

“But you’re sitting here with that knowledge, and we can’t really talk about this because you’re walking on eggshells. If you wouldn’t have researched my family, then this wouldn’t be a problem.”

“I was worried.” He snapped, standing now to go look out the window. “You called me, out of the blue, sounding terrified and confused. That’s not my JJ. My JJ is strong and confident and on top of things—"

“That’s not fair. You’re setting me up to fail if that’s what you think. I’m not perfect, Will.” Her heart ached at the possibility of disappointing someone she loved.

“I know that,” He turned back to hold her gaze. “I’m just saying you were really, jarringly different on that call. And I was 3000 miles away, I couldn’t see your face, read what was really going on. Today was tough, but my resilient, self-assured girl is still here. Talking to you in those minutes when you were so messed up really threw me.” He started to do a little pacing of his own, moving towards the back of the room. “And the whole thing was just too bizarre to believe. A chance meeting during a case and suddenly you’re driving off into the mountains to meet family you never heard of before that day?”

He stopped in front of her and reached for her hands. “JJ, our jobs train us to be alert to suspicious situations. Tell me that doesn’t clang a lot of bells for you.”

Without yesterday’s fog of confusion, JJ’s mind could see the truth in his words. When he put it like that, it did sound a bit like a potential backstory for a case.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“And you were spinning with the discovery, but I could hear the raw hope in your voice. You were taking it all on her word. What kind of cop would I be, what kind of partner would I be, if I didn’t look out for you when you couldn’t look out for yourself?”

Indignant, she pulled her hands away and put them on her hips. “I _can_ look out for myself, Will. I would have gotten there once the shock wore off.”

“But you didn’t,” he pleaded. “You would have eventually, but this all happened so fast, you didn’t have time to come around. You never mentioned looking into anything before you met me at the airport. Did you?”

With that blunt challenge, she deflated, placing a hand over her eyes. “No, I didn’t. I didn’t even think about it until you told me what you did over lunch and Jess told me in the car that she Googled me.”

“She did?”

JJ looked up and chuckled dryly. “Yeah, told me she looked up ‘Jennifer Jareau F.B.I.’ I was terrified for a minute about what she might have seen. She’s so bright, innocent-seeming, and everything we deal with is so dark… But she said she just watched a few clips of my press conferences.” With a swell of emotion, she grinned and added, “She said I was commanding and compassionate.”

“Damn right.”

She saw pride and love in his eyes.

“Look, I get it, Will. I understand why you did the background check. But now, I don’t know what to do,” she continued calmly. “You know things about my family they don’t want me to know yet. And I want to be able to help them, but I’m not going to force them to tell me anything that major when we’ve only known each other a few hours.” She sank down onto the bed again. “God, this is all going so fast. So, here I am, tearing myself in two, trying not to ask you for the info.”

“I’m sorry, cher. I shouldn’t have told you what I did.” Will took a seat next to her and held her hand.

“No. Then you would’ve been hiding it from me, and I would’ve been furious about that. No, this whole situation just sucks. And I feel like Alice is the one with all the answers, but she’s the one I can’t confront, can’t question.”

“The girls did offer to arrange a meeting for you.”

“Yeah, but didn’t you see their faces? That was the last thing they really wanted.”

They sat in heavy silence as JJ worked through her feelings about Alice.

At last, she decided, “We’ll get there. If Alice really is a potential minefield, then I’d rather not deal with her on this trip. Despite the tough conversations, I’ve enjoyed getting to know my sisters so far. I want this to be a good experience. For all of us. If they still won’t bring it up, I’ll ask later.”

“Sounds good, cher. And what do you want me to do?”

JJ didn’t need to think about that. “Nothing. Please just keep it to yourself.” She softened her words with a gentle squeeze of his hand.

“Okay.” Will sighed, “I’m exhausted. Can we call it quits for tonight?”

Relieved to drop the subject, JJ kissed him briefly. “Absolutely. I’m going to jump in the shower.”

She stood and rummaged through her go bag while Will turned down the bed and moved to open his suitcase.

As she left the room, she looked back over her shoulder and offered, “It looks a little tight, but… you too tired to join me?”

His smile glowed. “Never. I love you, cher.”

“I love you, too. Come on.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

“Rise and shine, sleepyheads!”

JJ and Will groaned at the loud, persistent knocking on the door to their cabin.

“Seriously, Jess?” JJ yelled from beneath her pillow.

“Come on, get up. I’m coming back in fifteen minutes with a surprise, and you better be decent!”

JJ sat up at that. “Oh, shoot! Will, we have to get up.” She shook his shoulder. “Shelby said Ginny would be back by breakfast.”

“Okay, cher. All right.” He rolled over, rubbing his eyes. “Why’s breakfast so early?”

“Early? It’s 10:00 in Virginia. We’re all messed up.”

“Right. You go first so you know you’ll be ready.”

“Thanks!” JJ raced off to complete her morning routine.

True to her word, Jess was knocking again fifteen minutes later as Will came out of the bathroom zipping up a sweatshirt and JJ was brushing her hair into a ponytail.

Through the door, they could hear, “Why we at de guest cabins, Aunty Jess?”

JJ hurried to the door, eager to meet the smallest member of her rapidly-expanding family. Even more clearly in-person than in the photos albums, JJ could see the girl was a near-copy of the twins, except for her eye color and her hair, which had a relaxed curl and slightly darker shade.

She looked down into astonished hazel eyes and smiled warmly. “Hi, Ginny!”

“Mommy? How’d you get here ‘fore me? We runned de whole way!”

JJ grinned wider. With her hair pulled back, it wasn’t immediately obvious that she wasn’t her sister. She took a moment to revel in the oddness of sharing a face, and forgot to respond right away.

Jess answered for her in a serious voice. “Ginny, this isn’t your mom.”

“Yes, she is!”

“Nope.” Jess barely succeeded in containing her amusement.

The little girl narrowed her eyes and glared at JJ.

“Why you have my Mommy’s face?” she demanded.

“Well, sweetheart,” JJ began, kneeling down, “that’s because your mommy is my twin sister. I’m your Aunt JJ.”

Ginny wasn’t convinced and was eyeing her very suspiciously. Then, she saw Will standing behind JJ.

She put her little hands on her hips with all the authority a four-year-old could muster.

“Who are you?”

“This is your Uncle Will,” Jess introduced.

“Hello, sugar. It’s so very nice to meet you.”

Even the smallest blonde of the bunch was taken in by his Southern charm. “You talk funny,” she said with an enchanted smile, momentarily forgetting the imposter before her.

“Genevieve!” Shelby snapped from the path, where she was approaching quietly with Peter and Sophie. “That was rude.” She stopped beside the stairs.

Ginny turned at her voice, and spent the next minute ping-ponging back and forth between the sisters.

Sophie took some pictures to capture the moment, as the adults couldn’t contain their laughter at Ginny’s bewilderment. Jess was giggling like a hyena. It was not appreciated.

“Mommy! Stop laughing! Who is dat? Why does she look like you?” she demanded, stomping over to her mother.

“Baby, you know my sister, Jess. This is my sister, JJ. She looks the same as Mommy because we are twins. Do you know what that means?”

Ginny just scrunched up her face as she thought about it, then shook her head.

“That means we are sisters who were both in our mommy’s tummy at the same time and born on the same day. And we’re identical twins, so we look the same.”

The girl thought about it for a minute and then shrugged. “Okay. Can we go play now?”

JJ mirrored her twin’s look as they both chuckled at the sudden acceptance and then at each other.

Jess jumped back into the conversation while executing a tickle attack on her niece. “We thought we might spend the morning letting Ginny show you her favorite haunts around here.”

“I’m not a ghost, Aunty Jess,” Ginny told her, rolling her eyes and batting away her aunt’s hands.

“No, you’re a cookie monster!” Jess smiled at her and continued talking to JJ. “I have to head back to Olympia after lunch. I’m on the evening shift today. So, let’s get you guys some breakfast and have this gal plan your tour.”

JJ and Will agreed, grabbing their jackets and heading out.

“So, what are we doing today Ginny?” JJ asked the little girl hopping along the path in front of them. It had snowed overnight, though not enough to fully cover the grass, and Ginny was playfully jumping between the recent footprints.

“We gonna see my house and where I go to school, and we gonna go in de canoes and go hiking and do de rope course and de optical course—"

“Ginny,” her mother interrupted, “you need to ask if what you choose is okay with Aunty JJ and Uncle Will. They might not have done some of these things before.”

Ginny stopped skipping and turned to her aunt, with such a look of disgusted disbelief that Sophie snorted in laughter.

“You never been in a canoe?”

“I have, but it’s been a while.” JJ felt the need to defend her skills. “I can row just fine, but you might need to steer.”

In a regal tone, she patiently explained, “I don’t steer, I sit in de middle. Like Kia Patrick.”

Peter snickered at that and scooped her up over his shoulder. “She means Cleopatra. Sorry, Shel.” He looked bashfully over at her.

“You better quit giving her delusions of grandeur, Peter, or I’m sending her to you next time she gets in trouble.” Shelby raised a derisive eyebrow at him.

“Yes, ma’am.” He swung a giggling Ginny around until she was sitting on his shoulders. “We better go prep all the gear, Kia. We’ll get everything ready for when they’re done eating.”

“I’ll help,” Jess volunteered.

Ginny cheered and waved goodbye as they hurried off to the supply sheds.

“Oh, Shelby, she’s fantastic!” JJ was beaming as they continued on towards the cafeteria.

“Almost exactly like I pictured a little girl of ours could be, before we learned about Henry,” Will raised their linked hands to his lips and looked softly into JJ eyes.

“Yes, well,” Shelby cleared her throat, “I think she’s pretty special.”

“From that list of tour activities, I’m guessing she’s an outdoorsy kid,” JJ observed.

“Definitely. There have been downsides to her being the only toddler around the school—she’s a little too grown-up for her age, and everybody dotes on her and spoils her like crazy—”

“Especially Peter,” Sophie laughed.

“—but she loves it here and thrives on all the attention. We’ve been so lucky.”

“Does she really do rope and obstacle courses? That’s what she meant, right?” Will asked.

“Oh, yeah. She started out as the best cheerleader you’d ever wish for, but once she was old enough to get jealous of all the older kids, she was determined to do it, too.” Shelby sighed. “Peter put together the ‘Ginny Run’ version of the obstacle course for her. She’s even got her own mini harness for the ropes. She just climbs the net, but she likes to dive off when she gets to the top. Scared me to death the first time she did that.” She shuddered at the memory.

Will laughed, “Mini daredevil?”

“There is no fear in that child,” Sophie answered. “Between Peter and her daddy, she’ll be paragliding and shooting rapids by the time she enters first grade.”

*****

It was unanimously agreed that the overnight snow, though quickly melting, meant it was too cold for a canoe race, much to Ginny’s disappointment. To appease their tiny tour guide, JJ and Will agreed to try everything that could be safely accomplished in the current weather, even if they were scared. Little did they know the range of offerings at Horizon.

Ginny started them at the “Ginny Run” obstacle course for a warm-up. The standard size run was closed for the winter, as too many of the bigger obstacles would be dangerous if icy, but Ginny’s obstacles were smaller and easier to clear. After walking around and explaining each obstacle while Peter cleared the path of any tripping hazards or icy buildup, Ginny demonstrated. And did so with ease.

Everyone cheered as she maneuvered the graduated stump steps with barely a hesitation and hopped through the pool-noodle tire run without stumbling.

JJ and Will made a good show of fun, competitive spirit, arguing over who would be faster. They struggled with the hula hoop slalom, as they had to slow down to fit themselves through the hoops without detaching them from the trees, but both impressed the girl overall, and she declared them ready for the ropes course.

As they hiked deeper into the woods, JJ danced around Will on the path, taunting the “city boy” about his lack of nature experience. Taken in by their playful drama, Ginny felt compelled to reassure her new friend that he could do it and scolded her aunt.

“Teasing’s not nice, Aunty JJ.”

A little humbled by the just reprimand of a preschooler, JJ said, “You’re right, Ginny. I’m sorry for teasing you, Will. I’m sure you’ll do great.”

“Thanks. And thanks for having my back, sugar.” Will held his hand out for a high five and then knelt down to offer her a piggyback ride. “Hop on!”

The others muffled laughs into sleeves and under coughs.

While the concept of a ropes course was nothing new to JJ and Will, they were surprised by the variety, intensity and sheer height of the course as it came into view.

“This was another senior project a couple years ago. They amped up our ropes course with all kinds of new ideas. The kid that led the group organizing the new course now has an engineering internship with a major construction company. She had a lot of fun with this one.” Sophie’s face glowed with pride.

The entire course looked like a _Swiss Family Robinson_ dream. Or nightmare. An intricate network of ropes and wooden obstacles hung throughout the clearing and extended into the forest beyond.

“It’s impressive. So, all your seniors do things like this?” JJ asked. “Seems like you would have taken over half the mountain by now.”

“Not everyone chooses something with a big visual footprint like this, but some do. Like I told Will yesterday, the guest cabins were a group effort one year. One kid had goals to works in the financial world, so they worked on getting the grant funding, budgeting the project, etc. A few more were intending to work in construction, so they did most of the building themselves. Once they were built, a few more students worked to furnish and decorate them. It’s about everyone exploring their strengths and interests. This ropes course was mostly the brainchild of a few students interested in adventure sports, a couple devoted to forestry management, the engineer, and another accounting-bound kid. Sometimes kids do more solo projects, but there is always an element of cooperative learning.”

“What did y’all pick?” Will asked the girls.

“I interned with the school nurse and the town doctor. And I worked towards a bunch of basic medical certifications, was the designated medic on some of our longer hikes.”

“The grand senior projects didn’t really get implemented ‘til after I graduated, but Peter helped me get on the soccer team at the prep school down the lake senior year.” Shelby shrugged. “And I did some extra time with the head shrink, learning why she did what she did, sharing my particular brand of shock therapy with my fellow detainees when asked. Led into my sports psychology major, though it wasn’t fully planned out that way.”

JJ frowned. Since breakfast, Shelby had grown steadily more sarcastic. Harsher comments and sharper looks. Even when her words were kind, her voice had more of an edge. Jess was trying to be subtle about it, but she definitely had been keeping a wary eye on her while distracting Ginny. And Peter had been trading concerned looks with Sophie.

Peter clapped his hands together and changed the subject. “So, we’re obviously not doing the whole course in this weather, but we can do a small chunk of it. We’re going to start here with the net climb, then the three-rope bridge across to the platform over there. Then, Sophie will help you switch to the new line for a Tyrolean crossing over the creek bed to the next platform where I’ll switch you to the zipline back across the creek to Shelby at the last platform. Any questions?”

Will raised his hand. “What’s a Tyrolean crossing?”

“A test,” Jess began, dramatically, “of strength and determination—"

“And fear of heights.” Shelby finished, with a disdainful look at the obstacle.

“I’ll demonstrate when I go across to my post, but it’s basically hanging from a pulley line as you wheel yourself hand-over-hand across an open space. The one on the course isn’t bad, only 20 feet up and about 20 yards across,” Peter reassured them.

“And it’s a permanent installation.” Shelby continued while she handed out gear from a large bag. “We sometimes use them while hiking with the kids, in order to cross the river, but we have to set them up on the fly there. And they’re usually a longer distance and twice as high. Over rapids.”

Shelby’s explanation did little to calm JJ’s nerves.

“Well, that sounds fun.” She eyed the ropes distractedly as Jess helped her into a harness.

“It scares a lot of the kids, but after my first time, I thought it was pretty great,” Jess offered.

“Dey won’t let me try. ‘Cause of science.”

Ginny’s mournful comment had JJ and Will confused, but Peter just laughed and plucked the girl off of Will’s back, tossing her into the air playfully before attending to his own gear.

“That’s because you’re so cute and tiny, you’d float in the air like a feather and wouldn’t come down. You just keep on growing and someday you can try it.”

“I always wanted to try ziplining. I read about a place in the Ozarks I meant to check out when I was still in Louisiana.” Will stepped into the harness that Sophie offered.

“They have those in Virginia, too. I’ve never done it.”

“This is no canopy tour, but it’ll give you a quick taste,” Peter patted a hand on JJ’s back.

“Okay, let’s do this,” Will said, buckling his helmet. “I’ll go first, but I think I need a good luck kiss from the bravest girl here. Your Aunty JJ is pretty brave, but she’s looking a little nervous right now. Could you do me the honor, Miss Ginny?”

“I’m not da bravest. Mommy’s da bravest.”

“Oh. Are you sure?”

“Mmhmm.” Her enthusiastic nod displayed complete confidence.

“Well, how ‘bout it, Shelby? Give a guy some luck?”

JJ was amused by his antics until Shelby’s voice slipped into a low, sultry response of, “Sure thing,” as she leaned in slowly to kiss his cheek.

Once again, Peter clapped. “All right, Sophie and Shelby are going straight to their posts, but you can watch me demonstrate the first three obstacles. Ginny, help your aunty and uncle out. What are the most important rules of the ropes course?”

The girl stood at attention next to him and dutifully recited, “Number one - Safety first; check your gear and den check your partner’s gear.”

“Good girl! And number two?”

“Everybody helps; if you on da ground, you a cheerleader.” She grinned at them. “I’m da best cheerleader.”

“You sure are, munchkin. How about number three?”

“Have fun!”

“That’s right. Let’s go, gang.”

Sophie climbed to her platform as Jess hooked Peter to the safety line. With a quick look around, Peter was off, scaling the net like a monkey. Ginny and Shelby clapped and called out encouragements that Peter clearly didn’t need and elbowed JJ and Will into participating. As he went along, Peter called down explanations of what he was doing. The whole thing looked simple enough.

When Peter made it across the creek in what seemed like seconds, they all turned to Will.

“All right, show us what you got. See you at the finish line, Will.” With that, Shelby sauntered off.

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied and turned to Jess for a gear check. Then, he looked up at JJ. “You worried, cher?”

“No, I’m fine.”

In fact, she wasn’t particularly looking forward to the last two obstacles, but more of her attention was currently on her twin’s odd behavior. Why the personality shift? Was this her more comfortable self, and yesterday a product of nerves and stress, or vice versa? If she was stressed today, then why? Everything seemed to be going well.

She was pulled back into the present when Will leaned in for a sweet kiss.

“Good luck for both of us.”

“Go, Uncle Will, go!” Ginny cheered as he began.

He was certainly less technically impressive, but he moved through the obstacles fairly quickly and with little difficulty. With an enthusiastic Tarzan yell, he slid down the zipline and was caught and steadied by Shelby’s waiting arms. Which lingered a bit too familiarly for JJ’s liking as Shelby helped him detach the lines. When Shelby gave Will a decidedly predatory smile, JJ had had enough.

“What the h—” JJ caught herself, remembering the tiny audience currently running in circles and applauding her uncle.

Jess sighed and murmured, “I swear she doesn’t mean anything by it. Probably doesn’t realize she’s doing it. I’ll talk to her.”

JJ gave her a questioning look, but Jess didn’t say anything further as she connected JJ’s harness to the safety line.

No longer in a competitive frame of mind, JJ worked through each obstacle carefully, struggling to keep her mind on task. At each platform, she was reassured quietly that Shelby’s behavior was abnormal and would be addressed.

Her descent on the zipline startled a scream from her throat, but the adrenaline rush was exhilarating, and Will caught her at the bottom with another kiss, praising her performance.

“Well, you won’t win any medals, but that was a solid first run,” Shelby smirked as she moved out of the way so they could climb down the ladder.

Once they were on the ground and swarmed by their adoring spectators, Peter came down the line. JJ glanced back up to see a hushed argument taking place. Eventually, Shelby put her hands over her face for a moment while he hugged her, and then she executed a full-body shake, not unlike a wet dog, and exhaled loudly. When she descended the ladder, her face was much brighter.

With an apologetic smile to JJ, she scooped up her daughter and asked cheerfully, “What did you think, baby? Do they pass?”

“Yep, dey get gold stars!”

Sophie squeezed JJ’s shoulder as she passed and motioned them down the trail. “I don’t know about you guys, but I need to warm up by the fireplace before we continue Ginny’s tour. Who’s with me?”

“Me! Can we have cookies for a snack, Aunty Sophie?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you're enjoying the story.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

“Do you have a computer with internet and a webcam here?” JJ asked Sophie as they all emerged from the woods.

“Yes, Peter’s office computer has a webcam.”

“Would you mind if I used it to call home? I’m having mommy withdrawals. Major separation anxiety. This is my first case away since he was born.” JJ wasn’t joking. On the hike back, she had been hearing bird calls and thinking her baby was crying.

“Of course, sweetheart. Come on, we’ll get you set up.” Sophie diverted her from the group towards the main lodge.

Jess overheard the exchange and was thrilled by the early opportunity to meet the baby. “You’re calling Henry? Can we say hi? Please!”

“Sure, you can.” JJ smiled, but continued carefully, “My mom’s watching him, though. Is that okay? Are you ready to meet her, too?”

Jess bit her lip and looked to Shelby, who only shrugged as she approached.

“Yeah, from everything you’ve said, she sounds great.”

Wary of her sister’s mood after the ropes course, JJ considered a moment before agreeing.

“Okay, I’ll give her a quick call and tell her to turn on the computer. By the time you guys get the gear put away and warm up in the lodge, we should be good to go. Give me 30 minutes?”

“Thank you!” Jess hugged her fiercely as everyone else moved towards the sheds. “Can we all meet him, or will that freak him out?”

“It should be all right if we’re not too loud. Maybe one or two on camera at a time. He’s not going to know much of what’s going on anyways. We’ve only tried out video calls a couple times.”

“Okay, we’ll be good, I promise. Ginny! You want to meet your cousin, Henry?” She raced off to catch up to the others.

JJ just chuckled. “I think Ginny got her aunt’s energy.”

“Oh, that’s for sure.” Sophie moved up the steps. “I’ll get the office set up while you call your mom.”

“All right, thanks.”

She knew Sandy would start asking questions immediately, and she felt awkward talking in front of Sophie, so she sat on the porch steps and dialed.

“Jen! How are you? You haven’t called me since Friday. I hope that means it’s going well.”

“Hi, Mom! It’s going great. Yesterday was a little tough, talking about everything, but Will’s been here for me. And everyone I’ve met has been wonderful.” She kept it vague, not having much time before everyone would return for the call.

“I’m so glad. Henry and I were getting worried!”

“Is he up? I’m missing my little man.”

“He is. He’s right here, keeping me company while I clean up from my lunch.”

“Can we do a video call on the computer in the office? I need to see him… and I have a few people here who’d like to meet him.”

“Oh! Really? That’s wonderful. Okay. I can figure that out. I’ve done it at home. Come on, Henry. Let’s go play with the computer.”

“Thanks, Mom. They’ll be back in half an hour to meet him. Listen, let me give you the very quick rundown of what’s happened so far. I don’t want to rehash it with everyone here.”

“All right. So who have you met? You said everyone.”

“Well, there’s Jess and Shelby, but we also met some of their family. We’re at a boarding school in the mountains, where Shelby works. They both graduated from here, too. They call this place home. The director of the school and his wife, Peter and Sophie Scarbrow, are like surrogate family to Jess and Shelby. From everything I’ve seen, they’re pretty fantastic. So yesterday, we sat and talked most of the day, getting to know each other. We got the traumatic topics out of the way first, and then we stuck to lighter stuff and sharing photo albums. Thanks for suggesting that Will bring those, by the way!”

“What’s a family reunion without photos? Jen, traumatic topics?”

She scuffed her shoe against the step, poking at the last bits of un-melted snow.

“I told them about Dad and Roz. They were upset, but great about it. We didn’t really get into the details of anything. Please don’t bring that up on this call.”

“Of course, sweetheart. Did they tell you about your mother, too?”

“No. We agreed not to talk about their childhood in depth for now. From what they did say, it seems like it wasn’t anything good. Jess said she and their mom don’t have a great relationship, and it sounds like Shelby’s connection is much worse. She calls her Alice and is pretty uncomfortable whenever she’s mentioned, so please, tread really carefully, Mom.”

“I will. Thanks for giving me a heads up.”

“I don’t want to rub our good relationship in their faces. They said that they want to meet you, but I think it’s too soon. Shelby’s been in a weird mood this morning, so I’m not sure how this is going to go. Mainly, I think we should just have them meet you and Henry. Let them lead it. I can call you back later.”

“I understand.”

JJ heard a quiet cough behind her and turned to see Sophie with a watery smile at the door.

“The computer is ready when you are.” Sophie stepped up to JJ, leaning down to place her hands on JJ’s cheeks, and quickly kissed her forehead before slipping back inside.

JJ swiped at a stray tear, and said, “We’re all set up on this side, Mom. If we hit a weird spot in the conversation, just get Jess talking. She rivals Penelope in bubbliness. Oh! And one more person you’re going to meet. Shelby has a four-year-old daughter.”

“Another cousin for Henry!”

“Her name is Ginny.”

Sandy gasped.

“I know, Mom. I’ll tell you about that whole conversation later. Anyways, Ginny is like her Aunt Jess. Super chatty and full of energy. So far, I’ve learned her dad is in the Navy and not with Shelby anymore, but they’re friends, so I think that’s a safe topic if Ginny brings it up.”

“Okay, this is so exciting! I’ll get set up here, and Henry and I will be waiting for your call, Jen.”

“Talk to you soon. Bye.”

*****

JJ entered the office to find Sophie waiting at the desk.

“Sorry, that took a little longer than I thought.”

“No problem. I’ve got everything connected, if you want to log in.” She bit her lip in hesitation. “Before they get here, JJ… I want to apologize for Shelby earlier and thank you for being so careful with their feelings. I heard a little of what you told your mom, and I’m so glad you’ve come into their lives.” She moved to embrace JJ, continuing to speak over her shoulder. “They’ll tell you about their mom someday soon, but less than 24 hours after finding out about you just wasn’t enough time for them to open up.” Sophie kept a hand on her arm as she stepped back. “And I’m so proud that you were able to share some of your story yesterday. I hope you know that we’ll always be here for you now. You’re family.”

She finished just as a blond bullet shot into JJ’s legs. They both stumbled a little, but JJ caught the girl and picked her up.

“Hi! Are you ready to meet your cousin?”

“Yep! Where is he?” Ginny looked all around the room.

“Your mommy said you talk to your daddy on the computer a lot. We’re going to talk to Henry on the computer, too. He’s back at my house in Virginia.”

“My daddy’s in Ginnya sometimes!”

“Yeah?” JJ made a mental note to ask Shelby more about that. “Okay, where did you leave everyone else?”

The girl looked a little sheepish. “Dey taked too long.”

“Aah. Well, let’s go find them. Sophie?” The women grinned at each other and walked outside.

They were greeted with a frustrated “Genevieve!”

Ginny hid her face in JJ’s shoulder and started playing with her hair.

“You do not run off like that. You know the rules,” Shelby stormed across the grass.

Unrepentant, the girl replied, “Okay, Mommy. Can we meet Henry now?”

“We’re going to let Aunty JJ and Uncle Will talk to him first. They haven’t seen him in a few days and they miss him. You like to spend a lot of time with your Daddy when he calls, right?”

“Mmhmm.”

JJ noticed that Shelby had returned to the more settled demeanor she’d presented the day before as she spoke with her daughter.

“All right. So, we’re going to play out here for a little while before we meet Henry and Sandy.”

Her little head popped up. “Who’s Sandy?”

“She’s Henry’s grandma. He’s with her today.”

“Is she my grandma, too?”

Shelby sent a bewildered look to JJ, who nodded at her and raised an eyebrow. Shelby hesitated, but nodded and made a go-ahead gesture. The whole exchange had Jess snickering quietly to Will about psychic twin-sync.

“Ginny, if you would like to call her Grandma Sandy, I bet she’d love that,” JJ told her.

Shelby, reached out to take her daughter. “Come on, baby. Let’s play. Henry’s waiting for his mommy and daddy. We’ll say hi soon.”

“Thanks.” JJ clasped Will’s hand and headed back inside.

*****

Ten minutes later, JJ and Will were making goofy faces and baby talk at the computer, when the blonde bullet returned.

“Can I see him now?”

“Sure can, sugar. Come on over here,” Will offered.

“Not too loud, Ginny, we don’t want to scare him.” JJ smiled at her as the girl scrambled onto Will’s knees.

Ginny looked at the screen and said in a moderate voice, “Hi, Henry! Hi, Grandma Sandy!”

Sandy looked stunned for a moment, but recovered quickly. “Well, hi, Ginny! I’m so happy to meet you. And so is Henry. He’s been hearing all about his new cousin.”

“He’s so little!”

“What’s that, Henry?” Sandy boosted him up to her ear. “He says he’s little now, but he can’t wait to grow bigger so he can play with you.”

Everyone else had filed into the room to watch the children meet. They couldn’t see the screen yet, but they laughed at Ginny’s faces as she entertained her squawking cousin.

“Ginny Rabbit,” Peter called eventually. “Can your mommy and Aunty Jess have a turn? They want to meet Henry, too.”

JJ laughed as she noticed that Jess was bouncing side to side on her toes.

“Let’s you and me both clear out, sugar,” Will said. “Give your mama a seat.”

“Okay! Bye, Henry! Bye, Grandma Sandy!”

“Bye, sweetheart!” Sandy waved Henry’s fist at the camera as Will stood up with Ginny.

“Jen, she looks so much like you when you were little.”

“Well, there’s a reason for that. Mom, in the order that I met them… this is my little sister, Jess.” JJ crooked her finger at her. 

“Hi, Mrs. Jareau!” Jess popped into frame over JJ’s shoulder.

“Call me, Sandy, darling.”

Quickly distracted by the baby, Jess only nodded. “Oh, JJ, he’s even cuter than the pictures! Hi, Henry! I’m your Aunty Jess.” She babbled at him for a minute before JJ waved Shelby over.

“And this… is my twin sister, Shelby.”

Shelby slid into Will’s vacated chair, giving Sandy the visual of the girls side-by-side. On screen, Sandy’s mouth dropped open in delight.

“I was expecting this, but wow!” Sandy’s eyes were swiveling back and forth, looking a little crazed. “You two look so similar!”

JJ giggled and cleared her throat.

“Oh, forgive me, Shelby! It’s so nice to meet you, dear! I apologize for staring like that.”

“Nice to meet you, too, Sandy,” Shelby said with a warm smile. “JJ’s said wonderful things about you. And don’t worry, it seems to be the standard reaction so far. We did quite a bit of staring ourselves.”

“I ran into some of Shelby’s students in the breakfast line this morning. Had them so confused. It was pretty funny.”

JJ refocused on her son and was delighted to see his eyes shifting between them, too. “Henry, sweetheart, this is your Aunt Shelby!”

“Hi, Henry. Are you having a fun weekend with your grandma? I know this is confusing because I look a lot like your mommy, but I’m Ginny’s mommy. We’re going to be great friends, I know it.”

Henry started to fuss a little, and JJ tried to settle him through the screen.

“Aw, baby. You’re okay. Mommy’s right here. I miss you so much! We’ll be home soon.”

Sandy spoke over the cries as she rocked Henry and found his pacifier. “Girls, I want to thank you so much for welcoming Jen into your family. Please know that I consider you a part of ours as well, and I would love to welcome you in person someday.”

“Thanks, we’d like that,” Shelby responded quietly.

Alerted by her abrupt shift in tone, JJ looked over to see that Shelby’s leg was bouncing rapidly and her hands were now white-knuckling the seat of her chair.

Jess smiled over-brightly as she continued speaking with Sandy and gently settled a comforting hand onto Shelby’s arm. “I was just telling them yesterday that I’m looking forward to twice the little sister mischief and twice the Aunty spoiling duties now. And I’m excited to visit you sometime. Not sure when I can coordinate the time off work, but I—"

Shelby stood. Her hands were visibly shaking as she mumbled, “Sorry, JJ,” and swiftly exited the room.

Everyone’s eyes followed her retreat, some in concern, some in resignation.

“Umm… Bye-bye, Henry! Remember your Aunty Jess and Aunty Shelby and Cousin Ginny love you, and we can’t wait to come play with you! Sandy, it was lovely to meet you. I hope we can talk again soon. Please, excuse us.” With that, Jess chased after her sister.

“What’s wrong wif Mommy?” Ginny asked from her perch in Will’s arms.

“Oh, Jen, I’m sorry.” Sandy looked a little crushed.

Sophie quickly stepped into frame and dropped an arm over JJ’s shoulders. “Please don’t worry about it. It’s been a stressful weekend for the girls, and it’s stirring up a lot of old anxieties. Hi, Sandy. I’m Sophie, and this is my husband, Peter. Can I meet the handsome Henry?”

Sandy cleared her throat and pivoted the baby to the camera once more. “Nice to meet you both.” 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

“I couldn’t find her.”

The two couples were eating lunch with Ginny when Jess finally reappeared, looking disheartened. Sophie and Peter had been doing their best to reassure JJ that everything was fine with Shelby, but they weren’t very convincing.

“She vanished,” Jess said as she dropped her tray onto the table next to JJ, sinking into the chair with a huff, “and I have to leave soon to get back for my shift.”

“I knew it was too early to introduce Mom.” JJ looked stricken. “I could tell from yesterday’s conversations that… And then this morning she was all… Where would she go? Will she be okay?”

Jess caught Sophie’s stern look, and turned to calm her sister. “JJ, it’s okay. We really were glad to meet Sandy. Both of us. Shelby said so, I swear. Something probably just struck a nerve. She’s got lots of sore spots. They’re usually harder to trigger, but this weekend has her on edge.”

“Mommy gets sad sometimes,” Ginny piped up confidently, as she continued munching on her apple slices. “She goes ‘way to fink big foughts, but she always comes back to me. She promised. Right, Uncle Peter?”

“That’s right, angel. Your mommy just likes to think big thoughts by herself. She’ll be back soon. Are you almost done eating?”

“Mmhmm.”

“What do you say we go play some board games for a little while? You can pick.”

“Yay!”

“All right, finish up, and we’ll head over to your cabin.”

Sophie mouthed “Nap time” at JJ and Will, who smiled in understanding.

“You know, I love games,” Will said, once the girl finished her food. “Can I play, too, Miss Ginny?”

“Yeah!”

“What’s your favorite game?”

“Candyland and Hi Ho Cherry-O and Chutes & Ladders and Hungry Hungry Hippos and—”

“Wow, that’s a lot of favorites! Which one should we play first?” He held out a hand for her, and she hopped down. Peter stood to take her other hand, and they wandered out the door.

The women watched them leave with appreciative smiles.

“I need to get one of those,” Jess stated dreamily.

“Man or kid?” JJ laughed.

“Well, I’d take either, but I’m happy to borrow Ginny and Henry for now. No, I want a kind-hearted hunk to call my own.”

“What happened to Calvin? I thought he was a keeper.” Sophie asked, stacking dishes and trays.

Jess made a pained face. “Definitely not.”

“Ooh, I’d love to hear more about that… but are you sure Shelby’s okay? I feel like I should go find her, and I have no idea where to start.” JJ wrung her hands as she considered all the places they had toured so far. They’d barely seen half the campus, and the woods beyond went for miles.

“JJ, it’s all right.” Jess scanned the room around her for listening ears and lowered her voice. “Look, I know we’ve been really vague and close-lipped about our past, and we really appreciate that you haven’t pushed us on that.” She reached out to both women, grasping their hands and taking a deep breath. “I don’t want to go into a lot of this without Shelby, because it’s more her story than mine, but growing up, she had it way worse than I did. It’s left us with some lingering emotional issues that like to flare up at the most inconvenient times. Like this morning at the ropes course. Again, sorry. She really didn’t mean to hurt you like that.”

JJ shrugged off the morning’s anger, feeling more immediately concerned about what made her sister run. She picked at her napkin, waiting for Jess to continue.

“I have a feeling I know what part of that video call bothered her, and it’s not that bad. It just shook loose some feelings she didn’t want to face in front of everyone. She’ll be back once she’s calmed down.”

“You’re sure that she’s safe?”

“I am. Shelby knows this mountain like the back of her hand. She’s got a few little hideaway spots that she doesn’t tell anyone about so she can get away from everything and deal with her bad moments in private. Nothing like the threat of a hundred messed-up teenagers looking for leverage to make you hightail it into the woods when you start to crack. But she would never, ever do anything that could keep her from coming back to Ginny. That girl is her world.”

“Okay… Can you tell me what made her run? I don’t want to do that to her again.”

Jess shifted closer to curl her arm around JJ’s shoulders. “JJ, it’s not your fault. If I’m right, what triggered her was unavoidable. Is unavoidable. She’s just got to work it out.”

When JJ remained unconvinced and fidgety, Jess sighed.

“All right, I don’t know for sure what happened with Shelby, but let me tell you what I was feeling in there.”

JJ nodded and connected with Sophie’s reassuring gaze across the table.

“Super-excited to meet your little guy and gooey with oodles of love for his sweet, chubby cheeks.” Jess grinned at JJ.

“Happy to meet the very nice woman who raised my sister.” She squeezed JJ’s shoulders and turned towards Sophie.

“A little jealous of the good relationship you all seem to share.”

JJ frowned at that.

“Stressed out over losing my new sister so quickly after finding her.”

“What? Jess, you’re not losing me!” JJ twisted away to catch her eyes.

“I have to leave in a few minutes, and you’ll be headed back to Virginia. I don’t know when we’ll be able to get together again.” Jess shrugged. “It’s one of my hang-ups. People leaving. I know you have to go, and I know we can still talk, but I’m going to miss you.”

“Oh, Jess. Just try and stop me from keeping in touch. I’ll miss you, too.” She hugged her sister tightly.

Eventually, Jess pulled back. “I think Shelby’s feeling that. To the power of twin. And we did this reunion on her turf, so we’re both leaving, while she stays behind. It may not be fully logical, but I’m sure it’s hitting her kinda hard. She doesn’t let people get close very often, and everything this weekend has been at warp speed, by necessity. Adjusting to our new reality is going to take some time. For all of us. So, like I said, unavoidable. She’ll work it out.”

JJ stared at the table as she considered all of that new information. She did need to leave soon, and while she had thought about the fact that she’d miss her sisters, she’d been wrapped up in enjoying the present and largely focused on getting back to Henry and her job. She had her own share of family abandonment issues that reared up from time to time, but she’d had Sandy and Paul, rock-solid presences in her life that allowed her to take more chances. Sounds like her sisters hadn’t had that. Maybe they did now with Horizon and Peter and Sophie.

The distance hurdle was something she’d dealt with before. She and Will had worked it out, and that was just romance with no guaranteed longevity. This was family. Lifelong connections no matter how they managed the contact in the beginning. From literally opposite ends of the country. Hmm.

“Well, we’re just going to make this work,” she finally spoke aloud, looking up. “We are family, and we are motivated. If you two are anything like me, which I get a feeling you are, when you want something, you make it happen.”

“Ah, yeah. That would be accurate. My girls are driven,” Sophie laughed.

“See! So, we’ll figure this out. We’ll take a look at our lives, and find times when we can schedule regular calls. Like every Sunday afternoon, or something. And, thank God for technology, we can do video calls. My life is a little hectic with cases, so I may not be available online sometimes, but Henry will be. We can commit to someone connecting you with Henry at a particular time. Even if it’s the babysitter. And I am reachable by cell phone anywhere, barring bad service. Plus, we can agree that just because we schedule something regular, doesn’t mean we can’t call each other whenever we get the whim, too. And I travel all over the place. If I can work it out, I can arrange little side trip extensions like this one when I’m nearby, and I can do my best to schedule vacations so you can see Henry, too. And anytime you are able to come to Virginia, we will be happy to have you. So, don’t you dare think you will lose me when I go back home. This is no passing interest. You’re stuck with me for life!”

Shelby cleared her throat as she stepped up to the table. “Sounds good to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are reading these stories concurrently: to find out where Shelby went, switch to Chapter 5 of Shaken and Stirred.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

“Shelby! You had me worried when you disappeared!” JJ leaped up to hug her sister tightly.

Shelby looked pleased, but she sent a perplexed eyebrow raise over JJ’s shoulder to Jess as the hug continued.

“I followed you out. Couldn’t find you anywhere.”

“Ah.”

“I told her not to worry, that you have your hiding spots away from the students.”

“That I do.” Shelby patted JJ’s back and pulled away. “I’m sorry I worried you. Please apologize to Sandy for me, too. I really was enjoying meeting her, I just got hit with a sudden wave of old crap.”

“Told ya!”

JJ giggled at that image. “Remind me not to swim near you.”

“Ha. Ha. Where’s my munchkin?”

“Dreamland, via Candyland. She and the boys went to your cabin,” Sophie responded.

“Suckers. She’s probably not asleep yet. I should go be Enforcer Mommy. Are you heading out?” she asked Jess.

“Yeah. Should miss most of the traffic, but you never know.” Jess stood from the table.

“Well, thank you for one of the biggest roller coaster weekends of my life. And for finding my twin.”

“What are little sisters for?” Jess gave Shelby a hug and whispered in her ear, “Glad you’re back. Call me tomorrow, okay? I’m not on until 3:00.”

Shelby nodded.

“JJ, when’s your flight back?” Jess asked.

JJ gave a bemused chuckle. “I don’t actually know; my ride left on Friday. Thanks for the reminder, I’ll have to see if Will booked one for us already. But we need to be home by 5:00 tomorrow. I promised my boss I’d explain my abrupt vacation at a team dinner. Is it okay if I tell them about meeting you all?”

“Sure,” Shelby answered. “You said they’re your family.”

“They are,” JJ smiled. “You know, I don’t think they’ve ever met my mom or my brother, but they’re going to be so curious about you, thanks to the bizarre circumstances. Maybe when you’re able to come visit, we could do a big family barbecue. Or something smaller. Or nothing. No pressure. Sorry!”

“We’ll see what we can work out,” was all Shelby said.

“Okay, girls,” Sophie exclaimed. “A couple more sister pics before Jess leaves.”

They all groaned, but trooped out the door like good little models.

*****

Shelby took the opportunity for a cuddly nap with Ginny when she released the men from their Candyland captivity, and Sophie had to return to her group for the afternoon. Peter offered to give Will and JJ the indoor part of the tour, showing them through the maze of buildings and explaining more about the Horizon program.

Turned out, Will had not picked a flight back yet, waiting to see how everything went, so mid-tour they jumped online to grab seats on the 8 a.m. flight that would get them back in time for dinner. The rest of the afternoon was spent following Ginny’s activity plan and enjoying the grounds with Shelby and Peter.

Ginny’s final directive of the day was dinner in town so she could introduce them to her babysitter, Gracie. Shelby tried to talk her out of it, as Shelby needed to touch base with her group and she wanted to bring JJ along, but Ginny was having none of it. Eventually, the little girl artfully negotiated the compromise of an “Uncles and Niece Night on the Town” with Will and Peter, including jukebox dancing and a cookie for dessert, and the trio headed out.

As the sisters moved through the cafeteria line, JJ noticed that Shelby appeared to be struggling with her emotions again. Afraid to spook her again, she left Shelby to her thoughts as they found a table near the edge of the room and ate in silence for few minutes. Just as JJ was about to give in and inquire, Shelby spoke up.

“When we do group therapy here, the counselors get involved sometimes. It helps the kids open up when they see that we are willing to do it, too. After this weekend, seeing you all around campus, they’re going to have questions, and they’re probably going to bring you up, so I was wondering if you’d mind formally meeting the kids. Just my group and Sophie’s group. Maybe I can head off some of the questions by being open with them, saying what I want to say, now.”

Well, that wasn’t so bad. “Yeah, of course. I’d be happy to meet them.”

“Would you also be willing to do a little career day talk about your job with the F.B.I.?”

“Oh. Sure, I guess I can do that.” She’d never been asked that before, though she knew other team members regularly gave talks at area schools.

“Thanks. It will help divert their attention off me, and honestly, a positive example of law enforcement is good thing for some of these kids. You’re a friendly face they can put on an intimidating authority.”

“So, I shouldn’t bring out my bad-cop interrogation face?”

“I thought you did the media stuff?”

“I do, but I still come into contact with the criminals. Can’t be smiley with them. Or the reporters when they get pushy. It’s F.B.I. Training 101: How to look scary and show no fear.”

“Hmm.” Shelby looked like she was regretting her request.

JJ laughed. “I’m just teasing. I’ll keep it positive and light. Promise.”

*****

After dinner, JJ stood out of the way as Sophie gathered the Cliffhangers and Storm Singers around the fireplace and Shelby moved to the front to introduce their guest.

“Okay, settle in. I’m sure you’ve all noticed by now that I doubled over the weekend.”

The kids chuckled and made a few cloning jokes.

“Yes, yes. Guys, meet Jennifer Jareau, my twin sister.”

JJ gave a little wave when Shelby extended an arm in her direction.

“Please give her a Horizon welcome.”

A small cacophony of hoots, whistles, and applause sounded.

“Thank you.” Shelby maintained most of her commanding teacher presence, but her hands began to fidget. “I’m glad to be able to share this surprise with you because it was certainly a surprise to me when I met her yesterday. Turns out, when my parents got divorced when I was two, they each kept one twin.” Her eyes dropped to the floor. “And nobody ever brought it up again, so we had no idea.”

A buzz of murmurs sprung up around the room. Some kids were disgusted with the parents, others were excited about the idea of a long-lost sibling. A few expressed concern for Shelby.

She took a deep breath and rubbed a hand over the back of her neck as she looked back at the crowd. “So, Storm Singers, if I seem a little stressed in the next few weeks, it’s because I’m working through the shock of finding out our family kept some big secrets from us. Please be patient with me.” With a roll of her shoulders, she shook off her dark mood. “Anyways, I’ve been having fun getting to know my new sister this weekend, and I thought I’d include you guys as I learn about this next topic because she has a pretty cool job. I asked her if she would tell us about it together. JJ works with the F.B.I.”

JJ felt every eye in the room. She noticed a few kids quite disturbed by the presence of a federal agent, but most were intrigued. As she scanned the crowd, Shelby caught her attention and motioned her over. She put on an approachable civilian-liaison face and walked to the front of the room.

“Hi, guys!” She sat down with Shelby on the brick outer hearth of the fireplace. “So, I’m a Special Agent with the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the F.B.I. and the liaison between my team of criminal profilers and the media and local police. I get to be the friendly face that smooths the way for communication between the different groups as they work to solve crimes. Usually, that means fielding requests for the B.A.U.’s help and deciding which cases we take, informing the team of the details of each new case, arranging workspaces in local precincts, holding press conferences and writing press releases, speaking with victims’ families, and whatever else comes up. I typically travel with the team to cases all over the country.”

“What does the B.A.U. do? Is it different from the rest of the F.B.I.?” Shelby asked.

“The B.A.U. is a group of specially-trained agents that get inside the minds of criminals. They work to figure out who the suspect is, based on clues from the scenes, the victims, and the crimes that they develop into a profile of the offender. They help the police figure out who they should be looking for, try to anticipate what a suspect might do next and where they might be, try to understand why the suspects do what they do.”

Sophie chimed in from the back of the room. “Is it all murderers?”

“No, we work on a lot of different cases. Serial killers, child abductions, trafficking, national security threats, and more.”

“You ever kill anybody?” a small boy with a tough attitude sneered.

“I have used my weapon in the line of duty to defend and protect victims and my team,” JJ answered carefully, keeping her tone light.

“That’s not an answer,” the kid pushed. Someone near him cuffed the back of his head.

“It’s the only one you’re getting.” She let a little steel into her voice. “Law enforcement puts you into situations where you might be asked to do things you might not like, but you take an oath to do what needs to be done, to uphold the law and protect the innocent. I do my job.”

The kid nodded and sat back, looking a little wary of her now.

“How did you end up in the F.B.I.? I mean, how did you decide that’s where you wanted to work?” an older girl asked.

Grateful for the change of subject, JJ smiled. “I actually went to college for Communications first. I wanted to make the world a better place, and my idea was to work in a corporate setting that encouraged good community relations and social awareness. Along the way, I developed more interest in Sociology and Government. Then, at the beginning of my senior year, I ended up at a book signing event featuring David Rossi, one of the original B.A.U. team members. Hearing him speak and reading his book inspired me to choose the F.B.I. as my path to making the world a better place. I got an internship with them, applied to the Academy, got a Master’s degree in Conflict Resolution, and now I’m lucky enough to work with Agent Rossi every day. It certainly wasn’t anything I’d imagined when I was in high school, but I think that’s what makes life interesting. Adapting to whatever comes your way and being open to evolving and experiencing new things. You never know what amazing opportunities life will present you.”

Sophie beamed at her and gave a subtle thumbs up.

“You talk to the media and the police, but can you do the profiling, too?” another boy called out.

“I’m not an official profiler, since I haven’t completed the right classes and certifications yet, but in the last four years of working alongside the best of the best, I’ve picked some up, here and there.”

A variety of questions came from around the room, and JJ patiently answered each one. The kids were overall pretty curious and most were respectful. She did notice a few guarded or apathetic faces scattered around, but they kept silent. The general interest started to wane after about fifteen minutes of Q&A.

“Can you profile us?” one last girl asked eagerly.

“Maybe, but I’m not going to. Like I said, I’m not officially trained. And while it might be fun to see what I can figure out about you, it’s not why I’m here today.”

“Nope, she’s here to visit me,” Shelby stood up. “And with that, I think we’ll close the forum. I believe we’re on Clean-Up Duty tonight, Storm Singers. Head on over, and I’ll be right behind you.”

JJ received a small chorus of “Thanks, Agent Jareau,” as they trooped off to the kitchen and Sophie herded her kids out to do homework.

Shelby waited for the room to clear before she said, “Your job is pretty intense. I don’t think I realized that before. Are you safe?”

The haunted look was back in Shelby’s eyes, and JJ’s heart ached for her.

“We get into dangerous situations more than the average person, but so does any law enforcement officer. I love what I do, Shelby. It’s worth the risks. And honestly, I’m coming back from maternity leave with an overabundance of caution. I want to go home to my baby after every case.”

“Good.” Shelby gave her a tight smile. “I have pots and pans to scrub. I better go before they accuse me of bailing.”

“Can I help?”

“If you really want to.”

“Sure. Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're all enjoying a safe and happy end of 2020! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

The next morning was a blur of sleepy hugs and tearful goodbyes. JJ hadn’t expected such a send-off at 5 a.m., but they all showed up in the dawn light.

“I wish we could stay longer, but—"

“Baby to see, criminals to thwart, justice to serve.” Shelby joked. “It’s all right. That Sunday video call you mentioned works for me this week. Should we start there? Say noon Pacific Time, so Ginny can be there for a while, and then we can all talk while she naps?”

“Sounds perfect. But that’s six days away! I may call you before then.” JJ laughed off her uneasiness.

Shelby leaned in to hug her. “Ditto.”

Will and Peter shook hands. Candyland adventures and jukebox karaoke challenges at a four-year-old’s command had brought them to a mutual respect and admiration.

Sophie was darting around with Ginny, shooting all her requested photographs, the final one being Will and JJ in front of the lodge. Once her subjects called a ceasefire, she moved to embrace them both.

“I know you’ll keep in touch with the girls, but I hope you’ll include us sometimes.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“We will, definitely. Thank you for hosting us here this weekend and guiding us through the tough stuff.”

“Anytime.” Peter stepped up to wrap his arms around Sophie.

JJ knelt down to Ginny’s level. “I’m counting on you to teach me all about the woods when we talk on the phone, so next time I visit we can go camping and I won’t be scared.”

Ginny giggled, “De woods aren’t scary!”

“They are when _you_ aren’t there. I’ll talk to you soon, okay, munchkin?”

“Okay!” Ginny gave her a baby bear hug, almost knocking her over.

“It was lovely to meet you, Miss Ginny.”

Ginny giggled again as Will bowed dramatically.

“And thanks for helping me out last night,” he whispered loudly.

The little girl smiled at him benevolently and announced, “Aunty JJ, you gotta make him practice dancing. He was pretty bad, but I showed him some moves.”

“Oh, really? I’ll do my best to continue your teaching, Ginny. I’ll even get my friends Penelope and Derek to help. He’ll be much better next time. I promise.”

JJ grinned as Will blushed and dropped his head back.

“Bye, everybody! We’ll talk to you soon!” JJ waved as they climbed in the car.

“Be safe!”

“Take care!”

“Tell Sandy we say hello.”

“BYYYEEEEE!!”

*****

A long almost-nine hours later, Will and JJ walked through their door to the happy squeals of their son.

“Henry! Oh, baby, Mommy missed you so much!” JJ dropped her bag and rushed over to the baby swing in the living room. She unbuckled him and lifted him smoothly into her arms.

Will hovered over her shoulder and played with Henry’s little fists. “Hey, boo, were you good for your grandmama?”

“He was an angel.” Sandy entered from the kitchen. “I’m so glad I could come for the long weekend. We had a wonderful time.”

“Hi, Mom. Thank you so much for staying with him. We brought you some treats from Washington and lots of pictures.” JJ pointed to a bag by the door.

“That was kind of you.” Sandy kissed her cheek. “You know, this little man’s godparents are a hoot.”

“They both came over?” Will asked as he took off his coat.

“I believe Penelope scooped up Spencer on her way here. He was so sweet and apologetic about showing up unannounced.”

JJ’s smile grew. “He and Pen are a mismatched bundle energy, but that’s why they’re perfect godparents for Henry. Did they run away with him and give you a break?”

“I said I’d share, not give him up.” Sandy tapped Henry’s nose. “No, Spencer put on a little baby magic show to entertain us here, and Penelope and I had fun dressing Henry up in some of the outfits he got for Christmas. It was a nice afternoon.” Her smile dimmed a bit after that.

JJ noticed and was quick to reassure her. “Shelby was fine, Mom. It was nothing you did or said. I talked to Jess about it. Shelby just got overwhelmed for a few minutes when I mentioned going home to Henry. She doesn’t like being emotional in front of other people.” JJ passed the baby to Will and took off her coat and hat. “It got a little hard for any of us to think about going back to our real lives.”

Sandy pulled her into a hug. “Oh, sweetheart. This was a lot packed into a very short time.”

“It was. But we agreed to keep in touch with phone calls and video calls and email. We’re going to do the first video call on Sunday.”

“That sounds wonderful. I’m glad you girls worked it out.”

“I don’t mean to rush you, JJ, but if we’re expected at Rossi’s at 7:00… Sandy, we thought we’d take Henry with us so you get a free evening.”

“And so his other uncles and aunt don’t get jealous. Do you mind Mom?”

“Not at all! Henry and I will play a little longer while you two unpack and get ready, then I’m going to enjoy my novel and a nice bubble bath while you’re out. Go on, get ready.” She took the baby back and shooed them upstairs.

JJ paused inside their bedroom door and looked longingly at the bed. “I don’t suppose we have enough time for a nap…”

“Cher, if you want to take a nap, you go ahead. We got time. The traffic between here and Rossi’s place shouldn’t be too bad. I’ll unpack while you rest.”

“Thank you.” JJ wrapped him in a big hug. “And thank you for being so amazing this weekend. You helped me get through it. Who knows how it would have gone without you?” She moved to the edge of the bed to take off her shoes. “I’d probably have spent a couple hours as a zombie on the bench outside the station, and the team would have carted me off to a doctor when they discovered me.”

“You did great, cher. You only needed backup for the hardest moments. And your sisters and their family were real nice. I was glad for the chance to meet them. Now, get some sleep.”

*****

JJ and Will pulled up to Rossi’s house fashionably late. In part, because of JJ’s nap, but also because they knew they’d end up the focus of the evening, and they didn’t want to have to wait for the others to arrive.

Emily answered the door. “Hey, Will, JJ. Let me take this little bundle off your hands.” She kissed JJ’s cheek as she maneuvered the baby carrier away from her. “Garcia and Reid got their turn this weekend. He’s all mine now!”

“I beg to differ, Prentiss.” Morgan appeared around the corner. “The boy needs some bro time with his Uncle Derek, too! Hi, guys.”

He followed her into the living room, and JJ and Will trailed in their wake.

“JJ! We had so much fun with Henry and your mom yesterday. She is the sweetest lady.” Penelope engulfed them in hugs. “Hi, Will! And she totally agrees with me on the right of all non-parentals to spoil to their heart’s content.”

“Penelope, what did you do?” JJ demanded.

Spencer walked up then. “Mostly never set him down.” He let JJ give him a hug, and he waved at Will. “But there was talk of plans for a shopping spree.”

“He’s just too cute to let go. And there are so many fun outfits to explore!” Penelope insisted.

“I agree!” Emily cooed at Henry on the couch with Derek hovering over her shoulder making faces. “Yes, I do. You’d love a shopping spree, wouldn’t you?”

“Did everything go okay this weekend, JJ?” Spencer asked. “Your mom seemed like she was struggling not to say something.”

JJ put her hand on his arm. “You’re too observant, Spence, but we love you for it. She was trying not to tell you what we were really up to in Seattle. Hotch, Rossi, come on in here, please. I have an announcement,” she called out.

Rossi walked in, handing drinks to JJ and Will. “Benvenuto!”

Hotch followed with a nod at the couple, and everyone settled into chairs. JJ perched on the arm of Will’s chair.

“First of all, thank you, Dave, for hosting a team dinner—that you didn’t know was at my request—right before you leave on your book tour. And thank you, Hotch, for setting it up for me.”

Hotch just shrugged at Rossi’s confused face.

“I got a big surprise on Friday and needed the weekend to work through it. And of course, I knew I couldn’t take last-minute days off without you guys trying to puzzle out why. Hotch helped me distract you all so you wouldn’t worry.”

They were worried now. She could see the wheels turning in every one of them.

“Let’s get all this out of the way so we can enjoy Rossi’s pizza. Are we okay on timing?”

“Yeah, we’re good for a while,” Rossi replied.

“Okay. What were you assuming? Give me your theories. I’ll confirm or deny.” JJ curled her fingers at them, having more fun with this now that the stress of her initial reaction had passed.

“Sexy post-babymoon,” Morgan announced, to the amusement of the room.

“I second that!” Penelope waved her hand over her head.

“Nice idea, but that was not our intention.”

Emily guessed, “Taking advantage of the locale and the happy ending of the case for a quick Valentine’s weekend vacation.”

“Same answer.” JJ shook her head no until Emily’s full statement sunk in. “Oh my gosh, I completely forgot about Valentine’s Day! I’m sorry, Will!” She started laughing in disbelief. “They had decorations up around the office and heart sprinkles on the desserts, and I was completely oblivious.”

“No big deal, cher. Your brain was busy with other things. We can celebrate next weekend. And anyways, we did have a nice weekend off together.” Will finished with a grin, kissing her hand.

“Bad reaction to the mother/child aspect of the case?” Spencer asked softly when the others had stopped teasing the couple.

“True, I did handle that rather badly—"

“Cher? You didn’t tell me about that.”

“Sorry, I was a little distracted. But no, Spence, that wasn’t the reason Will flew out. And I will be working on that reaction moving forward.” She directed the last comment to Hotch, who nodded.

“Following up on something the psychic said,” Rossi grumbled.

“No. We’re going to agree to disagree on the usefulness of psychics, but we can talk about that later…” JJ’s words trailed off as something flitted across her memory. “You know what, actually, Stanley Usher is the entire reason my weekend went haywire. But not for the reason you think.”

“Cher, you didn’t tell me that either.”

“I didn’t remember until just now.” She turned to her boss, smiling. “Come on, Hotch. You already told me your theory. Share with the class.”

“Celebrating that JJ’s pregnant with twins.” He said it nonchalantly, fully enjoying the explosion that followed.

“What!”

“Oh, my goodness!”

“Wait, really?”

“No way.”

Will just snickered, quite relieved that wasn’t true.

JJ waited until everyone’s shocked reaction had subsided. “Okay, look,” she began, suddenly nervous again. “I will explain everything, but I might stumble through this since I’m still wrapping my head around some of it, so please let me get it all out first. I will answer your questions after.” She huffed out a breath. “I have no idea where to start.”

The concerned faces returned as she collected her thoughts.

“Okay, first and foremost, let me squash that last theory right now. I am not pregnant again. One infant is enough to handle for the near future.” She smiled down at Will. “But, of all of your speculation, turns out Hotch was the closest.”

They were all on the edge of their seats waiting to hear how that could be true.

She got up and started pacing. “It’s so strange. I’m the same person that I was a week ago, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, and yet I’m so much more now… Turns out, I’m a twin.” She barreled on past that revelation, leaving the team with their jaws on the floor. “My parents pulled a sort of _Parent Trap_ situation on us when they divorced, each taking one of us. Oh, and by the way, I also have a little sister. I told you about my older sister, right? Roz and I stayed with Dad. Shelby and Jess went with our mother. To Washington, apparently. This weekend, thanks to Mr. Usher," JJ chuckled, “I met them both. And they’re pretty great. Nobody knew anything about it. We met completely by chance. Or fate or whatever.”

She stopped pacing and scanned their astonished and bewildered faces. Wheels were turning once more.

“I recognize that this mysterious situation is catnip to investigators like us who need to have answers, but I want to ask you all to respect their privacy as we get to know each other. Will’s first instinct when I called him from Olympia was to run a background check to make sure they weren’t scamming me.” She settled back onto the arm of the chair and took his hand. “While I appreciate that my temporarily scrambled brain had freaked him out, I want to learn about my family in person, and from their lips. And I might end up a little more stressed out than usual as I work through all this. If you need the reassurance, Will can confirm for you that it’s true and that my family will not be a danger to me, but he won’t give you details. If you have any questions about my family or how I’m dealing, please ask me. I won’t betray this new bond by having the F.B.I. dig into their lives, but I’m thrilled to share my news with my B.A.U. family. I’ve got a bunch of pictures to show you, and I’ll tell you anything I think is appropriate.”

The stunned silence just hung for a minute.

“Wow…” Penelope exhaled in awe. “Angel, you had the Mommy vibes on full blast at the end there. Henry is going to be the best-behaved kid ever. I feel properly scolded and warned and loved. I’m woman enough to admit I know that speech was mostly aimed at me. I’ll be good and limit my curiosity to asking you. Pinky swear.”

“I second that. Though I refuse to pinky swear.” Hotch gave the tiniest smirk as the others nodded their agreement. “You do realize you’re inviting the full pestering force of Penelope Garcia’s curiosity, right?”

“Oh, I’m aware.” JJ sighed.

Then, Rossi piped up with, “Can we talk now, Mom?”

She laughed. “Shut up, Rossi.”

“Okay, okay. I need to check on the pizza dough.” He kissed her cheek as he headed to the kitchen. “Auguri, cara!”

“Jayje, this is major! I’m so excited for you.” Emily jumped up to give her a hug.

“I’m just relieved Hotch was wrong and you’re not pregnant again already!”

“Morgan!” Emily and Penelope spun on him.

“Well, I’ve only just recovered from the first one. But seriously, congratulations, JJ.”

Spencer leaned forward. “I’m happy for you, JJ. Are you doing all right with all this?”

“Yeah, thanks. There were some rough moments this weekend, but overall, it was great. Meeting my sisters and their family.”

“Family, too?” Penelope finally broke her self-restraint and jumped up to crush JJ in her arms. “How big we talking? Are we going to need Rossi’s back yard to fit everyone for Thanksgiving?”

“Good point. Do we get to meet them?” Rossi asked, walking back in.

“Eventually, yes, I think. But guys, I only found out three days ago. Throttle back.”

“I’m glad everything really is okay. You had me worried.” Hotch took his turn for a hug.

“Hotch, I told you it was a good thing. I talked to you about 30 minutes after she sprung it on me. I didn’t know up from down.”

“I can attest to that. She called me right after and was all kinds of bewildered and panicky.”

JJ moved to sit on his knee. “Will pulled me back together. Gave me things to do to get my head on straight again. He was my rock this weekend.”

“Awwww!” Emily and Penelope chorused.

Eyerolls ensued all around, but JJ and Will just beamed at each other.

“You sure you’re not—"

“Morgan!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading these stories concurrently, switch to Chapters 6 and 7 of Shaken and Stirred to read about Shelby's week.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chronologically, this follows Chapter 7 of Shaken and Stirred.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

JJ settled down onto the sofa, sporting her coziest pajamas and sipping a glass of wine as she dialed her mom’s number.

“Jen! Finally!”

“Hi, Mom. It’s been less than 24 hours since you drove home. What finally?”

“Well, you were out late with the team last night, and I went to bed. Then, we couldn’t really talk this morning once the babysitter came, so I’ve been waiting all day to hear about your trip. I want to know everything!”

“All right, all right. We already talked about Friday. So, Saturday morning, I drove up to the airport…” JJ recapped her four hours of driving around Washington, filling in all the little details she knew Sandy would want.

“Your little sister was so nice on the Skype call, I was sorry we didn’t get a chance to speak longer. I’m glad you thought to learn about her on the drive.”

“Well, I definitely didn’t want to explain my whole story more than once, and Jess could fill hours of conversation all by herself. It made the most sense. Oh! When she got into all her favorite music, she played me some. It was a bunch of people I’d never heard of, but I bet you’ll like it. Reminded me of the stuff you listen to all the time. Vintage vibes.”

“Wonderful! We can compare collections.”

“So, then we got to Mt. Horizon. It’s a beautiful place, Mom. Tucked away on a mountain, only a tiny town nearby. Trees as far as the eye can see.”

“Oh, I bet you loved that.” Sandy was well acquainted with JJ’s aversion to the woods.

“It was fine. Creeped me out a little when we first got there, but after that, I was almost never alone. We kept pretty busy. And it was different from the woods at home. More pine trees? Thinner underbrush? I don’t know, but it wasn’t bothering me.”

“That’s good.”

“And everywhere you looked was like a postcard. The campus is made up of all these beautiful log cabins and wooden structures, with Native American designs scattered around. The whole place is well-maintained. Even in February, the grounds looked great. One of the features of the school is that the staff and students all share in the chores, so there were kids chopping wood, cleaning windows, building fences, making the food. I helped scrub pots and pans in the cafeteria on Sunday night.”

“I could never get you to do that at home!”

JJ laughed. “I know, but I offered. There’s such a community spirit there.”

“You only told me it’s a boarding school in the mountains. How does the kids doing chores factor in? Doesn’t sound like your typical boarding school.”

“It’s not. When Jess first told me about the school, she called it her sanctuary. It’s a school for kids who have to get away from their lives, ones who are having problems. Trauma, abuse, violence, psychological issues, drugs. They do typical high school classes, but they also do group therapy, lots of outdoor activities, chores. Shelby explained it as ‘a school where everything’s a lesson.’” 

“And do the kids choose to go there, or get sent there?”

“I think it’s mostly not their decision. One of the kids Shelby mentioned got assigned there by a judge instead of going to a juvenile detention center. But they don’t all end up there through courts. Some just have family that decide to send them there. Either way, they have this wall of alumni photos, and they’ve had graduates go on to do some very impressive stuff. Seems like a lot of the kids thrive there once they’re away from the bad parts of their life.”

“Sounds like a wonderful school. If we’d known about it before, maybe a place like that could have—”

“No point in could-haves, Mom.” She drained the rest of her glass.

JJ knew where Sandy was heading with that comment, but after the weekend’s highs and lows, she didn’t want to open that can of worms now. Sandy had never approved of JJ’s tendency to avoid talking about Roz. Every year or two she would push, try to get JJ to open up again, be more comfortable with the subject. With everything that happened over the weekend, another push was coming soon. Thinking back on how Peter got them all to talk in that first meeting, how she felt lighter afterwards, how Shelby opened up to her students on Sunday, maybe talking about it wouldn’t be the worst thing. But definitely not tonight.

“All right, fine.”

JJ could hear the disapproval in Sandy’s voice, but she kept silent until Sandy dropped the subject.

“Well, tell me more about that little angel, Ginny. I was so touched when she called me Grandma.”

*****

Wednesday came with an unexpected trip to Cleveland. When the team finally took a break in the evening, JJ made a quick call to her brother, moving to a deserted corner so she could speak freely.

“Hey! Guess who’s in your neck of the woods.”

“Hi, Jen! You’re here?”

“Well, not exactly. I’ve got a case in Cleveland.”

“Yes, I suppose if you consider anyplace northwest of Virginia as ‘our neck of the woods,’ then you’re practically on our doorstep. And I really failed at helping you with geography homework.”

“Shut up, Paul.”

The playful camaraderie she shared with her brother never failed to bring a smile to her face. He had an innate ability to joke her out of nearly any mood.

“Glad to see I finally rate a call about your wild Washington weekend.”

“Mom told me she called you, and this was the first chance I got! We’re in the middle of an investigation.”

“Sure, sure. Listen, I was wondering if maybe you’d like to catch up in person? Erica and I were thinking of doing a short trip to Washington. Katie’s got a half-day Friday, so we could drive down that afternoon, do a little sightseeing and hang out with you guys on Saturday, or Sunday before we head home. The girls can play with Henry while you and I talk.”

Glad for the chance to see the rest of her family so soon, JJ was quick to agree. “Well, it’s fine with me, assuming I’m back in town. We did Christmas in Pennsylvania, so you haven’t seen our house yet. Let me call and check with Will. He mentioned something about celebrating a belated Valentine’s Day this weekend. I don’t know if he has something planned.”

“We can clear out if you guys want to do a special dinner or whatever. Could take Henry off your hands for a while, too. And we’d be staying at a hotel. I don’t mean to impose on short notice, but I’ve been digging through my attic, and I have something to show you.”

“Like what?”

“Just some stuff I forgot about. I’d rather not get into it over the phone.”

The careful nonchalance and avoidance caught her attention.

“Paul?”

“Just stuff you’ll want to see, Jen.” His voice raised slightly with desperation that time.

Why was he being weird? Paul was usually so relaxed and… It clicked.

“Paul.” After yesterday’s call with Sandy, JJ wasn’t expecting the talk-about-it shove to come from her brother. “Roz stuff?” she confirmed softly.

“Yeah,” he huffed resignedly.

JJ sucked in a breath and held it until her lungs fought back. “Ooo-kay. Well, thanks for the advance warning. Gives me a chance to stock up on Kleenex and beer. I’ll call you back after I talk to Will.”

“Okay. Love you, Jenny.”

“Love you, too. Bye.” She disconnected the call and promptly dropped onto the nearest chair, folding herself in half and hugging her thighs as she panted out the stress and shoved escaped memories of Roz back into their box.

If last weekend was only the first shovel into unearthing their full family history, it might be easier to approach with Paul. He’d been so great in getting her past everything before. Or maybe they’d end up sitting and staring at each other until they gave up and watched a movie. He was as bad about Roz as she was.

“JJ!”

She heard hurried footsteps and felt a gentle hand on her back. Out of the corner of her eye, she recognized unruly brown curls as Spencer knelt and tried to see her face.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Keeping her forehead on her knees, she waved a hand at him. “I’m all right. I’ll be fine. I just need a sec.”

“Take the rest of the night. We’re done for now.” Hotch’s concerned voice jolted her upright.

She quickly scanned the room, mortified that she had let her emotions overwhelm her at work. Luckily Hotch and Spencer were the only two team members still present, and they were now mostly blocking her from the sightline of the handful of local officers across the room. She placed her hands over her face as she regained her composure, then stood and smoothed out her clothes.

“Sorry, forgot where I was for a minute. I’m fine. Really.”

“Even so, let’s all head back to the hotel now. The others already left.” Hotch’s intense stare moved from her to Spencer, who nodded.

“Let’s go.” Spence tried to steer her towards the exit.

“No, I’ve got a couple quick phone calls to make. Can you give me a few minutes? I won’t be long.”

Hotch looked pleased by her swift rally. “Of course. Let us know when you’re ready.”

“Thanks. Be right back.” JJ made a beeline for the back hallway that led to the bathrooms. 

*****

When she returned fifteen minutes later, the trio filed out to the car and headed for the hotel.

“Want to tell us what happened back there?”

Hotch kept his eyes on the road as he drove, but she could feel Spencer’s cautious stare from the backseat.

She tried hard to remember that feeling from Saturday, that lightness after opening up. Talking was good. If she couldn’t practice among friends…

“I suppose.” She hesitated, taking a moment to test her current grip on her emotions. “My brother and his family are coming to visit this weekend.”

“And that’s bad?” Spencer was struggling to put the pieces together.

“No, I’m glad to see them. It was just something he said related to everything that happened last weekend.”

Their silence begged for further information.

Taking careful breaths, she said, “I told you guys about my older sister, right?”

Hotch nodded. “You mentioned her when you told us about your trip.”

Her hands fisted the fabric of her sleeves. “Well, what I didn’t say was that Roz… died when I was eleven.”

She’d said it! She’d said Roz’s name and spoken about her death. In public. Feeling encouraged, she continued.

“Paul is technically my stepbrother. They were only a year apart and pretty close friends after our parents got married. I guess Paul went digging through his old stuff after hearing about my other sisters, and apparently, he found something that he needs me to see in person. I could tell from his voice that he knows it will upset me. It just stirred up a lot of old memories that I can usually keep locked away.” Her voice lowered to a strangled whisper as she ran out of courage. “I don’t like talking about Roz.”

“If you ever do want to talk about it, we’ve got good ears.”

“I know. Thanks, Spence. I just want to get this case wrapped up quickly. Can’t wait for Round Two of emotionally-draining weekends...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If reading these stories concurrently, continue with Chapter 8 of Shaken and Stirred.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are reading these stories concurrently, this follows Chapter 8 of Shaken and Stirred.
> 
> I came up with my backstory concept before seeing the S14 episode that delved into Rosalyn Jareau’s death and gave it more context, so I’m taking her storyline AU here.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of JJ’s sister’s suicide, rebellious behavior, abuse, and drug use over the next few chapters.
> 
> RATING CHANGE: Please note that I have upped the rating to M, just to be safe, and updated the tags as well. I hadn’t expected to dive this deep into Roz’s story, originally. I still won’t go into detail about the suicide.
> 
> This story concept has grown exponentially on me since I began, and I’m having a lot of fun exploring it. I hope you’re enjoying it, too.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

JJ and Will spent the early Saturday hours indulging in a belated Valentine’s breakfast in bed and a little morning fun, as Will did his best to keep JJ’s mind off the stressful conversation ahead. It only worked intermittently. By 10 a.m., they were entertaining Henry in the living room and waiting anxiously for the arrival of Paul’s family.

“Breathe, cher. He’s not even here yet. You need to relax.”

“I’m trying. It’s like my brain knows it’s being ridiculous, but my body is remembering last weekend and bracing for another shock. I can’t turn it off.” She hung her head.

Will moved behind her and began massaging her shoulders as she took deep breaths in an attempt to unwind.

When a knock sounded at the door, Will stood to answer it with a muttered, “Finally!”

JJ slowly gathered up Henry, delaying her appearance. As she quietly approached the foyer, she saw Erica and Katelyn removing their coats and shoes while Will whispered harshly in Paul’s ear. The hurt radiating from her brother jolted JJ into action.

“Hi, guys! Katie, you’re so tall! I think you grew a foot since I saw you at Christmas.”

The newly-eleven-year-old complained good-naturedly as she ran over for a hug.

“Nearly. Hi, JJ. Speaking of growing!” Erica stole the baby and began babbling at him. “Look at you, Henry!”

“Jen.”

Paul gathered her into a bear hug so warm and familiar it had tears immediately filling her eyes as some of her stress released. She sniffed and quickly pushed him away, determined not to lose it in front of Katie.

“How was the drive? When did you guys get to town?”

Katie danced around as she animatedly described their trip for her aunt.

“We drove around D.C. last night and saw the giant monuments all lit up. It was cool.”

“That’s great! Well, welcome to our house. Do you want a tour?”

“Sure. The front was lovely. The whole street is like a picture.” Erica swayed with Henry as her eyes darted among the adults. She kept up the light mood, but JJ could read the stress on her face as well.

“Yeah, it’s a nice neighborhood. We don’t know a lot of the residents very well yet, since we just moved in a few months ago and we’re so busy, but there are kids around, so Henry can have some playmates as he gets older.”

As she led them into the house, she heard Will encouraging Paul to hurry up and tell her.

“—been wound like a spring since you told her you were coming.”

“I know. That’s why we came down so soon. I don’t want to stretch this out either. Can you—"

She blocked out their words and focused on smiling for Katie.

*****

“Jenny, I’m sorry you’ve been st—”

JJ looked up with wide eyes to see Paul frozen at the door. He’d gone outside to help load the kids into the car as Will and Erica took them to the National Zoo for the afternoon. As soon as she was alone in the house, JJ’s walls had crumbled, releasing wave upon wave of tears. She’d curled into a ball on the couch, hugging a pillow, and just let go.

“Oh, man. Don’t do that. Please?”

“Buck up, Paul,” JJ managed in between sobs. “You’re a married man and father of a tween girl. If you’re not used to stress tears yet, you better learn fast. Come over here and hug me.”

“Okay.” He awkwardly sat down next to her and wrapped an arm over her shoulders.

Five minutes and half a box of tissues later, Paul’s obvious discomfort and clumsy petting of her head was enough to break the crying jag.

She patted his knee and laid her head on his shoulder. “Thanks. Was that as weird for you as it was for me?”

“So much worse.”

He’d been wonderful after Hank and Roz passed, always there to distract or brighten her mood, but when she had needed comfort like this, she’d gone to Sandy.

“You’re a good brother. Fair warning, if we’re about to talk about Roz and dredge up a bunch of memories, this is only the beginning.”

“I knew I should have asked Mom to come, too.” He leaned forward to rest his head in his hands.

“You’ll be fine. Back in a sec.” JJ headed to the bathroom to clean herself up and delay the inevitable just a little longer. She swung through the kitchen on the way back, arming herself with another box of tissues, snacks, and a six-pack.

“As promised. Enough to take the edge off, but not enough to make us sloppy before they get back from the zoo. Let’s do this.”

She opened the first two beers. Paul downed half of his before exhaling like an athlete psyching himself up for a game, then he went to grab the duffel bag he’d left in the entryway. As he returned, his eyes had transformed with youthful vulnerability and wariness.

“Since you’re already on the big emotional roller coaster, I just want to preface this. I love you so much, sis. Please don’t be too angry with me. I blame teenage stupidity and my own grief.”

“Paul, you’re only making me more nervous. Just tell me.”

He unzipped the duffel and lifted out a box, setting it on the coffee table in front of her. It was the size of a large shoebox, but wooden and painted with faded floral patterns. At first glance, JJ guessed a jewelry box.

“When I got the call about…” He cleared his throat, shaking his head, and started again. “A few days after I moved back home from college, I found this tucked at the back of my closet. It had a note taped to it. ‘I love you, Paul. Please take care of them.’ It was R—her handwriting.”

JJ gasped as she lifted the lid. Inside was a treasure trove of photos, souvenirs, cherished bits of Roz’s life that JJ hadn’t seen in years.

“I looked at the stuff, but it hurt too much to really go through it. I just registered a bunch of pictures of her with you and I at different ages, a few of the trinkets, before I had to close it again. I buried it inside another box in the closet and didn’t ever go through it completely. When I moved my stuff out after college, I took it with me. I kept it safe like she asked.” He seemed to be pleading her.

JJ was leafing through the contents, tears spilling out as she saw old polaroids of her with her sister, pictures she hadn’t seen in 20 years. There were mixed in with girl scout badges, achievement certificates, programs for dance recitals and school plays, an old pair of pointe shoes, and dried flowers. As she moved to lift the inner box to see the next layer, Paul moaned, drawing her attention.

His own eyes were red and filling with tears now, and his jaw muscles were flexing, tendons and veins popping along his neck. “You see, I didn’t know to do that. Of course, you would. I’m so sorry, Jenny. I was so stupid! I didn’t know… I never realized…”

“It’s okay, Paul. I’m glad to have these things now. It’s like getting a little piece of her back.” She pulled him into a hug.

“No, you don’t understand.” He pulled back and turned away from her, unable to hold eye contact. “When Mom called me last weekend and told me about you meeting Shelby and Jess, it got me thinking about everything again. Everything we hate to talk about. I went through my old stuff in the attic, looking for things you could share with them, and I found the box. I hadn’t seen it in over ten years. I was sitting there on the floor of our bedroom, tearing up as I looked at the photos, when Erica came in and sat with me. She immediately did the same thing you did. She pulled up the top layer. I swear I had no idea. If I had…”

JJ’s eyes widened, finally grasping his meaning. She quickly lifted out the insert, revealing more mementos. There were stacks of letters and photos, baby clothes, and a couple diaries. The top photo was a family portrait: Hank, Alice and all four girls. JJ broke down in sobs again.

All these years, she could have known her sisters.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up: I am still writing and editing the last few chapters of this first story in the Family Found series, so updates may become more spaced out. I think we’re headed for around 20 chapters total, depending on how long they get. I have a couple more chapters of Part 1 of Shaken and Stirred in progress as well. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING still in effect.
> 
> I have added a chronological chapter order list for the Family Found series at the bottom of my profile, in case you'd find that helpful.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

JJ vaguely registered Paul’s frantic phone call as he paced the living room in front of her.

“Mom, help! I broke Jen!”

The volume was up loud enough that she could mostly hear her mom’s calm voice on the other end.

“Don’t worry, honey. I’m almost there.”

“What? How did you know?”

“Erica called me this morning. You were worrying her. She told me a little about what you found and asked for advice on getting you through telling Jen. I left right away. I should be there in about a half hour, I think.”

“Thank you. Oh God, I never should have done this on my own. I didn’t realize how bad—"

“It’s all going to be fine, honey. How is she?”

“She’s not talking. She’s barely blinking. At least she stopped crying.”

“Okay, not great. Put me on speaker phone.”

He did so, placing the phone on the table, and grabbed JJ’s hand as he sat down again. “All good.”

“Jenny, sweetheart, it’s Mom. I’m going to be there very soon. Can you let Paul help you?”

JJ didn’t respond externally. Her mind was still reeling. Flashing through memories of Roz and a million different what-if scenarios.

“Jenny. Can you answer me, please? Just let me know you’re listening. Come on, baby.”

She eventually emitted a little whimper.

“She squeezed my hand. Ow. Ow! She’s really squeezing my hand! Jeez, Jen!”

“That’s a good sign. Just keep talking to her calmly. I’m almost there. If she lets go of your hand, go unlock the door for me.”

She released his hand.

“She let go! Guess she wants to see you. Be right back, Jenny.” He kissed her on the temple and ran to the door.

“Sweetheart, you’re doing great. I’ll be there in just a few minutes. Keep taking deep breaths, in and out. Try to let your muscles relax. Paul’s there with you. Everything is okay. Paul, honey, just stay calm and encourage her to breathe. I’m going to hang up now, but I’ll be there soon. I love you both.”

“Okay, see you soon, Mom. Jen, I’m sorry. Just keep breathing, like Mom said. In and out.”

Paul followed his mother’s instructions to the T. So diligently, in fact, that as JJ came down from the adrenaline rush, the first thing she did was laugh. At him.

“Did I freak you out so much that you flashed back to Lamaze class with Erica?”

“Shut up, Jen. Mom said to keep you breathing. That’s what I knew how to do. Are you back now?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

She was immediately engulfed in a bear hug.

“Holy crap, Jen. I thought I broke you. I’m so sorry. I never should have told you like this. I knew—”

“Relax, Paul. I’m okay now.” She spoke into his shoulder and rubbed comforting circles on his back. “I was never going to take this news well. It probably didn’t help that I was so twisted up waiting for you to get here. Sorry I scared you.”

After a couple minutes, JJ poked his side.

“You can let me go now. I want to look at the photos.”

He only tightened his hold. “No way. Not until Mom gets here. We’re not doing that again.”

JJ just smiled and squeezed her arms around him again. “All right, big guy. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

When Sandy came in ten minutes later, it was to JJ’s laughing eyes peeking over her brother’s shoulder. JJ demonstrated her trapped state with a flop of her hands.

“Thank God. Paul, can you chill now? Mom’s here.”

*****

Sandy took control of the situation with ease. She declared the two of them in need of a break and shooed them out for a walk around the neighborhood while she brought her things into the guest room. By the time they returned, she had the chairs and couch piled with extra pillows and blankets, water glasses alongside the beer bottles, and the snacks in individual bowls.

At their raised eyebrows, she only said, “Because we are in for a marathon. And otherwise, Paul will eat all the chips.” She took a sip from her own beer and arranged herself in an armchair. “Have a seat. We’ve been avoiding this for far too long. Everything that happened in Washington is forcing our hands now, but I’m glad. It’s time we all talked and moved past this.”

“Mom, I know you wa—”

“No, Jen. I know you two don’t like to talk about Roz. But it’s been almost 20 years, and this inability to talk about her is hurting you. Look at what happened today. And your sisters are going to want to know more about Roz eventually. They’ll want to hear the stories, the good and the bad. Are you going to let this happen every time she’s brought up? What about when Henry asks about her? The first steps are painful, but necessary. I let this go on too long because I was hurting, too, but no more. I don’t know what’s in that box, but I bet there are some things that each of us can share about your sister. We’re putting it all out there today.”

“Mom, the kids—”

“Will be back later this evening, Paul. I called Erica. She and Will are going to keep them out longer, so we have time. They send their love and their encouragement for you to do this. They’ll call and check in before they come back. If we need more time, they’ll go to the hotel and let Katelyn swim. That’s also why we’re going to dive right in. The quicker we put it out there, the sooner we can work through it. All right?”

“Yes, Mom.” JJ and Paul dragged their feet all the way to the couch and settled grumpily into their own little nests of comfort.

“You know we’re adults, Mom, right?” Paul asked as he spread a blanket over his knees.

“Of course, I know. Now, behave like it.”

Paul shook out his shoulders and grabbed his beer. JJ hugged her pillow and a box of tissues.

“Okay, I’ll start. So, Roz had a different relationship with each of us. Personally, she and I struggled sometimes. She was eleven when I met Hank. Jen, she had been standing in as your mother for three years. I’m not sure how much you remember, but Hank’s mother helped care for you girls in the years after Alice left, while he worked. Evelyn died the year we met, so I didn’t know her well, but from our limited interactions, she disapproved of the way their marriage ended and only helped Hank out of familial obligation. Roz was the one who gave you all the extra love and attention she could. When I showed up, she resented my presence, at first. Her mother had left, and she didn’t want another. When I tried to help with you, Jen, she would get possessive and angry. We worked through it, and I think we ended up better friends by the end—"

“You did.” Paul spoke up, shifting uncomfortably. “We talked about it sometimes. She loved you after a couple years, even if she didn’t always show it.”

Sandy smiled. “I’m glad to know it. I loved her, too.” She produced her own box of tissues from beside the chair and blew her nose before continuing. “As her stand-in mother, we butted heads quite a bit. Even more so after Hank died. Her behavior worsened every year, and she was having problems in school. I’m sure you remember our occasional screaming matches. I had a hard time getting through to her, understanding her. I blamed myself when she died. If only I had seen just how much she was hurting. If only I could have helped.”

“No, Mom. You were great. After Dad died, she closed herself off from me, too, but we still talked about some things. She knew you were trying. I don’t think she wanted to be helped, then.” JJ had steady rivers of silent tears streaming down her cheeks. She only bothered to swipe at them every few minutes. “I don’t think I have any big things to share about Roz. We weren’t that close. I loved her and looked up to her, but she never wanted to spend time with her little sister. She kept me at arm’s length. I don’t really remember her taking care of me like you said, but that probably explains why I feel so strongly about her even so. I must have just suppressed it after…”

“I guess it’s my turn, then.” Paul drained the rest of his beer and set it back on the table. He grabbed a full one, but only picked at the label as he began to speak to the bottle. “Roz and I were friends, on top of siblings. We ran in the same circles at school, went to a lot of the same events, bonded over missing parents and the horror of our parents dating. I probably know most of her secrets, kept them as my own for so long. It feels like I’m betraying her to share them.” He scowled and removed the cap from his beer.

“You can’t hurt her now, honey. Talking about Roz only helps us understand her and heal our own hearts.”

“Are there secrets so bad that she’d never want them revealed?” JJ’s voice wavered.

He contemplated that for a minute before smirking. “No, I guess not. Now that she can’t get in trouble for them, she’d probably find it funny to shock you, actually.”

“I have a couple big ones, but we’re not ready for that yet.” Sandy shifted in her chair and grabbed her bowl of chips. “Can you tell Jen what you remember about Roz, Paul?”

He stared at her, as if trying to read her mind, and then turned back to JJ. “I don’t know how much you know.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’d like to hear about how she was with you.”

“Well, some of this is probably in that box. I didn’t read any of it, by the way. After Erica found it, we just closed it back up.”

“We can learn more about her together, then.” JJ reached for his hand.

He took a deep breath and squeezed her hand. “Roz grew up kind of fast. Because of taking care of you after Alice left. I thought she was so obnoxious when we met in school, that first year after we moved here. She was always telling me what to do and yelling at me anytime I did something wrong. When Mom and Hank started dating, we were mortified. Took a while before we got comfortable around each other, but we got over it before the wedding. Finally seeing the two of you so happy again is what did it.” He smiled at his mother. “As she started to accept you, she could finally let go of being in control all the time, being responsible for the house, for Jen. She let the pendulum swing pretty hard in the other direction. She called it ‘reclaiming the carefree youth she got cheated out of.’ Basically, lots of parties, being reckless, alcohol… drugs.”

JJ gasped. She’d known about her sister’s drinking at parties, but she’d convinced herself that Roz had never gone so far as drugs. “Which drugs?”

“I mean, I wasn’t at every party she was, but the ones I saw or heard about… mostly weed, some ecstasy. She swore she’d never had anything to do with needles, but I know she tried speed, acid. I saw her snort something once, and there was one weekend when a guy smuggled peyote back from Mexico…”

JJ’s jaw was on the floor. She’d had no idea.

“That whole responsibility drive never went away completely, though. She was super careful about dosages, not mixing things, being in a fairly safe space with friends, not getting addicted. More often than not, it was just alcohol and weed, occasional ecstasy at a rave. The others were her being adventurous, or reckless on a really bad day, wanting the euphoria. Who knows where it would have led her, but it wasn’t out of hand yet back then.”

Sandy set her bowl on the side table and leaned back, wrapping her arms around her chest. “I knew a little of that. I caught her high or drunk a few times. I didn’t realize how much you knew about it. Or I didn’t want to. Was this a problem for you, too, Paul?” She asked very carefully.

He looked down. “Mom… I’m not going to lie to you. My dad died, my stepdad died, my sister died. I pushed the boundaries. For me, it was a lot of alcohol and weed. There were some pretty bad spells after she… Some of the anniversaries… But it never became a serious problem, I didn’t get into any other drugs, and I left those days behind me when I met Erica.” He finally looked up with a goofy, lopsided smile.

Sandy pursed her lips and said nothing as she turned her gaze to JJ, who held up her hands in surrender.

“Goody-goody overachiever here. Between Roz early-on and the two of you …after, I was well-adjusted or scared-straight enough that I was focused more on soccer and getting a scholarship than rebelling. I did sneak out to a couple parties and have a couple beers in high school. Standard, but minimal college drinking. No drugs.”

“Snuck out to a couple parties. You bad girl, you.” Paul laughed.

She threw a pillow at him.

“What? I’m glad I never had to worry about you. Not like I did with Roz.” He took a long pull from his beer and his face sobered again. “When she was drunk or stoned, she’d sometimes talk about your mother.”

JJ scowled.

“I mean Alice. It was kinda creepy. Even now, I’m not sure whether Roz flat-out hated her or was still pissed at her for leaving all those years later. I don’t know what was true and what she made up or embellished just to be dramatic. She’d tell me stories about Alice leaving her at the park, or taking her to a bar, or going on some tirade about wishing she’d never had kids. And your grandmother—” His voice hitched as a tear escaped. “Pretty sure she used to hit Roz, rant at her about her good-for-nothing mother. I think she would take it… s-so that woman would leave you alone.”

JJ couldn’t breathe again. Who was this woman that had damaged the lives of all three of her sisters? Why was she the only one spared? How could she be grateful to have escaped that pain when her sisters had suffered? And what monster of a grandmother would take a hatred of their mother out on her own grandchildren?

Sandy jumped up and moved between them on the couch. They instantly leaned onto her shoulders as she wrapped her arms around them.

“Roz really did love you, Mom. After she trusted you enough to let you in, she talked about you all the time. Even when you were yelling at her for something she did, she would grin at me, like she was basking in your attention. She knew you cared, and that you’d never hurt her. You stuck around when everyone else left her.”

They were all crying now, great hiccupping sobs. As Sandy rocked them back and forth, JJ reached across to hold Paul’s hand. One solid family unit.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING still in effect
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

“Want to take another break or power through some more? I’ve got a couple more doozies before we dig into the box. Not sure if Paul’s done.”

“I’d rather see what’s in the box before I say anything else. There are some things that might be better in her own words, things I never fully understood.”

“Okay. Jen? Break or keep going?”

JJ was already emotionally drained, and crying jag #3 was surely not to be the last of the day. All this new information about her sister was appreciated, but…

“How about we finish our stories, then take a break to call Will and Erica while we get dinner together? Ask them to go ahead and grab dinner out somewhere and take Katie to the hotel.”

“I agree. Don’t want to scare her by being so upset.” Paul rubbed his red eyes.

“Then, we can look at the box contents after we eat. I’m getting tired, but I don’t want to rush through this.”

Sandy stood and fondly looked down at them, then nodded decisively and declared “Potty break.” Her kids snickered as she walked out of the room, but soon set about a mid-marathon cleanup. JJ swept a small mountain of tissues into a garbage can and swapped out her blanket for one less tear-soaked. Paul took empty bowls and bottles to the kitchen, returning with another round. They each headed off to a bathroom when Sandy came back. As they re-entered the living room, Sandy was setting down three glasses of something amber-colored.

“I hope Will won’t mind. I needed something a little stronger for this next part.” Her hand shook as she brushed her hair behind her ear.

“Mom, are you all right?” JJ asked.

“I stand by the fact that you didn’t need to know this all those years ago, but I think it’s important you hear it now. I’ve held onto it long enough. I hope you’ll understand why I waited. Go on, sit down.”

JJ and Paul shared a wary look and moved back to the couch, by silent agreement sitting closer together this time.

“Forgive me as I work up to this. A little backstory first, hmm? Like I told you before, Jen, Hank was very close-lipped about the past. The little I know about his marriage to Alice mostly came from conversations with his mother or Roz, or from off-hand comments he made without realizing it. I still believe he was a good man.” Sandy’s voice cracked and she took a sip from her glass. “I never would have married him, brought him into your life, Paul, if I thought otherwise. But as I learned more after his death… some of his past decisions have tested me. More pieces are falling into place now, knowing about Alice and your sisters. I imagine it was hard on him to have lost them. But his relationship with Roz, it never sat well with me.”

JJ narrowed her eyes, and Sandy was quick to wave her hands in denial.

“No, nothing like that! He loved you and Roz, but I never understood why he kept himself so distant from you girls. He was so much more open with his emotions with me. Meeting Evelyn, I thought that was just how he was raised. Now that I know more of the story, I can see how painful it must have been for him to hide the truth from you. Maybe the shame or anger over what happened kept him closed off? I don’t know, I’m putting words in his mouth. I suppose we’ll never really get an answer about that, but I’m choosing to see it that way. He’d better have been ashamed of splitting you girls up.” Her eyes went hard before she shook off the mood. “Anyways, he was much more distant with Roz than you. I’m assuming now that was because she also knew the secrets. Probably fought him on it.”

Paul nodded. “She used to rant about immature parents making stupid decisions, not realizing how much they impact their children’s lives. I thought it was only about Alice, but it was probably him, too. She did a lot of things just to try and make him angry.”

Sandy shook her head sadly. When she spoke, her voice was a whisper. “Yeah. Immature. She probably knew, then.”

They all sat in silence for a while as Sandy breathed through her distress. JJ spun her glass and stared at the shifting facets while she drifted through memories of her father. Analyzing them from new angles.

Eventually, Sandy cleared her throat and continued. “You may already know this. I was never told directly, but figured it out after a delightful encounter with Evelyn. Roz was a surprise. I believe Alice and Hank hadn’t known each other long when she got pregnant, sometime around the end of her high school senior year. Hank was 21. This, of course, was unacceptable to his mother, and she forced them to marry before the end of the summer. It can’t have been the best foundation for a relationship.”

“Makes sense. Guess that story Roz told me about Alice being tricked into marrying Hank was at least partially true. Explains some other things.” Paul’s face twisted in discomfort.

JJ turned to him. “Like what?”

“Nope. I get why we’re doing this. I appreciate putting together some more pieces of the Roz puzzle, but I am not going to sit here and discuss my sister’s sex life.” He reached for his beer, his face red with embarrassment.

Though still wrapped up in the heavy emotions of the day, JJ found his awkwardness somewhat hilarious and a welcome reprieve. It brightened her eyes as she prepared to tease him mercilessly. “Oh, really? And just what did you know about Roz’s sex life?”

All he could manage was a mumbled, “Same friends. Same parties.”

“Well, unfortunately for you, honey, that’s where I’m headed.” Sandy suddenly threw back the rest of her whisky and exhaled loudly. “Roz was pregnant when she died.”

*****

“And that’s when Paul said, ‘Screw it. I’m getting drunk,’ so we called you guys to change the plan.”

JJ lay flopped over the edge of her bed, hair hanging down as she struggled to pull on a pair of leggings.

“We ordered food. Mom and I followed Paul’s bad example. Took turns reading letters and diaries from the box. Laughing, crying, cringing ensued. Think we maxed out on anguish. Rest of it wasn’t so awkward and stressful. Could be alcohol talking, but whatever. How was the rest of your night?”

Her words were a bit slurred, but still pretty coherent. Not that she cared. She welcomed the floaty numbness after such a trying day.

“It was fine. Erica and I were a little preoccupied, worrying about you two, but Katelyn had a blast. I think Henry liked the alpaca at the zoo. He’s been great all day.”

“Sorry we kicked you guys out of the house. Thanks for being so understanding, babe. You’re so great.”

“No problem. Erica suggested I stock the bag with extra formula and diapers before we left the house, and we’re still good. We got ourselves a nice little bachelor pad for the night so we can’t be accused of keeping the ladies awake, and we’re all settled in.”

“Good idea! He’s not a nice roommate.”

She heard Will snort at her childishly scolding tone.

“Just how drunk did you get?”

“I dunno, but Paul owes you a bottle of whisky. Mom and I switched to wine. We survived the box!” She punched the air as she clumsily slid off the bed to sit on the floor and pull on a pair of fuzzy socks.

“Cher, are you still drunk?”

“Maybe a little.”

“Well, do me a favor. Go drink a glass of water right now. You don’t want to be miserable when you call your sisters tomorrow.”

“You really are the best. Always taking care of me.”

“Drink that water and get some sleep, cher. We’ll see you in the morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are reading these stories concurrently, Chapter 9 of Shaken and Stirred continues from here.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This follows Chapter 9 of Shaken and Stirred if you're reading these chronologically.
> 
> I've tried to break Sunday into logical sections, but it doesn't split evenly. This chapter's on the long side... Much angst ahead as we wrap up the JJ-focused portion of this story-verse.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING still in effect.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds, Higher Ground, or Hawaii Five-0.

JJ woke to her nose being repeatedly smacked. She opened her eyes briefly before clamping them shut and reaching out blindly for her son.

“Hey, baby!” she whispered. “Come snuggle with Mama.”

Will laughed as he laid Henry on her chest.

“Shh.” The throbbing in her skull only increased with the quick demand.

He kindly lowered his voice. “There’s water and pain pills on the table beside you. You good with him? Or should he come help me and the girls make breakfast for our brave box warriors?”

She cracked one eye to glare at him. Henry chose that moment to release a rather impressive squeal at Mama’s face-making, and she cringed in agony.

“Take him. Train us a tiny Emeril. I need a shower.”

“Okay, cher. We’ll see you downstairs soon.”

He patiently waited until she was done peppering Henry with kisses before heading downstairs.

*****

“Oh, no.” JJ stared at her phone in horror.

“What the matter, Aunt JJ?”

Paul popped up to look over JJ’s shoulder and hooted out a laugh. “Aunt JJ sent a silly message to her sister last night.”

“While you were…” Erica winced. “Ooh.”

“Mmhmm.” She dropped her aching head into her hand.

“Anything bad?” Sandy asked, taking a bite of her eggs.

Reading the message again, she decided, “No. Just terminally embarrassing.”

Sandy snatched her phone to survey the damage. “Aww!”

JJ 10:12 p.m. – _im do hppy ur my isster!!! i mossd hvinh a isstr! palu is grr8 but hes not a soster hees mt borthee . jessis a good sitser 2 .. shrs sweet sa sguar. wnat 2 meet pual 2mro??? Hess cooll_

Shelby 10:27 p.m. _– I’m happy you’re my sister too. <3 We’d love to meet Paul tomorrow. Looks like you’re having fun :) _

“Chalk it up to life experience and add it to your pathetically short bad-girl list, goody-goody.” Paul shoveled in pancakes and bacon.

He looked far too steady this morning. And so did Sandy, for that matter. Why was JJ the only one suffering? She chucked a grape at her brother’s head and promptly curled her arms around her head in agony when he miraculously caught it with his teeth and proceeded to do a raucous victory dance, cheered on by his daughter.

“Shut up. Please,” she begged. “Thank God I fell asleep right after I sent that. I can’t even write back and explain yet because of the time difference. They’re going to think I’m a dr—” JJ eyed her niece. “a ditzy… idiot.”

A chuckling Will kissed her cheek and handed her a piece of bacon. “Nah, they’ll just think it’s funny. Let’s go see some sights. We’ll keep your mind off it. Right, Katie?”

“Yep!”

*****

“You sure you want to do this today?” JJ watched her brother move chairs as she set up the computer. Her drunken self hadn’t checked with him before offering his presence on the call, so he’d had to rearrange his family’s travel plans so they could stay through the afternoon.

“Yeah. Absolutely. I’m a little late on my follow through, but I’ve got a promise to keep. I’m taking care of all of you. Starting now.”

His face had gone serious and determined, shadowed in a guilt that made JJ’s heart clench.

“Okay. Just don’t push for too much too fast. They may take a little time to warm up to you. We’re still getting acquainted ourselves.”

Her concern for him slid away as his eyes lit with mischief.

“I’m adorable. They’ll love me so much faster than you.”

She worried her lip. “I know.”

It was true, Paul had such an open personality that he’d never had trouble connecting with people, always putting people at ease. It was one of the things she loved most about him, but today, she was dreading the results. The new bonds she’d built with her sisters seemed so fragile. Especially at a distance. Of course, he could read it all on her face and quickly set down the chair he held.

“Hey, hey. I’m just the comic-relief overprotective step-brother here. You’re their sister. I’m not threatening that.” He pulled her in for a hug. “Sorry for teasing, Jenny.”

She snuggled into his shoulder for a moment. “I’m still a little raw from yesterday.”

“Me too.”

“Can you give me a couple minutes with them first?”

“Sure. I’m going to go make sure my kid’s not two inches from the television. Call me when you’re ready.” He kissed the top of her head and walked out.

JJ kept checking the clock and fidgeting until the call finally came through and two boxes popped up on her screen. She put on her best smile.

“Hey there, isster! How’s it going?”

“Missed you, sitser!”

“Oh, come on!” JJ dropped her face into her hands in shame. She’d expected no less.

“Hi, Aunty JJ!”

Perking up, she grabbed onto the lifeline. “Hi, Ginny! How are you?”

“I’m great! I climbded a mountain dis week!”

“Really? Wow! You must be so tired. I don’t think I could climb a mountain.”

Jess giggled. “Especially not yesterday.”

Desperately ignoring her sisters, JJ focused on engaging the sweet ball of sunshine sitting on Shelby’s lap.

“Which mountain did you climb, Ginny?”

“De one wif de flags. I got to ride wif Uncle Peter and Mommy in de truck most of de way dere. Den we climbded for de last part.”

“Dog’s Peak,” Shelby explained. “It’s a rite-of-passage hike that some of our kids choose to do their senior year. One kid leads a team through the hike, facing a bunch of challenges along the way, then they get to hang their personal flag at the summit. We had some big storms roll through this winter, and it’s been warm enough recently that we finally could go up and check on the flags. For the kids, it’s a three- to four-day hike over 30 miles. We took the shortcut.”

“Nice. Did you two plant flags before you graduated?”

“We did. I may be sweet as sguar, but I’m scrappy, too.”

JJ just glared in defeat, which only caused them to laugh louder.

“Mommy! Aunty Jess! Stop being mean!”

With a grateful smile for her defender and a haughty look for the other two, JJ said, “Thank you, Ginny. It’s not nice to laugh at other people, even when they did something silly.”

“Dat’s what Daddy said.” The little girl nodded solemnly.

“He sounds like a smart man.”

“Ehn.” Jess wobbled her hand, an unrelenting smirk.

“So, I’ve got a bunch of people here that would love to say hi. You ready for that? Any preferences?”

“Well, bring in Paul first. We already agreed to meet him,” Shelby said with a kinder smile.

JJ got up and went to the door. She yelled, “Get in here, Paul. I need backup!” and returned to her chair.

A minute later, his head popped around the door frame. “You bellowed?” He straightened and walked over to the computer, zeroing in on the screen. “Well, hello, ladies! Nice to meet you.”

“Hi, I’m Jess. It’s great to meet you, borthee.”

“And I’m Shelby. You are quite mountainous.”

Tossing her hands up in exasperation, JJ groaned, “Would you cut it out already!”

It only took Paul a minute to connect the dots back to JJ’s drunken text and catch the devilish twinkles in their eyes. He grinned in delight. “It’s true, I’m not a soster, but I most certainly am grrr8!” He did his best Tony the Tiger impression as the girls cackled.

JJ smacked the back of her hand against his stomach. “I can leave.”

“No! Don’t leave, Aunty JJ! Mommy, who is dat? Why’s he being mean, too. You need to stop.”

Shelby hugged her daughter close. “All right. I’m sorry, baby. We’re done teasing. Ginny, this is Aunty JJ’s brother, Paul.”

Paul’s smile turned sheepish. “Your brother too. I’m Uncle Paul, and Ginny, I’m so glad you’re looking out for Jen ‘cause that’s been my job, and it gets tough sometimes. I appreciate the help. Especially now I’ve got two more sisters to take care of. I’ll be a busy guy.”

Ginny scrunched her face in confusion. “Who’s Jen?”

“That’s what I call your Aunt JJ.”

“Okay.” The little girl seemed to contemplate that for a minute. “If you take care of her, den why are you mean to her?”

He cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “That’s a good question. You’re really smart, Ginny. I guess… sometimes, we do silly things to show how much we like people. Thanks for setting us straight. Are you a teacher at Horizon?”

“No, silly! I’m too little.”

“Oh, well, maybe next year, when you’re a little bigger. Jess, Shelby, you up for a couple more introductions? We have to hit the road soon. Katie’s got school tomorrow.”

When they both agreed, he got up to fetch his family. JJ watched both of her sisters discreetly brush at their eyes.

“I like Mt. Borthee,” Jess said quietly.

JJ nodded. “He’s pretty special.”

Soon, Paul returned with his girls in tow. JJ stepped to the back as they all crowded into frame, with Paul and Katie grabbing the chairs.

“Ginny, I’d like you to meet your Aunt Erica and cousin Katie.”

“Hi, Katie! Hi, Aunty Erica!”

Paul pointed to the screen. “Katie, this is your cousin Ginny and her mom—who’s your Aunt Shelby—and your Aunt Jess.”

Erica waved at the screen.

“Hi!” Katie smiled brightly and leaned forward. “Whoa! You look just like Aunt JJ! There are two sets of twins in my class at school. It’s so cool. You two should try switching places sometime. Like in _The Parent Trap_.”

Paul huffed out a pained breath and JJ clamped her hand onto his shoulder. He immediately brought his own up for a mutually comforting squeeze.

Shelby must have seen their reaction because she quickly spoke up. “The twin thing is cool, but I doubt we’ll do much switching. I don’t think the F.B.I. would like it if I tried to do JJ’s job.”

“And I can’t picture JJ surviving long in the forest,” Erica added, stepping behind Paul’s chair and rubbing a hand up and down his arm. “Sorry, but it’s true.” She gently hip-bumped her sister-in-law.

“It absolutely is. I’m not very woodsy. But Ginny promised to help me so I can go camping with her, eventually.”

Paul started to laugh, but he caught Ginny’s disapproving look and turned it into a cough. “I’m sure you’ll do great, Jen! You’ve got a great guide.”

“She sure does. How old are you, Ginny?” Erica redirected the little defender’s attention.

“Four.” She held up her fingers. “My birfday’s before Christmas.”

“Katie just turned eleven this month. She’s been enjoying Girl Scouts, earning all kinds of badges and learning new things. She’s got some camping ones, I think. Right, Katie?”

“Yep, I’ve got a hiking badge, a trail adventure badge, an eco camper badge, and a first aid badge.”

“That’s fantastic, Katie!” Shelby replied. “We’ll have to figure out a way to get you girls together sometime. I bet you’d have a lot of fun.”

She bounced Ginny gently on her knee and leaned the girl back against her shoulder. Ginny’s eyes were beginning to droop, but she was fighting tooth and nail to stay awake and chat with the new family.

JJ caught Paul’s attention and motioned toward the sleepy girl. “Well, I’m sure they’d love to stay and chat all day, but these guys should be getting on the road now. We can arrange another call with everybody again soon.”

A chorus of goodbyes and promises to keep in touch followed. JJ muted her computer but left the call open as she ushered Paul’s family out of the room and saw them off to Pennsylvania.

When she returned, Jess was alone on the screen.

“Guess we timed that well.”

“I hope you didn’t push Paul out just for Ginny’s nap.”

“No, they’ve got a four-hour drive back. They just hung around long enough to meet you.”

“Big trip for a weekend.”

“Yep.” JJ’s mood was dropping, now that Paul had left. “Big reason.”

“Want to talk about it?”

She did and she didn’t. But that was the whole point of these calls, right? Continuing to share more about their lives, getting to know each other and building relationships.

“Yeah, but let’s wait for Shelby. Tell me something good about your week?”

“I helped decorate the hospital for Mardi Gras. Went around and gave all the kids beads. We’re going to do a mini staff parade through the halls with canned jazz music and goofy wigs, hats, and homemade instruments on Tuesday. So fun!”

“That sounds like a fantastic mood booster for the patients.”

“We like to vamp up the holidays to keep everyone cheerful.”

“I’m back!” Shelby dropped into her chair. “She was out pretty fast. What are we talking about?”

“Interesting stuff you did this week. You’re up,” Jess commanded.

“Um… I chased a runner through the woods and got dumped in the lake by a canoer. He tried to pet a duck and overbalanced when it pecked at him. I know I’m trained for that, but I hate, truly hate swimming in my clothes. We were only out because it had been a few days of oddly warm weather. Was not enough to warm the water. Plus, the kids always freak out when canoes flip.”

“Yeah, newbies are so helpless and clumsy.” Jess rolled her eyes.

JJ was intrigued. “How do you know it’s a new student?”

“It was. They learn basic skills pretty quickly, unless they’re seriously uncoordinated. And the seasoned kids are smart enough to pair up fast, so the counselor often gets stuck with the newbies. We wind up in a lot of entertaining situations because of it.”

“So, you had a new student in February? Isn’t that kind of late in the year?”

“Kids come and go all through the year, depending on their situation. I got dropped here in June. Jess showed up in April. Some families plan it out based on the school year, but more often, it comes down to whatever’s happening in their life to bring them here,” Shelby explained.

“That’s great. Rolling enrollment, so a kid in need never has to wait.”

“Exactly. The school-year/grade-level aspect of it can get a little difficult, but it all gets worked out.”

“And it’s not quite as transient as we just made it sound.” Jess opened a can of something fizzy and took a sip. “Most of the kids that come stick around for a good stretch of time. Each group typically only gets a few new students each year.”

“Right, although in my first year, we had a lot of turnover for some reason. But most of us stayed through graduation after we got there.”

“And you were a Cliffhanger.”

“Sophie’s first, best, and favorite group. There are 10-12 different groups at any given time, with rolling members, different ages, mostly co-ed.”

“Remind me, Jess, you were a…”

“I was a Wind Dancer. That’s the all-girls group. We had a good bunch.”

“And your group now is the Storm Singers. I love the names. Do they indicate a group theme, or something like that?”

“No, at least not much anymore. They may have originally. New arrivals usually just get assigned to groups based on available beds and probable compatibility with the other kids and the counselors.”

“Makes sense.”

“So, did you get up to anything interesting during the week, JJ?” Shelby pumped some new energy into her voice.

“Case in Cleveland took up a big chunk of it.”

“Ooh, what happened?” Jess’s eyes went wide.

JJ grimaced. She wasn't eager to share this part of her life with her sisters. “Umm… I can tell you some of it, but can we do a quick disclaimer talk before I do?”

Shelby sighed and began picking at her nails. “We’re familiar. With Steve, most of the stuff he does and places he goes are Classified. I got used to vague and redacted conversations. Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s not that exactly. A lot of my cases you could read about in the news if you really want, I just can’t disclose details of the investigations. It’s more of a mood-killer warning. My work is important, and I love it and my team, but it’s not happy talk for most people. And definitely not Ginny-friendly. It’s violence and trauma and injustice and danger. I’ll tell you what I can about anything you want to discuss, but you have to promise that you’ll stop me if you get upset or decide you don’t want to hear any more. Okay?”

“Yeah, I think all our jobs fall in a similar category. I get it.” Shelby gave a small smile.

“That’s true. Hospital work is not the best for polite conversation either. I promise.”

“Still want to hear about Cleveland? It was a weird one.” JJ felt reassured by their easy acceptance, but she was still a little grossed out by this case herself.

“Sure. Start broad.” Jess sipped her drink again.

Shelby nodded.

“Well, it turned out to be a young serial killer who was copying famous serial killers. Every murder a different method, until he figured out what he liked best. We got him, in part, because he had these beautiful black-and-white framed photos on his walls. They were of his kill sites.”

“Creepy. You said ‘in part.’ What else helped you catch him?” Jess looked fascinated.

“It’s a pretty high ick factor. You sure you want to hear?”

With a wave of her hand, Shelby encouraged her to get on with it. “Yeah. This once, at least.”

“Ginny can’t hear us, right?”

“No, I turned some quiet music on to help her sleep.”

“The guy had a girlfriend who had no idea what he was. Apparently, he would only be with her outside. She thought he was just into exhibitionism and the thrill of potentially getting caught—"

Jess plunked her drink down on the table and leaned back. “Oh, yuck. I see where you’re headed and you don’t need to finish. Wow. That poor girl.”

“Yeah, she’s unlikely to be online dating again anytime soon.”

A visible shudder ran through Shelby. “Switching to a topic that’s more fun for us, through maybe not for you… wanna tell us what led to your delightful message last night, soster?”

JJ groaned. “Arguably amusing result of a very difficult day. I swear I do not drink very often. Actually, that’s probably why I sent you that message. I’ve lost my tolerance with a year of forced sobriety.”

“Ah, babies. They bring out the most interesting sides of us.”

“Shelby once called me at three in the morning to ask if I’d finished my homework and fed the cat. I was long out of school by that point, and we’ve never owned a cat. She was just delirious from sleep deprivation.”

“Yeah, I moved back to Washington not long after that one. I was so lucky to have my Horizon family.”

“Steve got deployed again?”

“Mmhm. So. Night on the town?” Shelby wasn’t letting her off the hook.

“No. No, nothing fun like that. Though after last night, I’d consider going with them. They were entertaining. Who knew Mom could shoot whisky like that?” JJ was talking mostly to herself now, quickly getting lost in a haze of memories of the previous night.

“Your mom? You got drunk with Sandy?”

“And Paul. It helped.” Internally, she gave a dry little chuckle. “We ran out of tears. Needed to re-hydrate.”

The girls stared at her, stunned and confused by that statement.

Deeply concerned, Shelby began, “Um… Pretty sure you’re joking, and you said you don’t drink often, so I’m going to let that ridiculous idea slide. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” JJ inhaled sharply and shook herself back to the present. “Yeah, I think Mom and Paul felt a little left out of last weekend’s emotional stress-fest, so they staged their own.”

“JJ. Apparently, you share my talent for covering pain with sarcasm, but please don’t. What happened? Can we help?”

“No, it’s fine. It was just a lot in one day. Sorry, it’s still kind of raw.” She cleared her throat. “Roz stuff.”

“Oh. Is that why Paul came to see you?”

“Mm. Yeah. But it’s pretty heavy stuff. I won’t throw it all at you without any warning.”

“You can tell us now.” Jess looked very wary, but obviously wanted to soothe her sister.

“No,” she said firmly. “I’m not doing that to you. Based on my reaction, and some of our reactions last weekend, we can talk about Roz when you’re both together or have support nearby. When you’re ready. Doesn’t need to be today. I know I have way deeper feelings about Roz ‘cause, you know, history and… trauma… but I can’t spring this stuff on you if I know there’s even a chance you might react like I did. If I hadn’t had Mom and Paul there…”

“Shel?”

JJ watched as her sisters shared a near-silent virtual conversation full of twitches, grunts, and eye-rolls.

“How bad was your reaction, JJ?”

She cringed and looked away. “I may have gone slightly catatonic. Just for a little bit. But that was mostly because Paul was messed up about it himself, sprung it on me, and then had no idea what to do when I freaked. Mom talked me out of it pretty quickly once he called her in a panic.”

JJ couldn’t make herself look at their faces, though she heard someone’s breathing speed up. Her hands fisted in her hair as she squeezed her eyes shut.

“Look, Paul and I have barely ever spoken about Roz in the years since she died. For a long time, Mom never really forced the issue ‘cause she was hurting too. Then, we would just shut her down whenever she tried to make us talk. After one weekend at Horizon, seeing how open you all are, how talking through things actually helps… I mean, I knew that in theory, but maybe I wasn’t ready to let it sink in. God, I am realizing that I am nowhere near as okay as I thought I was, finally understanding just how bad it is that I’ve pushed it all down for so long. Meeting you guys has brought everything to the surface, hasn’t given me a choice. I’m stuck dealing with it now. Mom pounced on that. She pushed about ‘how would I be able to answer your questions if I could hardly speak about Roz with Mom.’ When she got here, she sat us down and made us all talk, share stories, secrets. There was a lot of stuff I never knew about her. It was a hard day. Hence the drunk text.” JJ drew in a large gulp of air. “Wow, so much rambling.”

There was a prolonged silence before Jess asked, “Is your mom still there?”

JJ felt the beginnings of panic rising in her chest. She hadn’t expected them to want to get into this today. Wasn’t sure she could handle another round so soon.

“Yeah, but I told you, it can wait. I don’t want to push you into anyth—"

“I’m the only one solo today, and I’ve got the night off. Give me a couple hours, I can be back at Horizon with Shelby.”

“I can call Gracie to keep Ginny overnight again, and let Peter and Sophie know we might need them. If you’re ready to talk about Roz, we’re ready to hear it. Just say the word.”

JJ took some deep breaths to calm herself and scrutinized their faces, looking for any sign that they were just appeasing her and were actually as terrified of this conversation as she was. Jess seemed determined. Shelby looked a little nervous, but resolved.

“Are you sure?”

“Yep. There’s no point in slowing down this whole getting-to-know-you process just to space out the uncomfortable conversations. And if we don’t talk today, we probably won’t pick this back up until next weekend. Then we’d just be stewing, imagining what made you so upset. If you’re ready, we’re ready. Let’s wrap some of this up and see where it takes us. Reconvene at 4:00 Pacific?”

JJ felt a little steam-rolled, but Jess was right. It would be nice to just get it out there and move on. No point waiting ‘til next weekend. She could do this.

“All right. …Do you mind if Mom joins us? In case I get stuck.” JJ’s timid request was met with sympathetic smiles.

“Fine with me.”

“I’d like to talk with her again.” Shelby finally spoke.

JJ felt a little more of her tension release. “Okay, thanks. It’s totally okay with me if you want Peter or Sophie, or both of them, there too.”

“We’ll think about it. All right, I’m grabbing my stuff now. See you soon, Shel.” With a brief wave, Jess disconnected from the call.

After an awkward minute of silence, Shelby said, “You know… everything you said earlier, about pushing things down? I’m amazed at how quickly you’re realizing and committing to addressing that. It’s not easy to do.” She was looking down.

JJ felt her stomach clench. Shelby’s mood was exactly why she tried to put this off to another day. They had talked her into pushing ahead. Well, Jess had. She chose her words carefully.

“Shelby, based on my experience in law enforcement and some of the things you all have said, I can make a few guesses about what happened to you and Jess, but I don’t _need_ to know anything. If it takes weeks or months or years before you’re comfortable enough to talk about it with me, I’ll understand. I’ve got questions about Alice, and some of the Roz stuff runs into Alice stuff, but you can pull back or stop me anytime. Just remember that I am not going anywhere. Our backgrounds may be a little different, but clearly, I’ve got my own issues. You can’t scare me off. And I’d like to be there for you, like you’re doing for me. Whenever you’re ready.”

“Okay. Thanks.” Shelby sniffed and blew out a deep breath, continuing with a hard smile. “I need to go arrange things here. Back online at 4?”

“Yeah. See you then.”

After Shelby disappeared from the screen, JJ just leaned back in her chair and placed her hands over her face, breathing through a surge of what-did-I-just-agree-to panic. But it came and went. The prospect of sharing her newly-discovered knowledge of Roz with her sisters, of actually speaking about Roz openly, wasn’t quite as terrifying and jaw-locking as it had been before yesterday.

She jolted slightly when a knock sounded at the door.

“All done?” Sandy poked her head in, frowning. “I was hoping to say hi.”

“Well, I can offer you more than that. If you’re up for it. Want to relive yesterday with me? Except minus the alcohol. The girls want me to talk about Roz.”

“And you hung up on them? Jen—”

“No, Mom! We’re getting back on the call in a couple hours. I refused to talk about Roz when Jess was by herself. I’d never forgive myself if she reacted like I did and no one was there to help.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Sandy walked over and kissed her forehead. “Of course, I’ll sit with you girls for this. Let’s go get some dinner while we wait. No sense sitting around and stressing about it.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING still in effect.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds, Higher Ground, or Hawaii Five-0.

“Hotch, this won’t become a habit, I swear, but I need tomorrow off. Unless something really big comes up.” JJ chewed on her fingernail as she paced her bedroom.

“Of course. Everything okay?” His voice was layered in that uniquely-Hotch blend of stern and compassionate.

“Remember I told you Paul was coming to visit and he wanted to talk about my sister?”

“Yes.”

“As predicted, great big bomb of emotion. Ended up with Mom joining us too, and we spent Saturday afternoon and evening diving into all things Roz.”

She heard a rustling of fabrics and imagined him leaning back on his leather couch. There was also what could only be kid-show music playing in the background. He must have Jack for the weekend.

“Want to talk about it?”

“Thanks, but no. The reason I want to take tomorrow off is my sisters asked me to share everything with them. They both happen to be free today, so we’re meeting online again in an hour, and I have no idea how late this will go. If we can handle it, I’d rather just power through as much as possible and not have to keep doing these major… events. I’m not sure how zombie-like I’ll be tomorrow. It’s been kind of non-stop since Washington, Hotch, and I just need a day to cuddle with Henry and recover.”

“Makes sense. Take care of yourself, JJ, and don’t push too hard. We like having you back.”

“I’m glad to be back. Say hi to Jack for me.”

“I will. See you Tuesday.”

*****

“Aaaaand we’re back! Hey, Sandy.” Shelby and Jess were further away from their camera than normal, sitting at the center of the couch in JJ’s cabin.

“Hi, girls! Good to see you again.”

JJ hadn’t spoken yet, but was twisting her hands in her lap, racking her brain for where to begin.

In an obvious effort to cut the tension, Shelby suddenly jumped up in front of the camera and said in a strange, serious voice, “Do you have your drama buddy?”

JJ scrunched up her face in confusion, but Sandy laughed out loud and threw her arms tightly around JJ.

“Yes!”

Shelby looked pleased and reached off-camera to pull Peter in for her own hug as Jess pulled in Sophie.

Then, Jess adopted a squeaky voice and said, “Good afternoon! We’re gonna have a great talk today!

It finally clicked for JJ. “ _Finding Nemo_ , right? I watched that with Hotch’s son, Jack, once.”

“Yep. Steve loves that movie. He and Ginny love to recite the turtle lines. They watch it every time he’s here.”

Peter shook his head as they all sat back down on the couch. “We can all recite it. Thanks to Ginny and the Swann kids, I've seen it more times than I can count.”

Sandy offered, “It’s been a frequent request of Katie’s, too.”

“When Henry gets into movies, go for that one. It’s pretty great,” Shelby advised her twin.

“Noted. And thanks.” She smiled at her sisters.

“Anytime!”

“Hi, Sophie, Peter. How’s the mountain?”

“Still standing. How about you?” Peter asked.

“Still standing.” She looked down at her chair and added, “Figuratively.”

“Glad to hear it.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sophie toast her with a water glass.

“The girls told us you’ve all been talking through some tough stuff this weekend.”

“Oh, we had ourselves a time last night.” Sandy squeezed her arm around JJ’s shoulders. “Bless his heart, but when Erica told me what Paul was up to, I knew I just had to drive back to D.C. to help. I suppose cornering the kids and forcing the conversation may not have been the best way to go about it, but we made it through.”

“Sometimes it has to be done. Did it help, JJ?”

JJ smiled to herself and said quietly, “We survived the box.” She added a mini fist pump, still staring at the floor. Eventually, she looked up. “Thanks for being here for this, guys. When I told Shelby and Jess that I wouldn’t discuss it while they were alone, I never expected them to pull this together so fast. I think I’m a little out of my depth. Or the weekend’s catching up to me. I don’t know how to start.”

It was Peter who offered a suggestion. “Well, last weekend, you walked through everything in order. Why don’t you try that first? Why’d Paul come to visit?”

“Okay, well it starts off with the biggest bombshell. This is where I reacted badly.”

Sandy began rubbing her hand along JJ’s arm.

“Paul was looking for stuff from our childhood to share with you two, and he rediscovered a box full of mementos that Roz left for him after… after her… after her d-death.” She exhaled in proud relief. “Poor guy. He never really looked through it back then. Too painful. So, when he started pulling stuff out now, he knew he had to show me.” She reached down and lifted the box in question. “He let me keep it.”

JJ set the box on her lap and opened it facing the camera. With tears already spilling from her eyes, she picked up a couple handfuls of the first layer contents. “It’s full of bits and pieces of her life, concert tickets, jewelry, pictures. But Erica showed Paul that there’s a second layer to the box.” She moved to lift the tray, but paused with her hands gripping the sides. “He feels so horrible about not noticing this sooner. Please don’t hold it against him. See, Roz left a note with the box. ‘Please take care of them.’ He assumed it meant her treasures inside, and he dutifully kept the box safe for years, but…” She removed the tray and held the full family portrait up to the camera. “You guys were in here.”

From behind the photo, JJ heard a chorus of gasps, quickly followed by crying. She identified the louder crying as Jess, and peeked around the photo to see that Shelby had gone stoic again. She set the photo aside and reached for her mom’s hands.

“Shelby?”

“I’m okay, JJ. Just give me a minute.” Shelby got up and walked off-camera.

“I got her, honey, don’t worry. We’ll be back. Sit tight.” Sophie shifted Jess to Peter’s shoulder and went after her.

*****

A nerve-racking 15 minutes later, Jess had recovered, and they were making awkward small talk when Sophie walked back in and took her place on the couch.

“Everything’s fine. She’ll be here in a minute.”

Shelby did indeed return after a minute, now wearing an oversize Navy hoodie. Her eyes were red, but she seemed okay.

“I’m sorry, Shelby.”

“Nothing for you to be sorry about. This all falls on Alice and Hank. Not you. Not Paul. We all got cheated out of something special.”

Jess’s gaze hardened, and she gave a sharp nod of agreement with her sister.

“Hear, hear. I loved the man, but everything I’ve learned this last week has me so angry with him. I’m glad you can see the truth of it, dear.” Sandy smiled proudly.

“Are you girls ready to keep going?” Peter asked.

JJ nodded towards the camera. “Their choice.”

“We’re good.” Shelby raised her hand in a go-ahead gesture and her sleeve slid back to reveal bruised and broken skin over her knuckles.

“Shelby, your hand!” JJ cried out.

Shelby quickly pulled the sleeve back over her hand and tucked both arms into the front pocket of the hoodie. “Don’t worry about it. I took a few bare-knuckled swings at the punching bag before Sophie caught up and made me put on the gloves. I’m fine.”

JJ’s heart clenched at that, but at least her sister’s reaction had been active instead of frozen.

Peter kissed the side of Shelby’s head, and she leaned sideways onto his shoulder.

He looked back to the camera and said, “Ready when you are, JJ. What’s next?”

Sandy took the opportunity to speak. “Peter, I know you told Jen to go chronologically through what happened yesterday, but may I suggest a different approach?”

“Of course. What’s your idea?”

Sandy turned and placed her hand on JJ’s knee.

“Sweetheart, remember your sisters have no context here. When you and Paul and I told those stories, we already knew all the best parts of Roz. We were sharing her secrets. Why don’t we just introduce them to Rosalyn? To Roz. The new info will fit in with the old, the good with the bad. It might help you process it all better, too. I think you’ve spoken more about Roz and her death today, than you did over the last decade, before yesterday. You’re doing so well.”

“Yeah, okay.” JJ agreed, but then remained silent.

Sophie nudged her along. “How would you describe Rosalyn? Sum her up, first.”

JJ’s face shifted through a few different emotions as she lined it all up.

“Well… if I was describing her to you last week, I would have said fun, rebellious… a little angry… caring, but distant.” Then, the words began to flow. “She was my big sister, but she was six years older and didn’t have a lot of interest in playing with her baby sister. When I was little—this is the ‘80s, remember—I thought she was so cool. Picture acid washed jean everything, lots of neon and animal print, mini-skirts with leggings and leg-warmers, chunky plastic jewelry. When she got to high school, she added in some Madonna-inspired lace and leather, leotards, loads of hairspray, heels. Kind of MTV cool, with a dash of punk. And then in the last year, edging towards grunge. I’ve got pictures I can show you later.”

She got lost in the memories for a moment, reanalyzing how her perceptions of Roz had been right or wrong, until Sandy gently elbowed her side.

“I was four or five when Dad first met Sandy, six when they got married, so I didn’t mind all that much, that Roz wasn’t interested in me. I had a fascinating new brother to follow around.”

Sandy hooted affectionately. “You certainly did. You were like a puppy, craving his attention those first couple years.”

“I think I understand that a little more now… Sort of a transfer of affection to the one who paid attention to me. After the wedding, Roz backed off, and he was still willing to spend time with me…” She cleared her throat. “One of the things we talked about yesterday was that, when Alice left, Roz kind of took over as my mom. Until Dad met Sandy, he had been pretty absorbed in work. His mother helped watch us, but…” She trailed off as tears filled her eyes.

“May I?”

JJ nodded to Sandy and looked away.

“Jen was too young to remember most of this, but what we discussed and discovered yesterday—from my observations when I first met the girls, from things Roz told Paul, and from some of her diary entries—was that Evelyn Jareau was a cold, heartless, uppity bitch.”

“Mom!” JJ was both scandalized and in awe.

“Well, it’s true. And I’m mad. I never liked her. She certainly didn’t like me. She disapproved of Alice, the whole marriage and the way things ended, and she took it out on Roz. Sure, she ‘helped.’” Sandy made the air quotes, voice dripping in sarcasm. “She moved in and stayed with Jen during the day, then once Roz got home from school, she’d disappear for tea with her friends or some other ridiculousness. She expected Roz to take care of everything else. I don’t know what Hank was thinking. It’s like he abandoned them the same time Alice left. Poor girl became a mother-figure at age eight. Took care of Jen, cooked meals, tidied up the house. Her early diary entries were full of missing her dad and talking about Jen’s developmental milestones. She also wrote about protecting Jen from her grandmother.”

JJ found her voice and added quietly, “Apparently, she was the violent kind of strict. Paul was pretty sure from the bits that Roz shared that Evelyn used to hit her. Roz never said it right out in her diaries, but when you read between the lines… She always tried to protect me, love me when Dad and Evelyn wouldn’t.”

“I need another break.”

JJ looked back at the screen to see a haunted Shelby. Jess was wrapped around her while Peter held her hand and Sophie stroked her hair.

“I’m sorry, I just… I’m not done—I want to hear more about her—but can we come back in like 30 minutes?”

JJ nodded, and Sandy replied for her.

“Of course, sweetheart. Take all the time you need. We’ll check in with the boys. Get Jen a snuggle.”

Peter got up to disconnect the call. “Thanks, ladies. Back in a bit.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chronologically, this follows Chapter 10 of Shaken and Stirred.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING still in effect.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

JJ smiled at her son as she fed him a bottle. She cherished these moments, when she could let everything else fall away and get lost in his adorable face. It was so easy to shut out her troubles for a little while with him in her arms.

She didn’t understand how her own parents could have been so different. Maybe they were just as absorbed when she was a baby, but grew distant over time? She swore to herself that would never happen here. Her son would have all the love and attention she could give.

Her cell phone buzzed, startling her out of baby reverie. When she saw the name on the caller ID, she passed Henry to her mother on the couch and walked to the kitchen.

“Hey, Garcia. What’s up?” Her exhaustion and worry leaked into her voice.

“Well, I was calling to arrange something fun this week, but you sound less than stellar. Why so gloomy?”

“I’m in the middle of a long Skype call with my sisters.”

“Oh! Sorry, I’ll be quick.”

“No, it’s all right. We’re not on right now. Taking a breather.”

“A phone call that requires a break. That sounds ominous. Not going well?”

“I honestly don’t know.” She sighed, pausing to choose the right words. She didn’t want to get into it all right now. “We’re talking about the past, working through some tough topics. Slowly.”

“Gotcha. Family stuff is difficult. Especially newly-discovered-secret-family stuff. But remember I’m here to listen, cheer, or distract at a moment’s notice. Anytime you want.”

“I know. Thanks.”

“And speaking of cheer and distraction… the universe must have been listening and wanted me to help because the reason I called is I just got the urge to make plans for a Girls’ Night. We haven’t had one in ages, and you, missy, need some fun. Think about what you want to do. Dinner and a show, wine and pedicures at home, club hopping and dancing… sky’s the limit. Ooh! Skydiving! Well, I’m not sure I’d love that, but for you, my angel, I would give it a shot. Ehn… maybe one of those simulator training air tunnel thingies where you’re actually only six feet off the ground and it just feels like you’re falling. That, I could totally rock. Anyways, don’t worry about it now. We can talk with Emily tomorrow.”

JJ laughed at her friend’s rambling. It made her think of Jess and her boundless, irresistible energy that she hoped they’d get back to soon. This weekend was exhausting. But, yeah, no. That would be a hard pass on skydiving from her as well.

“I’m taking tomorrow off, but I’ll think of some ideas and let you know on Tuesday.”

“Okay. Well, I hope the rest of your call goes smoothly and you have a quiet day off. Sending you oodles of positive energy and hugs.”

“Thanks, Pen.”

She closed her eyes and leaned back against the counter, imagining herself in a Garcia hug. It helped.

*****

“You are infinitely wise, JJ, and possibly my new favorite sister.” Jess waved a fork as she spoke.

JJ laughed as Shelby let out an offended “Hey!” She embraced their surprisingly playful mood, relieved they had returned to the call, even if it had taken a bit longer than they’d said. She’d come back in to check and seen a message that they’d decided to get food before continuing. Those few extra minutes had provided a welcome opportunity to re-center and prepare herself for whatever they’d wade through next.

“And why’s that? I mean, yes, of course, I’m wise and wonderful, but what clued you in?”

“Thank you for insisting we not do this when I was alone. Turns out I did have a bad reaction. Also, not my first this week, but we’ll get to that later.”

Her lightheartedness dropped away. “Oh, Jess, I’m sorry. Should we stop now?”

“No, I think I’m good.” She took a big bite of her salad.

“She burned off most of the rage.” Shelby volunteered. “See, you and I both shut down and went silent for our freak-outs—"

“Or hid in the woods.”

Shelby gave Jess an exasperated glare.

“Yes, I also ran. But Jess here… her sweet and bubbly personality hides a little volcano. It’s hard to do, but when she gets pushed far enough, watch out!”

Well, maybe her little sister wasn’t as similar to Penelope as she’d thought. Penelope didn’t bottle much of anything. Happy, angry, disgusted, hurt, she wore it all pretty close to the surface, sharing her emotions freely with any nearby friend at the first appropriate moment. When she tried to hold things in, it didn’t last long. If Jess had a deeply-hidden tangle of emotions, JJ would have to pay extra close attention to understand her better.

“And what made you so angry, Jess?”

“I did.”

JJ didn’t know what to say to Shelby’s proud statement. The others were chuckling as they ate.

“Well, Roz did too. I was in the middle of my own regressive tantrum, and I said something stupid that set Jess off. Then, she had to go and upstage me, ranting on and on until she eventually wound up mad at Roz, not me.”

“I was still mad at you.”

“Well, whatever. In any case, we moved past it.”

“Why are you mad at Roz?” JJ asked, then backpedaled quickly. “I mean, that’s fine. I am too. Have been, off and on, for years. But I can try to avoid or explain whatever made you mad.”

“I’m mad that she gave up. She left you. She left us… out there… somewhere. I know there are probably a lot of factors that led to it, but I’m still mad.”

“Yep, I’ve been through that same mad stage a few different times. Currently back in the ‘she left you guys out there’ side of it, even though I do know more of those factors now. Do you want me to keep going? I can explain some of it.”

Before they could answer, Sandy walked in the door with Henry. “You’re back! I’m sorry. I was just finishing this little man’s bottle. Let me hand him off to his daddy.”

“Wait! Hi, Henry!” They babbled at the sleepy boy from the screen for a minute before allowing her to leave.

She returned promptly and sat down, asking, “Okay, where were we?”

Jess replied. “Mad at Roz for taking the easy way out and leaving us disconnected.”

“And that goes for me, too. I was just about to explain some more about Roz. Things that probably led up to her choice. If they want.” JJ looked to the screen.

“We want. Let’s keep going.” Shelby sat back cradling her salad. “Sorry we’re eating while you talk.”

“No problem. We ate dinner after the first call. Depending on how late we go, we’ll grab something else at some point.”

“I keep forgetting the time difference! It’s late for you, we shouldn’t keep you too long.”

“Don’t worry about it. I arranged to take the day off tomorrow. And I’m used to weird hours, thanks to Henry. We can talk as long as you want.”

JJ walked them through the rest of Roz’s personality, the shift from responsibility to rebelliousness. When she carefully approached telling them about Roz’s drug use, she was relieved to see they all were unfazed and non-judgmental.

“Pretty typical for what we see here. Kids struggling, using drugs as a way to escape the pressures of their daily lives, the things that are hurting them,” Peter explained.

“It helps sometimes. Don’t hate her for it.” Shelby spoke softly. “It’s a stupid excuse, and completely unacceptable, but in the moment, it helps.”

JJ was careful to school her features as she absorbed her twin’s words. “I don’t hate her for it. I knew about her drinking when we were growing up, but she hid the drugs from me. I might not have understood back then, but I don’t judge her for it now. Especially knowing what she was dealing with.”

“I knew that she was having troubles. I caught her a few times, but I never knew the extent of it.”

Sandy sniffed. As she continued, JJ kissed her shoulder in support.

“Paul knew about it. They ran in the same circles in school. He shared with us yesterday what he had seen or heard about her experimentation with drugs. He also told us about his own past issues with alcohol and marijuana. He had a hard time in high school, after losing two fathers. And then in college, after Roz. I didn’t know about that. He kept it all hidden from me. I just wish he would have told me, that I could have helped him.”

JJ wrapped her arms around Sandy. “Me too.”

“That’s also pretty typical,” Shelby responded, looking to Sophie as she spoke. “He probably wouldn’t have let you help back then. But I’m sure he was grateful to have your love and support anyway, even when he wasn’t fully leaning on you.”

Sophie reached across Jess to squeeze Shelby’s hand as they all sat and processed in silence.

Eventually, JJ straightened and took a deep breath. She began in a purposefully light tone, “Are we ready for another bigger reveal? I think it’s the next piece of the Roz puzzle.”

She looked to her mother for confirmation, and Sandy nodded, resolve in her eyes.

“Oh, probably not, but don’t let that stop you,” Jess replied. “We’ll deal with whatever comes up.” She took a big gulp of her water.

JJ held Sandy’s gaze as they broached the new topic together.

“Well, girls, this one may get a little uncomfortable. We had Paul squirming like a worm on a hook yesterday.”

JJ snorted. “Make a guy tell you what he knows about his sister’s sex life, and he just can’t deal. This would be the conversation that started the slippery slope to my delightfully entertaining drunk text.”

“As the poor, embarrassed soul isn’t here, we’ll forego the liquid courage.”

JJ felt a clenching in her gut and instinctively spun back to the camera. Shelby was frozen, wide-eyed, and taking quick, shallow breaths. Jess didn’t look much better.

“Shit.” JJ began speaking very deliberately. “Breathe! I’m sorry! It’s not what I’m guessing you’re thinking. Let me start at the end and then we can backtrack. Roz was pregnant when she died. From a consensual, if quite inebriated, high school one-night stand. I don’t think that’s what you were scared of, right? Everything’s fine. You’re okay. Deep breaths. I’m sorry.”

She shut up then, and grabbed Sandy’s hand as they watched Peter and Sophie work to calm her sisters.

*****

After what felt like eternity, they saw Jess calm down enough to help with Shelby. She whispered in Sophie’s ear, and then stood up in front of the camera, blocking the view of the couch.

“They’re gonna go in the other room for a few minutes, get Shelby to lie down. Or punch something. That usually helps.” She muted their sound and turned around, leaving them with a blurry view of blonde curls.

Once they had cleared out, Jess moved away from the camera. She picked up her water glass and waved it at the camera before she unmuted the computer and said, “I need a refill. Be right back.” She silenced it again as she left.

JJ muted their computer as well and leaned her elbows on her knees, clasping her hands over the back of her neck. “Oh God, this must be what Paul felt like yesterday. I broke her. I feel so helpless!”

“If anything, we did this. Not just you, sweetheart. That was scary, but Peter and Sophie were there to help them. You did what you could to calm them from here. It will be okay. Try to relax.”

*****

Jess returned after five minutes or so, still looking a little jittery despite her steady breathing. They watched her gather up the dishes and debris from their dinner and exit again. By the time she reappeared at the computer, JJ’s nerves were in tatters.

“Jess, I’m so sorry.” JJ whispered. “I thought that might hit a nerve so I tried to ease into it and keep it light. Obviously, that was… Is she okay? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Just a little panic attack. It’s been a while, but they’re not unfamiliar. Rarely synchronized, though. That was new. Shelby will be okay. Peter and Sophie are talking with her now.”

“That was PTSD, wasn’t it?” Sandy asked gently.

Jess appeared to consider if or how to respond. “In some form or another, yes. She’s come so far since her first year at Horizon. She’s worked through it, found ways to cope and move past it all. She’s got degrees in Psychology and helps kids through this stuff every day. But once in a while, it sneaks up and plows through her defenses. Since we found out about you, JJ, all of her issues have surged back up to just below the surface. Her triggers are much more sensitive than usual. She was just telling us earlier that she feels like she’s sixteen again right now. You saw a little of that in her odd behavior last weekend.”

“But why did she want to talk about this today, then? I wasn’t in a hurry. I told her it was heavy stuff. I told her how badly I reacted. We could have worked up to this a lot more slowly. I would have been more careful, more sensitive, if—"

“JJ, chill. Please?” Jess gave her a sympathetic smile, paired with an eyeroll. “You were doing fine. You had no way of knowing what would trigger us like that because we haven’t told you about it yet. Hell, _we_ didn’t know it would trigger us like that. It’s not something that’s been a problem in quite a while. It’s just going to take her some time to address her flared-up issues again and settle them all back down.”

She looked away from the camera as she continued. “As to why we encouraged you to talk about it today, there are a few reasons—some of which are things we want to share and haven’t quite worked up the courage to tell you yet—but mostly, we could see it was what you needed.”

JJ noticed that Jess was looking brighter, but very distracted. She faced the computer again, but couldn’t hold it, looking to the floor or the side repeatedly.

“You needed to keep your momentum, opening up, dealing with Roz’ death and your anxiety. It’s what we do, JJ. We help people in the aftermath of trauma. Shelby does it with psychology, I do it with medical treatment. I know you understand that. You’re driven to help people, too. You get people out of their traumatic situations, and we help them heal. So, of course, we want to help our favorite new sister deal with her pain. That goes for Paul and Sandy, too. Even if it pokes at some of ours.”

“Because our pain doesn’t rule us. It tries to take over our lives, but we don’t let it.” Shelby shuffled back in, between the couch and the coffee table, wrapped in and nearly hidden by a puffy comforter. “Also, we’re just really eager to know more about our family.” She flopped back onto the couch.

From within the blanket, her bandaged hands emerged, holding a large bowl of rich chocolate ice cream and a spoon. She took a huge bite, then spoke with her mouth full. “Hi.”

“Hey.” JJ didn’t know what to say, but she was immensely relieved to see Shelby back, functional and smiling.

Jess dropped down next to Shelby and snuggled against the side of her comforter.

“Got another spoon?”

“Nope.” She took another big bite.

Sophie handed Jess her own bowl as she and Peter sat down.

“You know what?”

JJ turned to see tears streaming down Sandy’s smiling face.

“That looks delicious, and I’m getting hungry again. Excuse me while I hunt us up something too.”

“Mom?”

“I’m fine, sweetheart.” She looked to the screen. “I’m just so proud of how strong all my girls are. Back in a minute.” She kissed JJ’s cheek and walked out.

JJ watched her leave and debated following her. “One sec, guys.” She pulled out her phone and called Will.

“All done, cher?”

“No, not yet. Can you check on Mom? She’s crying, but I think she’s okay.”

“Yep, where is she?”

“She just went towards the kitchen. Thanks, babe.” She tucked the phone back in her pocket, still frowning.

“Yeah.” Sophie’s eyes looked pretty wet too. “All our girls are strong and compassionate and smart.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read about more of what happened with Shelby in Chapter 11 of Shaken and Stirred.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chronologically, this follows Chapter 11 of Shaken and Stirred.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

They waited awkwardly in silence for Sandy to return, until JJ grew too fidgety to persist. Now that Shelby was okay, she wanted to continue, but sitting alone, she had lost a bit of courage.

“I’m not sure where to go from here.”

Shelby adjusted her fluffy cocoon and said, “Well, I really appreciate you telling us about Roz and the baby, but can we table that discussion for now?”

“Of course.” JJ opened and closed her mouth, making a face as she debated her next words. She decided to keep quiet.

“What’s on your mind, JJ?”

Images of her sisters mid-panic flashed across her eyes, but she focused on Shelby’s currently calm, reassuring face. “I… I’m really afraid of saying the wrong thing. I don’t want to upset you.”

A look of amused annoyance crossed Shelby’s face. “Relax. I—we—have a lot of experience being upset. We’ll survive just fine. And as we’ve established, you, oh wise one, were smart enough to make sure we had emotional backup. We get upset, we work through it. Rinse, repeat. It’s actually you I’m more worried about. You can’t keep taking this all on yourself. You’re not causing our pain.”

“But—"

There was a knock at the door, and JJ called out a grateful “Come on in!”

It was Will who entered.

“Hey, everybody. Sandy’s fine, but she needs a break. She went to take a nap, and asked that, if she’s not back in an hour and you’re still talking, you wake her up. Cher, she sent you this.”

He handed her a massive brownie.

“Yummm! You’re sure she’s okay?”

“Yeah, I think she’s just overtired from last night and today. She’s good. So. If it’s okay with everyone, I’ll tag in and stay with JJ. Or if JJ’s okay and you’d rather I not, I can leave and just be on call if you need me, cher.”

JJ wanted him there, but when she looked to the screen, she clamped down on her nerves. “I’m fine with either option. Whatever keeps you the most comfortable.”

They had all turned to Shelby, who was chewing her lip, clearly uncomfortable.

“He already knows,” Peter said suddenly, taking Shelby’s hand when her eyes widened. “Breathe. You’re fine. Will let me and Sophie know last Saturday that he ran a background check when JJ called him. He found the newspaper articles. But he promised not to say anything.”

Will approached the camera with his open hands pleading for forgiveness. “It was a very shallow background check. The newspapers were the only thing I read. Nothing in the… files. JJ was freaking out, talking about you wanting to take her to meet people in the mountains, Jess. I was 3,000 miles away. I had to check and make sure she was safe. The cop in me wouldn’t let me do otherwise. When I got to Washington, I told JJ that I did it, and she made it very clear that she was upset with me and didn’t want to know anything I had found. She wanted to learn about you in-person.”

JJ was terrified of scaring them into panic or silence again, so she spoke very carefully. “I did cave and ask for a very broad-stroke impression of my safety because, once he pointed it out, it hit me how stupid it was that I had just agreed to go on a remote trip with someone I didn’t really know. Sorry, Jess.”

“No offense taken. I get it. We were all a little out of our minds that day. I can’t believe I did it that way now either.”

JJ gave a small, grim chuckle. “At one point, we got in a fight over it, when I was trying to figure out what to ask you about Alice, but he stuck to his promise and would only tell me that you two were good people who went through difficult times growing up, just like I had. He also wouldn’t say a word about Alice, which had me drawing my own conclusions. By the way, that, plus what you have and haven’t said about her, and everything I learned from Roz’s box… it all has me pretty convinced I don’t really care if I ever meet her.”

They all waited as Shelby took a few deep breaths and shared a brief silent conversation with Jess.

“Well, I’m sorry we caused you to fight, but I’m actually glad to hear your thoughts on Alice, since I’ve been worried about what I’m supposed to tell you. Thanks for the easy lead-in. Let’s start there.” She hesitated, but then, with a determined look, said, “Sit down, Will. May still ask you to leave, but I appreciate your discretion and kind words.”

Will placed the baby monitor on the desk, took Sandy’s chair, and wrapped an arm around JJ’s shoulders. She instantly leaned into the comfort.

Shelby exhaled sharply. “Okay, look. I was elected to tell you this because Jess is a softie chicken.”

“Hey. It’s true, but hey. Also, eew.”

“We thought hearing it from me might help you accept it.”

“Okay…” She had no idea where they were going with this, but it sounded like it was back to her turn for surprise and pain.

“Jess told you last week that my relationship with Alice is bad. I prefer to call it dead.”

Jess tried to interject, but was quickly cut off.

“We’ll agree to disagree on this point, but as it stands today, I hate the woman and have no desire to have her in my life.”

Jess tried to object again.

“Jess, you agreed that this was better coming from me. Let me get it out. My way.”

“Fine, but JJ, know you can talk to me about Alice anytime, for a slightly different viewpoint. Also, an explanation. You’re seeing a little of bitchy and hurting sixteen-year-old Shelby come through right now.”

JJ was watching their back-and-forth in tense anticipation. She nodded her acknowledgement. “Go ahead, Shelby.”

“Thanks. Jess is struggling right now with her feelings about Alice. She has always tried to stay involved, give Alice the benefit of the doubt, because she is so sweet and far too forgiving—Jess, not Alice—but this week shook her pretty hard. Jess visited Alice to get some stuff from our childhood. She also made a poor, misguided attempt to tell her about the weekend. Look, I’m not going to beat around the bush. This is probably going to sting, and I’m sorry. Alice flat-out refused to know anything about you or any part of the life she left behind in 1982.”

JJ took a deep breath, expecting a rush of emotion, a flood of tears. But none came.

“Go ahead and process that. Let me know when you want to keep going.”

“We’ll gladly talk it through with you, JJ, if you want,” Peter offered. “Or listen while you talk it out for yourself.”

She broke off a large piece of brownie, and scanned her thoughts while she chewed. Will remained silent, but gave her shoulder a squeeze.

After a couple minutes, she said out loud, “Doesn’t hurt as much as I feel like it should.”

“There is no right or wrong here, JJ. Only what you feel.” Sophie stroked a hand over Jess’s hair.

“My mother doesn’t want anything to do with me…” She angled her body more towards Will, but was speaking to the floor behind him, to the room. “I guess I always thought of it that way anyway, since I don’t remember her at all. Since Dad never mentioned her and Roz never had a kind word to say about her. Last week, I got excited for a while, curious about meeting my birth mother, but it really just sparked a giant list of questions I had for her and things I wanted to yell at her about.” She took another bite of brownie.

She turned back to the computer after another minute of silent contemplation and allowed her mind to settle, her confidence to grow. “If you’d told me this last week, I might have been crushed, but… Everything I read yesterday, the secondhand stories Paul told us… none of it was good. I still wanted to meet her, but it was definitely out of a desire to yell at her and demand answers. I’m sorry, Jess. I think I’m with Shelby on this. She doesn’t want to meet me, to even hear about me? Fine. It’ll take a while to shake off the need to know, but I don’t want an… uninterested or… unfeeling… toxic person in my life. In Henry’s life. I grew up with the best mom ever, and I’m more than willing to share her with you. So, I’m sorry you’re struggling with this, and I feel terrible that you’re hurting, but please don’t hesitate to let Sandy fill that void for you, Jess. She’ll do it in a heartbeat. So happily. For both of you. Think of her as your step-mom, if you want. I mean, technically, she actually is.”

Jess began to sob. Shelby was crying, too, but smiling. She held a big thumbs-up to the camera and shifted to engulf Jess with her cocoon.

Peter smiled at the screen and said, “In the interest of full disclosure, and counterpoint—Jess would be telling you this if she could talk right now—She did leave a picture of you, Will, and Henry with Alice. She also informed Alice of Hank and Roz’s deaths.”

“Screamed it at her as she ran out the door.” Shelby beamed with pride.

“So, Alice may come around eventually. We’ll just have to wait and see what she does with that information,” Peter finished.

“Cross that bridge when we get to it,” JJ decided.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go in this work...
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

“How much do you guys know about all the different places you’ve lived?”

Jess’s tears had subsided after a few minutes, and she’d surfaced smiling, thanking JJ for the offer of a loving step-mom.

“I got a brief rundown from Alice this week. Just the cities, no details.”

“Jess filled me in on the early list. I remember from when I was about five. Nothing about living in Washington the first time. Or the next couple stops.”

“Okay, well, I don’t know if this will help or hurt, Jess, but that’s something I can offer you. Apparently, Alice wrote letters to Roz for a while. They were in the box. It explains a little bit of the timeline, but you’re probably not going to like them. I sure as hell didn’t. Want me to read them to you?”

Jess looked resigned. “Sure.”

“You could hardly hurt my opinion of her.” Shelby sipped her water.

Reaching down, JJ pulled the stack of letters from the box. “All right, the first one is dated December 12, 1982. It says, ‘ _Dear Rosalyn, Hi baby! I hope everything’s going well in Pennsylvania. Thank you for taking care of things. I know you’re doing such a wonderful job helping your father. I just wanted to let you know we’re all moved in with Larry. His house is on a nice street and there’s a pretty view. You can even see a little of the mountains! I start my new job next week. Remember our talk and pay attention in school. Merry Christmas! Mom.’”_

Shelby scoffed. “So, she loved a guy named Larry enough to move us into his house somewhere in Washington, and totally forced or guilted Roz into the role of caregiver. At age eight.”

“Wonder what their talk was about.” Jess was twirling one of her curls around a finger, staring blankly off to the side.

“Probably the whole ‘keep your sisters a secret’ deal.”

JJ cleared her throat. “The next one is from March 20, 1983. ‘ _Dear Rosalyn, I hope you have a very Happy Birthday! It’s so rainy here. I don’t think I’ve seen the sun in weeks! I enjoy working at the club, and I’m meeting all kinds of interesting people. I’m pretty sure I saw someone famous last week! Be good for your father. Mom.’”_

JJ paused while they processed that.

“What is this club? It’s probably around Seattle if she’s seeing famous people. I assume she’s waitressing.”

“Maybe it’s a country club?” Jess looked skeptical.

“Then, there’s December 3, 1983. ‘ _Dear Rosalyn, You’ll never guess what happened. I’m finally getting my chance. Just like Larry said, I worked really hard and made friends with all the right people, and now I get my turn on stage! See, you can do anything if you work for it. Remember that. Merry Christmas, baby. Mom.’”_

An unsettled look crossed Shelby’s face. “I applaud the motivational bit, but what did Larry promise her and who are these right people? That sounds off.”

Jess remained silent.

“January 8, 1984—”

“A second letter in two months. How generous.”

_“‘Dear Rosalyn, I followed my dreams all the way to Las Vegas! How cool is that! This darling man saw me on stage at the club and just knew I could be a star. He was after me for weeks to move south and work at his club, and I finally decided New Year, New City! Larry was getting so annoying. So I packed up and here we are. Doyle said if I work in the back for a while, I’ll have my name in lights in no time! Mom.’”_

Shelby cackled. “A star with her name in lights? Alice? What is this dream of hers? My mind is flashing through some possibilities and none of them seem plausible. I’ve never heard her sing or seen her dance. She’s certainly no comedian. And Vegas? I hope she wasn’t one of those topless showgirls—"

“Shelby. Dial it back.” Sophie gave her a stern look and nodded towards Jess.

“Sorry.”

“She never mentions us.” The pain in Jess’s eyes was evident.

“Sure, she does. She packed up. We were packed.”

Jess was unamused. In fact, she was looking more and more crushed. JJ hadn’t wanted to hurt them further with these letters.

“Jess, do you want me to stop reading?”

“No,” was her only reply.

“Okay.” She swallowed her reservations and continued. “May 17, 1985.”

“A year and a half later! Such a wonderful connection she had with Roz.” Shelby looked disgusted.

 _“‘Dear Rosalyn, I’m in love! Stan is so handsome and has the most incredible accent. He came to hear me sing every week for the last few months in Vegas, and then he started sending me drinks so he could meet me. Isn’t that sweet? He took me out to the most amazing places and bought me beautiful clothes and jewelry. He promised to help me meet some record executives if I moved out to L.A. Can you believe it? I’m in the land of movie stars! Sorry I haven’t written in a while. It’s been such a whirlwind. Wish me luck and listen for me on the radio!’_ She didn’t sign this one as Mom. Best I can make out of this big flashy autograph is Lisa Jarrett.”

They all sat and absorbed that one in silence until Shelby began to talk it through out loud.

“So, she sang. Successfully. In public. And she had a stage name. And some foreign guy wined and dined her off to L.A.? I just can’t picture it. In love with Stan. Wonder what happened to Doyle. It sure seems like she’s in these relationships for what or where they can get her.”

“It’s like she’s writing to a girlfriend, not her daughter,” Jess stated in a near-whisper.

“Well, I suppose that makes sense when you consider that we seemed to be nothing more than luggage.”

“And I’ve never been mentioned once.” The letters left JJ with a harsh bitterness as she went through them again, now knowing the full extent of her disconnect with Alice. “August 9, 1985. _‘Dear Rosalyn, The girls and I are in Northern California now. We found this cute little place near a park, and I’ve got a new job. Shelby will be starting school soon. I think we could make a good home here. Mom.’”_

Shelby’s eyes were wide. “Whoa. Complete change in tone. And quick move. No mention of handsome Stan, or a new guy, or her future stardom.”

“Glad to see we finally make an appearance.”

The resentful tone in Jess’s voice cracked JJ’s heart.

“She still doesn’t ask about me.”

Will squeezed her closer and kissed the side of her head.

“That was the last letter. Or at least the last one Roz kept. By the way, there are no envelopes here, so I have no idea how Roz received them, or if Dad knew. They stop the year Mom and Dad started dating, so she doesn’t know either.”

“Seems she left the big dream of stardom behind her after L.A. I only remember her working as a waitress.” Jess looked to her sister.

“I think she cleaned houses, too. For a while.”

“Well, that brings us to the part of our timeline we knew, or Shelby did, in Sacramento. I remember from Eureka.”

Shelby seemed lost in thought. “She went from a consistent singing gig on stage in Vegas and talk of record deals and radio in L.A. to waitressing and housecleaning in Northern California and talking about her kids and a cute, little home in just three months… something must have happened in L.A., or some big name crushed her dreams. Right? I mean, she seemed pretty determined to make it big. To give it up so fast…”

“Maybe. I guess we won’t know unless she decides to talk about it. Well, I could have Gar—” JJ quickly stopped herself.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“No, really. What could you do?”

She debated telling them and decided to go for it. It was her own fault for bringing it up. “One of my friends is the technical analyst on our team. She’s a magician with technology and finding information. If, somewhere down the line, we’ve given up on Alice and you still want to know more about our past, I could ask Penelope to do some digging.”

“Something to keep in mind,” Peter said. “It’s a good backup plan.”

“She’s good at finding stuff?” Shelby leaned forward to sip from her water.

“She’s the best I’ve ever seen. We can give her a… shoe size and a gas station receipt, and she’ll find a name and address and tell us that they missed a car payment, saw _Titanic_ 20 times, and… like Greek music.”

Jess giggled. “Did that really happen?”

“No, weird hypothetical. But she’s that good.”

Shelby carefully set the glass back on the table and leaned back. “So, she could tell you about…”

JJ caught onto where Shelby’s mind was headed. She kicked herself for the slip and hung her head for a moment, then looked directly into the camera, projecting complete honesty and sincerity.

“She could. But she has been warned to stay out of your business. They all have. I gave them the same speech I gave Will. I am excited to get to know my sisters in their own words, in their own time. They all agreed to contain their curiosity.”

“Well, that’s nice of them.” There was a long awkward pause as several emotions warred on Shelby’s face. Suddenly, the comforter that had fallen more open during the letter-reading was tugged closed again, leaving only her head visible. “So, back to this state-hopping timeline…”

Peter looked almost disappointed and Sophie gave a resigned smile, but Jess was carefully watching her sister out of the corner of her eye.

“Thanks for filling us in on some of our missing pieces. Do you want to know more about what followed? Beyond the letters.”

JJ struggled to remain unaffected as all eyes on Shelby went wide in surprise. Shelby was looking straight ahead at the screen, though, either not noticing or determinedly ignoring their reactions.

“Sure. Yes, if you want to keep going, I mean.”

“Well, Roz’s last letter put us in Sacramento. That’s when I was about five and Jess was three. I remember starting school there, starting ballet lessons. That’s about it. A general feeling of happiness. Then, the summer before Jess started kindergarten, we moved to the coast. To Eureka. I remember more ballet, and we would go for a lot of big walks there. Along the shore, among the redwoods, down streets with the coolest old Victorian houses. I think we went on whale watching boats a couple times. It was great.”

Jess looked nostalgic. “Our apartment in Eureka had a playground around the corner. I remember wanting to go there all the time, Mom pushing me on the swings.”

“I liked the monkey bars.” Shelby smiled at her little sister, holding her gaze as she breathed deep. “Those were good years with Alice. She was really attentive, as active in our lives as she could be while working. Kind, loving… No random affairs with men, at least around us. We stayed there three years. Apparently, the longest stop yet…” She trailed off into silence, biting her lip and looking down.

Jess laid her hand palm-up on Shelby’s leg. After a moment, Shelby’s hand slid out of the cocoon and grasped it tight. 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING back in effect. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds or Higher Ground.

They all waited in patient silence for Shelby to continue. JJ slid a little closer to Will, pressing her thigh against his as she tried not to let her imagination get ahead of the conversation. Shelby was obviously struggling with her next words.

Will murmured in her ear, “You good if I step out, cher?”

JJ nodded minimally. She’d do anything to make her sister more comfortable.

“I won’t be far. Just holler if you need me. Remember, it’s all in the past, and you have each other now. You’re all strong, amazing women.” He kissed her cheek and turned to the computer, speaking at a normal volume again. “Please excuse me, ladies. I need to step out for a few minutes. You want me to fetch Sandy, or should I leave her be for now?”

“JJ?” Jess asked with one eye on Shelby.

“I’m good. Do you want her to come back? She won’t mind.”

“No, maybe later.” Jess answered for them both.

He stood and grabbed the baby monitor. “Okay, then—"

“Thanks, Will.” Shelby spoke very quietly, looking away from the camera.

“No problem, cher. See y’all later.” He squeezed JJ’s shoulder as he left the room.

The silence held for a few more minutes before Shelby abruptly began again. “After Eureka, we moved to Red Bluff. It’s a small city, south of Redding. First time I remember being annoyed by one of our moves. I was ten. Had to get settled into a new school, make new friends. There was a lot of farmland around. I missed the ocean and the forest. But it worked out fine for a while. Then, Alice met Walt.”

JJ felt a shudder run through her body at the hate in Shelby’s voice. This was it. Shelby was talking through it.

“He seemed nice at first. We didn’t see much of him until they got engaged. Just a few dinners. He was in upper management at a local company. Not rich by any means, but able to wine and dine her enough to impress. Guess her standards had dropped since the Vegas days. We moved into his house after the wedding. We didn’t have to change schools, could keep our friends. Everything just kind of… went on. Alice was a lot more focused on him than on us, by that point, but she was still around, involved. He acted nice. He was interested in our lives. Everything was okay until… Until I turned thirteen. Officially a teenager, and officially fair game for him.”

JJ took careful breaths and gripped the edge of her chair. She reminded herself that this was what she had suspected. This was not a shock. This was something she dealt with all the time at work. But it was still a shock. And it was personal. It was her sister in pain.

“He didn’t wait a week before he started… Every night… I didn’t know what to do. I was so confused and ashamed. I didn’t see any other options. He started to use Jess as leverage. If I was a good girl and never told anybody, he’d leave Jess alone. I lived with it for as long as I could. For two years, I… Then, I started running away.”

Possibilities began flashing through JJ’s mind. So many cases of runaways, lost children victimized, coping, surviving.

“I hid around town at first, and they kept finding me, bringing me back to him. I’d try to go farther, but they still found me. Then, around Easter of ’96, I made it all the way down to L.A. Hitchhiked, walked. Less to track if I avoided public transit. I lived under the Santa Monica pier for a couple weeks. Made some friends who helped me learn how to survive… do what I had to… One of those friends OD’d in front of me.”

Tears were streaming down JJ’s face now. She was overwhelmed with sorrow and compassion for her sister’s past self, with fear of the details Shelby was glossing over, and so much pride for the woman she had become.

“I don’t know how, but they found me after two months. By that point, Alice was just pissed at me for being so much trouble. I guess she’d been complaining to some of her customers at the diner and someone knew someone who knew someone… anyway, she heard about Horizon and she’d convinced him to help pay for it. So, when they dragged me back from L.A., she had it all arranged to send me to the woods. We established later that she knew, but didn’t want to know what was going on, so part of her shipping me off was her saving her marriage.”

Jess covered their joined hand with another. “You know how great we think Horizon is, how it works here, so let’s just power through the rest of the awful parts. You okay, JJ?”

“I’m fine.” She wiped at her eyes. “Go ahead with whatever you want to share.”

“While Shelby was away at Horizon, Walt didn’t keep his promise. He… moved on, to me. I dealt with it best I could. Went all perfectionist and super-bubbly control freak to hide what was going on. Alice was still in denial about everything, so I was clinging to her, soaking up all the love and attention she gave me. I was the good, perfect child. So much easier than Shelby. I adopted Alice’s attitude about Shelby, made her the focus of a lot of my rage, since she wasn’t there. But then she was back.”

“He had a heart attack.” Shelby continued. “He couldn’t work anymore, was mostly bedridden. Alice was working extra to support the family, and Jess was in school. So, eventually, Alice decided I had to come home and take care of him.”

“What?” JJ couldn’t believe what she was hearing. How could that happen?

She saw Peter and Sophie gripping hands across the back of the couch, not touching the girls, but at the same time, surrounding them in support. They looked upset by the unearthed memories.

“Peter tried so hard to keep me at Horizon, to work out scholarships, to convince her to let me stay. I’d been there almost eight months and had only just opened up to them after he had the heart attack. But she wouldn’t budge, and I wouldn’t talk to Social Services. So I went home. And I took care of him. As ordered. I buried myself in resignation, apathy. Alice resented my ‘attitude.’ Jess was pissed at me for leaving her there. He could barely function, was covered in tubes and medical equipment, and he was still trying to come onto me. It took about a month for me to crack. I freaked out, wavered between killing myself and killing him. I have no idea how close I came to actually doing it, but Jess pulled me out of it. She made some nasty comment that finally clued me into the fact that he’d done it to her too. And I was pissed. Everything I’d gone through to protect her was for nothing. So I called the police.”

“Alice still tried to deny everything to the cops, get them to leave. She was calling Shelby a liar until they talked about taking us away from her. Then, she caved and admitted she knew. Shelby won. She got rid of him.”

“Yeah, she did.” Sophie finally leaned in to hug Jess and placed her hand on the back of Shelby’s head.

“Shelby pushed to be allowed to go back to Horizon, but I stayed with Alice. My own choice. I was still clinging to her love, ignoring what she’d let happen. It didn’t last long. It all sank in eventually. Everyone was talking at school. Alice was shutting down, pissed about her husband being in jail. I finally broke and ran away too. But I ran north. And I ended up finding my way to Horizon.”

Shelby sniffed. “Walt died in prison while he was awaiting trial. Natural causes, but I still like to think that it was particularly drawn out and painful. Alice sold the house and moved up to Washington to be closer to us. And to leave the shame behind. She’s never forgiven me for how it all affected her. And that concludes the grim tour through our sordid past.”

JJ had held herself together the whole time they were talking, only letting silent tears flow. It was all catching up to her now. Her breathing started to catch as she began to ramble.

“I’m so sorry, Shelby, Jess. I’m so sorry you had to live through that. You’re both so strong to come through that and be such amazing, wonderful women. I really wish I could hug you right now. I need… I can’t… I can’t hold this in anymore. I need Will. I’ll be back. Please don’t leave. I’m so proud of you. I just—” Her sobs finally broke through, and she dashed out the door.

She collided with Will at the entrance to the living room and held on tightly as she crumbled. He eased her onto the couch and tugged a blanket around them both. She let go, let all of the rage and anguish and terror and guilt she’d felt during their story spill over. She cursed the universe, cursed Alice and Hank, cursed that man who hurt her sisters. Cursed Roz for not sharing the secret sooner or in a more obvious way.

After a few minutes, she felt Sandy’s arms come around her as well. She turned into her mother’s embrace and fell apart all over again.

When she was breathing more easily, she explained. “They’re incredible, Mom. They’ve had to endure terrible things, and Alice did nothing to stop it. I never want to meet her. I might hurt her. She’s awful. Anyways, she told Jess she wants nothing to do with me, with anything she left behind in Pennsylvania.”

“Hm.” Sandy’s opinion of Alice was plain as day on her face, but she kept it to herself. “Well, then we better get back in there and make sure they know they’re a solid part of this family now. They’ll have more love and attention and new friends and relatives than they’ll know what to do with.”

“Right. Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has been reading and stuck around to the end of this first part of my Family Found series. The whole thing has evolved well past what I'd originally planned when I began writing this during NaNoWriMo last year, and I hope you'll keep reading as I continue to play in this crossover world, focusing more on Shelby, Jess, Ginny, and Steve integrating into JJ's families in the next section of Shaken and Stirred. 
> 
> If you're reading the two stories chronologically, Chapter 12 in Shaken and Stirred is next.
> 
> I am also working on expanding Steve's pre-Navy backstory in this universe with additional chapters for McGarrett Goes to Washington - to be published once they're more complete. 
> 
> Questions? Constructive criticism? Suggestions? Thoughts? I'd love to hear from you in the comments! Hope you're all staying safe and healthy.


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